You lie here by my side, still waiting for death to arrive.
To necropolis he will take you, the shady cloaked figure.
You feel your wounds healing, and your pain getting softer.
Causing you distress is the possibility that he won't show up, that he'll let you live.
You explain how your heart was boiled in the flames, and that you want to leave.
You have nothing left but me, you say, and clench my hand.
So weak and cold, you pray for your suffering to end, so that I will also be set free.
I bite my tongue in a desperate attempt not to cry, but I fail.
Streams of the salty liquid fills my face, and the pillow below it.
Your hand comforts me, telling me not to be so sad.
There is a better place, you say, smiling.
I try to look straight up at the white roof, like you do.
But even that seemingly easy task, I fail to go through with.
I keep looking at you, your scars and wounds.
I wish I could share your pain, help you get through it.
The fact that I am unable to help you in any way pulls me further down into the emotional depths.
Then, as we lie there in silence, you start to smile again.
You say that you can see the gateway now.
You explain that it's beautiful, and that you want to venture through it.
I smile through my tears, telling you to go for it.
Your hand tightens its grip slightly, being the closes thing to a hug that you are able to give.
Suddenly, you let go of my hand.
You stop moving, trying to gasp for air.
I look into your eyes, and I can see the reflection of a man dressed in white.
The man is smiling, reaching out his hand.
In your eyes, I see the reflection of your hands, taking the hand of the one in white.
But your body is still now, there is no movement at all.
The very last thing I see reflected in your eyes, is your waving hand.
Waving goodbye, I hope to see you again.
Then your eyes turn clear, clear as the azure sky.
And you smile.
A contest entry
- What can your mind create? by LostShadow.
275 points, ended May 27, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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...This may sound rude, but are you a generally sad person? I mean, you're so good at writing sad, tragic stories it almost seems like you'd have to cause what person who is happy could write so sadly? Know what I mean? Anyway, like the other five or six things I previous read of yours...I loved it. A lot. Maybe I'm the sad person.
I like reading sad so much more than happy. Happy stories are so boring...
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Haha, it's not rude at all
I am sad sometimes, and happy sometimes 
Glad you liked it
Maybe we're both a bit on the sad side
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Wow this was sad, as most of your peices of work are. Very nice descriptions and flow to it all. Perfect ending, just beautiful.
Thanks so very much for entering and good luck.
Keep up the great writting.
Em
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that was so sad I am crying. No kidding. It was beautifully written you did a marvelous job. ...and I don't use the word marvelous often.
this was amazing and beautiful. remarkable wriitng, as always.
xoxo
Tay
(I cant even talk that was so empowering.)
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woah Mads! this is amazing.. very, very well written. i like how you tell a great story while still not telling us all the details. this was very realistic too. i could understand how the boy felt when he wanted to take her pain. i understood why he was happy "the white man" was coming to take her, to put her out of her misery. i've never read a story and smiled when someone died (before i read this). great job!!
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wow! you actually made this come to life.
i'm serious. i could picture the pain, and scenery, emotion, everything. you certainly have a way with emotion, creativity, and words. *standing ovation*
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It seems like a really really really god peice of writing. I like how you describe most things. It seems very sad, but in some way beautiful! . I like it. keep up the good work!
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so sad, but you always make death sound so beautiful. :')
beginning: 3, language: 4, ending: 5.
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Hmm.. there is a belief here that a dying person gets "picked up" by his/her dying relatives... so s/he would often say names of the past who have all died...
I don't want to experience having someone die with me, but with how you wrote things off, perhaps, one of the best things would be to experience a beloved's final moments in life WITH him/her.
I love how you made this story poetic.. a poemstory? Delightful.. I love the part where you described a heart as being boiled in flames - some pains could be like that.. centered on our hearts.
Great work, Mads. always a joy to read. Thank you for this.
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Man that was very well made me feel very sad, awsome like all your stories. Nice job.
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That was grand, sad but grand. The poetic style you chose fits the piece well.
The only thing I noticed was in the 3rd paragraph. "Your hand comfort me..." I think you want 'comforts'?
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Sad much?
I LOVED it though. It told a story in the form of a poem Nicely done 
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