The Man in the White Coat (part 2)

The man stood still for a moment, long enough for Dr. Adams to get used to the light. Time felt slow in that little room. Dr. Adams noticed the smell of urine, the not so white walls, then the very thin man in a lose striate jacket.

This strange man started to humm, as he starts to flap his elbows up and down, up and down. Hand under his sweaty pits held in place by the jacket.

‘He was running in circles in the corner of the room. I’m in his world now.’ Thinks Dr. Adams. “Smith, Mr. Smith,” The Dr. ask.

“John!!” Screams the humming man. He stops for a second to look over Dr. Adams. Then continues humm and starts to run in circles again. Dr. Adams sets down his briefcase. And takes a seat on the floor. Pulling out a thin paper.

‘John, John Smith. Self committed. Under suicide watch. Being medicated with…’ The Dr. rubs his tired eyes. ‘I hate the light in these rooms.’ He thinks. “You know John lets be Frank.”

“NO! Not Frank,” John sceams.

“I know, I know you’re John. I’m Dr. Adams. I’m here to help.”

“Not, John”

“But it says here on your papers,” ‘How could I be that dumb thinks the Dr. “Oh I get it John Smith.”

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Broken--Doll
    August 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    What a great conversation they had! lol! It was quite disconcerning as well as being a tad humerous, great mix!

    The only one tiny part that kind of spoiled the flow was when you used the words 'sweaty pits' That made me laugh, but overall, this is a great piece, and I really want to know more about the man in the cell.

    Great start, do keep writing!

  • luckhole
    May 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    more please