Breathe.
Just breathe.
And in that one short breath, take in all the love and hate, the joy and sorrow, the ignorance and intelligence. Feel it swim inside of you, cascading down your blood stream until your heart is beating faster than before.
Just breathe.
Feel the child’s joy, the adult’s heartbreak, the pensioner’s regret. See the daughter’s heart, the son’s hand, the father’s pride. Play witness to their lives, so they might have a solid record of what was said and done, what those years you dreamed with were wasted on.
Just breathe.
Watch the traffic speed past your asphalt island, headlights setting fire to the neon dividers. Hold your heart back as it attempts to leap away, over the Volvos and Vauxhalls, and the Volkswagen’s tired engine. Keep hold of what you have. Things fly away too easily in this purgatorial world.
Breathing is all that keeps you here. Stop that, and you’ll soar up up up and away to Nevereverland, invisible wings fluttering behind you, taking you to Peace. You try for a minute, closing your mouth and eyes, biting your lip, refusing to let in the air. But your body takes over, forcing you to gasp uncomfortably heavily, lungs screaming for oxygen.
Touch the snow on the railings as if it were a lover’s face. Brush your fingertips across the shining ice and feel it drip away from your caress, reassuring you that there is something weaker than your black-coated sincerity.
Breathe.
Think of her face, his lips. Her smile, his laugh. Her delicate contact on your thinning arms, his impromptu honesty, profoundly splashed into shallow conversation.
Just breathe.
Know you are beautiful, beautiful. Know you are everything and everyone. Never be alone.
Just breathe.
There’s a place where you will die. There’s a place we all die.
Breathe.
We’ll be safe there, sweetheart.
Breathe.
Author notes
So.. erm.. yeah. For all the readers of Kookies: I'm sorry I haven't updated recently. Life's been a little hectic, it's my SATs this week and I'm freaking out a little about them... More soon, hopefully. Don't worry. I haven't given up on it yet.
[oh, and the last 'breathe' should be in italics.]
A contest entry
- Im Not Scared. by asthray.heart.
1000 points, ended May 17, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze Me!!! by tacobell4me08.
275 points, ended June 18, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - If you're NOT from America! by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended August 8, 2007, 33 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ABSTRACT by Midnightmare.
200 points, ended September 16, 2007, 40 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Description by xhappyxrainbowsx.
115 points, ended August 1, 2007, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Write Me a Story by Stegofreak.
445 points, ended September 2, 2007, 65 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Interpretations?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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this i sso amazing! good job!
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that was really good actually. Dumb question- was that a poem?
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It wasn't intended to be poem, as it has no proper rhythm or stanzas. But if that's how you perceive it, then that's fine. I guess it's open for interpretations.
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Okay, first of all that was an amazing piece. Your layout was perfect for the story and it flowed with an unnatural fluidness that it’s had to find in many works.
Even your topic was treated really well. You took something so simple, so mundane, and made it something spectacular. And know I seem to be unable to breathe with out listening to myself doing it.
Again, truly amazing work. -
oh i loved this immensly! it has this amazing poetic ring to it that acents the repatition so perfectly. the grammer and spelling were wonderful too.
when reading this i held a sense of that song (breathe- 2a.m.) and it gave it this sort of crazy lyrical flow. loved it!
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I don't know what to say first! How about...What style was that! This was sooooo cool, I hope you have more pieces similer to this. (not the same, that would be like lightning striking in the same place twice.) -
excellent
this really was a great piece. lots of different emotions were expressed and it really made me think. i think it holds a meaning that is incomprehensibly deep. i thoroughly enjoyed this. thanks ever so much for entering =] -
This was so beautiful. It just m akes the reader so...entranced! I felt all the emotions and it was a really great piece!
Thank you sooo much for entering, and good luck!!!
xoxo
Tay -
read and commented (just commenting so i can keep up with the reading list)
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Wow.
That is the only word I really have to describe this, other that beautiful, of course. This is such an amazing piece of writing.
It's powerful, but it's delicate. It's simple, but it's complex. It's...WOW.
-Sarah
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Amazing!!!
Good job you amazed me!!! This was an incredable peice. I really enjoyed it and it had a good rhythm. The words flowed so nicely together and it was very easy to follow. this peice was soothing and comforting in a way. The imedry was fantastic! Everything sort of painted a picture. In every one of the 300 words were used wonderfully. Good write! good luck in the contest!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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The quality of writing for this piece is fantastic!! I loved it!!
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You write beautifully.. I am so envying you now, even if I am just rereading something of yours
haha, more, meggers, more!
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It was really pretty! It seemed like poetry. The descriptions were awesome! This is great work!
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"and' shouldn't start a sentence unless it's in dialogue.
This is actually a very powerful piece. I like the imagery behind it and like the overall message and feel.
I think instead of repeating "just breathe" in some places and just having breathe until the end would actually add to the impact but that's minor.
Great work. -
Whoa...
Did you meant it to be a poetry at first? Because it was exactly what I thought it was. I like how you manage to reach out and remind me to breathe... lovely style. I am so going to find your other works. And you inspired me, seriously.
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Poetic
I liked this a lot. There were sections that were so lyrical and flowed so well... if you expanded on this, and wove it into a plot rather than the monologue that it currently is you could definitely have something special. However, my one criticism would be that there are certain sections that don't fit with the style you've done so well to control here.
Pour exemple: "Breathing is all that keeps you here. Stop that, and you’ll soar up up up and away to Nevereverland, invisible wings fluttering behind you, taking you to Peace. You try for a minute, closing your mouth and eyes, biting your lip, refusing to let in the air. But your body takes over, forcing you to gasp uncomfortably heavily, lungs screaming for oxygen"
I'm not sure why, I just felt that this paragraph jarred with the rest of it. Maybe it's because I it looks unfinished?
Other than that, I'm amazed.
Keep it up and good luck with your SATs!!!
-Jess xxx
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As I said this was amazing, thank you sooo much for entering this. Was a charm ro read it again.
Lady Madeline.
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You are a master.
Even with SATs, your brain has not been fried and you were able to write something that is so true, so beautiful... and I am so envying you right now because you were able to put so much beauty and truth in a few words, while I struggly each day to pen my observations... *will use this envy to writer better* 
oh yeah, thank you for this, Omega! ^_^ 
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Wow this was amazing, you put so much emotion into this peice it's amazing. You have a lot of talent here.
Lady Madeline.
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You're brilliant. I am completely in love with this. It's amazing and beautiful and I really really couldn't love it anymore then I already do. I wish I had your talent.
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I'm not sure I've read any of your stuff yet, which makes me a horrible and evil person.
I am wishing after reading this that I had started reading your work long ago. This is beautiful mega munch. It has such feeling and imagery...very profound. Great job on this!
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