She wasn’t moving. Wasn’t breathing.
I stared down at Kate numbly.
“Kate,” I murmured, “wake up.”
When she didn’t, I bent down beside my friend, shaking her, “Get up, Kate!”
Her shoulders were too cold, her eyes too dull.
“Kate!” I cried hysterically, “Answer me!”
She looked up at me, her eyes staring off into another world.
“You can’t leave me! You can’t! No, Kate! No!”
I pulled my friend to her feet. “C’mon Kate. Lets go.”
Only then did I notice the blood. It trickled from her glossy lips, gushed from a bullet wound.
I still held the gun.
Author notes
6) Murder
A contest entry
- Short, Sweet, and Sizzling by Arcularis.
750 points, ended May 26, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - A story by jtnbuck.
130 points, ended May 16, 2007, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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great
did the narrarator kill its own friend? the ending was a shocker 0_0 -
heh
This is great. I love 100 word stories . Totaly fits my extremely lacking attention span.
One thing - what was Narrator fretting about? I mean, s/he didn't even NOTICE the blood or the wound until the last sentence? So why freak out about Kate not moving when the Narrator was obviously the one who shot her?
Heh. Or maybe I'm thinking wwwwayyyyy too much into this and it's totally obvious.
Probably the latter. :-D -
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i agree, the story's a bit confusing.. in my opinion, the narrator's a little crazy. like she didn't want to believe what she'd done until she saw it. lol sorry, i guess it's not that obvious.
thanks
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ok this is good I am warning you to please put what you wrote about in your notes then I will comment again thank you
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Wow. This was really good. Nice ending. It makes you want to read more.
peace♥ryley---
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*Pyscho theme plays* Great ending, and really good for only a hundred words
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Wow, what an ending. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow!
Very good story Sara! =D
I did not expect that ending! =)
I hope you win the contest... you deserve it! =D
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Short..... but great!!!!
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o0o0o0 very nice. short and bone chilling. wasn't expecting the ending
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