The Transformation

Oh yeah....we were cool. We would pull our fingers through our long, dark hair, and everyone would notice. Especially the guys. There was this total heart-throb named Chris Prets. No one called him by his real name. Everyone either called him Pretzel or Prets. I usually wasn't noticed much by the guys. I wasn't as thin and pretty as the others, and I didn't wear 5 pounds of makeup on my face. You usually found me wearing a baggy t-shirt, cut-off shorts, and some dinky old flip flops. I didn't really care, but it was fun to play like I did sometimes. I was friends with the "preppy, pretty" girls, so of course, sometimes I fell into their ways, such as flipping my hair in front of all the guys. But one guy that I could never flip my hair at was Chris Prets. I always would get shaky and butterflies would flutter in my weak stomach. I didn't care what people thought about me at all. But I did care what Prets thought. He meant the world to me. I dreamt about him all the time. But of course, so did all the other girls. If he ever noticed me, I would melt. Right there...I would melt if our eyes ever were to meet...1

But things started to change. We had the summer to think, and of course to make any changes we needed for our senior year. I didn't change at all. I totally kept wearing baggy t-shirts and cut off shorts. That was my style that no one else could really pull off, and still be deemed as popular. It was the summer before our senior year, so of course it was supposed to be fun and extremely eventful. Our group of friends hung out all the time. We went to the movies every Friday night. But I noticed something really changing about my friends. They started caring more about boys than hanging out with each other. I even brought it up at one of our girls night outs, but they told me I was being a drama queen as usual. Weeks went by, and we hadn't gone to the movies. I called and asked when they were coming to pick me up, but their excuses were always "Oh, So-and so- and I are going to the movies tonight!" I would just hang up on them when I heard that, because they knew how I felt. But one day, something really scary happened...2

One of my best friends, Lissa, showed up at my house. I went outside to greet her, because I was so surprised that she actually had taken time away from her boyfriend to spend time with me. She looked terrified, and I could tell that she had been crying. We walked to my back yard and set on the swings... 3

"I'm pregnant."4

Her voice sounded faint and horrified at the same time. I couldn't believe that these words were coming out of my best friends mouth. She was pregnant? This was so weird. We talked about it for hours. She said that she wanted to get an abortion, but she just knew that it was wrong and she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she killed her baby. We talked, and talked, and talked. I tried not to cry, but it came out anyway. Tears streamed down my face because I was so upset with her. She told me that her boyfriend had done with her as he wanted, and then went to another party and had sex with two other girls. He had told her it was going to be a romantic night full of wonderful memories. He turned out to be lying to her. What a piece of scum. She finally left, and we promised to spend more time together. Not only did my friends start changing, but so did someone else...5

I was eating a very large, carmel dipped cone at Dairy Queen when totally out of no where, Prets walked in. I froze. He saw me before I saw him, because he was already walking over to me. I was so nervous. I didn't know what I was supposed to say, or how I was supposed to act. All I could say was "Hi, P-p-p-Prets". I couldn't believe that I had stuttered. He was with his friends and they all started laughing. My face turned bright red. I remember how hot it was. 6

"Hey Moo Cow," he said to me, "lay off the sweets, eh?"7

I was so embarrassed. Had he really just called me "moo cow"? After Prets had insulted me, they erupted into a loud roar of laughter. All I could do was just sit there. As they left, they made cow noises back at me. I started crying. Prets was the only guy that I really liked, and who I was self-conscious around. I left DQ right away and ran home. I got calls for days after that of Prets mooing into the phone. I never wanted to speak to him or see him ever again. The phone calls finally stopped, which was a lot of relief for me... 8

My friend Stacy met me in the park one day. She looked really bad. Her whole appearance had changed. She used to be brunette, really thin, and glittery. She had black makeup on now, and had died her hair black. She really didn't look so great. I was worried about her, so I tried talking to her about it. The talking idea didn't work with her. She was on heavy drugs. She told me about all of the dope she had sold. I was so surprised that she had sunk to this level. She offered me a smoke, but I turned it down and told her I had to go home... 9

So it was time for our senior year. I wasn't looking forward to school starting anymore. Everyone had changed so much. I had even cut my hair and layered it. I looked a little different, and a little prettier with my hair cut. On the first day of school, my hair was totally a hit. I saw Stacy hanging on some guy with a cigarette in her mouth. She waved at me, and I waved back. I was standing with Lissa, who was starting to show a little belly from the pregnancy. And then...there he was. It was Chris Prets. "Hey Christopher," I said with sarcasm in my voice. He looked at me really weird, turned around to walk, and then turned back around to do a double take. He looked me up and down, winked, and then whistled. Lissa just rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him with disgust. 10

At lunch I confronted him. "What's the deal with you?" I asked him.11

"Oh...you just looked so fine is all," he said proudly.12

I just cringed at him when I heard him say that. I smacked him and reminded him of how he had treated me earlier that summer before school started. He apologized. He down on one knee and begged for my forgivness. His eyes looked so incredible. I said that I had forgiven him, and he kissed my cheek. I almost melted. Then he asked me out, and I thought I would die. This was going to be the most romantic night ever. He promised that he would make me very happy and treat me with tons of respect...13

So this was it. It was our first date together. We went out to dinner, and then we went to the park. He had a blanket set out, and candles, and some chocolate. I just looked at him in disgust and asked him what all of that was about. He just told me it was going to be the best night of my life and I would never forget it. Okay, so I was a bit weirded out by what he had said, but I went and sat down with him anyway. He then started getting a little too touchy, pulling way too many moves. I got up quickly and smacked him across his face. Before he could say or do anything else, I left. I couldn't believe that he actually had tried something like that with me. I met Stacy on the way out of the park, and she saw that I was really upset... 14

I talked to her about what Prets had done to me, and what he had tried to do to me. I was in tears, and shaking so hard. I was so upset. My heart hurt so bad and my head hurt from crying so hard. Stacy offered me a joint. I hesitated at first, but I thought "Hey...why not?", so I smoked a few...15

As time went on, I started hanging out with Stacy more, and Prets and I got back together. He was the greatest guy ever, and we went to party after party, always having the night of our lives at every single one of them. He was amazing. Stacy always had a joint handy when I needed one. Those always made me feel better. Soon, my clothing changed from baggy clothes, to clothes like Stacy was wearing. Leather belly shirts, and tight leather pants. I thought I looked so good in them. The guys were all over me, and I thought that was the attention that I had been missing all of my life. This was so much fun...such a wonderful life. I drank until I couldn't drink anymore. Prets drove me home, and was nice enough to buy me some Advil for my headaches...16

I was really hungover in the morning, but I didn't care...I had had so much fun the night before. I was used to this by now anyway. I had been partying hard for months. It was a wonderful life. I had such a great time. I was considered a top drinker at most parties, and I even got an extra and special shot if I could drink more than the guys. That usually was the case. But one night I was sitting at home, and there was no party, and Prets was out of town. Stacy was home sick...17

I sat there on my floor, smoking a cigarette. Wasn't as good as what Stacy had, but it worked too. It took all of my troubles away. My phone rang, so I got up to answer it. It was Prets! He was calling me...to tell me...I was a "No-good, sleezy bitch." WHAT? I couldn't believe my ears. But he was really saying this to me. He was calling me these things. I hung up the phone, and smoked even harder. With each sob, my lungs hurt even more from the smoke. I felt myself suffocating. I couldn't believe this! I fell down and started sobbing. I grabbed my pocket knife, ready to slice my wrist. But something caught the corner of my eye. I looked over at my bookshelf, and there laid a book that I hadn't picked up for years it seemed. It seemed to be calling to me. But I thought that was just silly. No, it wasn't though. The power was overwhelming. I laid my knife down and ran over to it. It was my Bible. I just stared at it in awe for a minute. I closed my eyes, opened my Bible, and placed my finger on a spot. When I opened my eyes, my finger was pointing right on John 3:16. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, That whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life". Suddenly I got down on my knees, and raised my hands in the air. I cried out to God. This time...I was serious-giving my all to Jesus! I asked Him to forgive me of my awful sins I had committed for so long. I cried all night, but part of those tears were rejoicing. God had saved me. He had saved me from almost maybe killing myself. He had saved me from more hurt. God was moving in my room. I could feel the power. It was awesome! He saved me...18