my notebook story 3

It was nearing sundown when Misty stopped below an oak tree to set up camp for the night.1

'I really shouldn't be wasting time like this...' she thought to herself, but she knew that if she didn't get any rest she'd be unfit for anything unexpected the next day (though nothing was really ever "unexpected").2

She went about the forest near her oak tree, picking up fallen branches and twigs to use for a fire. She then stacked them carefully off to the side, selecting only a few sticks for burning.3

As she whispered words in her native tongue and a small flicker started to appear among the kindling, she caught sound of hoofbeats in the distance, drawing nearer.4

"What on earth..? Nobody uses this road anymore except us hunters..."5

She blew the little flame out and climbed up into the branches of the tree, looking up the path to see who was approaching.6

As the stranger came closer, Misty dropped from the tree onto the road in front of him, drawing her long, elven knives as she fell.7

She assumed a fighter-thief's threatening stance upon landing, brandishing her knives samaurai-style.8

The rider checked his prancing horse and threw back the hood of his cloak, revealing his face.9

"There's only one person I know who can way-lay passers-by with such style," he laughed.10

Misty lowered her weapons and took a step forward, tilting her head to look up at him. "Dairon?"11

"The one and only, my dear Mithfalasiel,"12

Dairon lept gracefully off his horse and bowed with a flourish.13

"What are you doing here, Dai?" Misty asked curiously.14

"Looking for you."15

Misty jumped and her eyebrows shot up in surprise and Dairon laughed again. "Come, come, now. Is it really that shocking? I think maybe you'd better sit down before you fall over."16

Misty blushed. "I'm perfectly fine. I don't need to sit down," she said defiantly. "Though I am wondering why you'd be looking for me."17

Dairon came over to her and draped an arm across her shoulders.18

"It's really quite simple, my dear. You see, I... Well, I'll explain it later when we all get settled in. Is this tree your camp?" he asked, looking at the oak tree suspiciously.19

Yes, it is. How did you know that?"20

Dai glanced towards the fire blazing behind them. "Usually, if there's a fire, there's a camp."21

"Oh," Misty looked at the fire as well. 'How'd that get there?' she wondered. 'Didn't I put it out?'22

Contemplating all the ways the fire could've started itself again, she helped Dairon unsaddle his horse and brush it down.23

"What's her name?" she asked him.24

"Who's name?"25

"The horse, you dummy!"26

"Deor," Dairon replied. "And I'm smarter than you, twip."27

"Are not!"28

"Are too."29

"Since when?"30

"Since now."31

"Oh, really?"32

"Yes. Really,"33

"Prove it!"34

"I will,"35

"How?"36

"You'll see,"37

"When?"38

"Soon,"39

-Misty snorted.40

"And don't say another word."41

"Why not?"42

"I might have to kiss you."43

Misty looked up from combing Deor's mane, startled.44

"Really. I'm not kidding. I might have to, if you don't shut up," -her jaw dropped open in shock- "And close your mouth. It's not polite to gape at people."45

Trying to fight down the heat that was coming to her face, Misty snapped her mouth shut and didn't say another word until they were done grooming Dai's horse.46

Author notes

again i must remind. start at 1 and go through from there. pardon if it's no good. it writes itself lol

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Comments

  • Bluecloudgray
    July 20, 2008

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    paragraph 2: I think you mean next day, not nest day.

    Paragraph 8. My only question is how does a samurai wield 2 blades? I think most people, myself included, are used to them only using one at a time.

    Here's where it's starting to slow down. Make sure if you keep doing this, it's to further develop the story because that doesn't really happen here.

    Also, you jump into the quick exchange without giving much else on there relationship so I find myself having a hard time immersing myself into their chemistry.

    Keep up the writing and thanks for the read.


    • Smores Girl89
      July 20, 2008
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      as the author comment says, it writes itself. i didn't know there was a Dairon until he appeared out of nowhere. if you continue reading through the chapters it unfolds a bit more. as he says "i shall explain later when we all get settled in..". and i did not know samurai did not use two blades. i always thought they did not all of them, of course, just some of them. that reference was more to the pose she's taking, her stance, as opposed to how many weapons she chooses to use at one time. obviously each individual has their quirks. as for slowing down, i can't have excitement in every piece it's a long story. one must know the details, get in touch with the characters, and so on. but thank you for the critique. there may well be some editing seeing as it was written in 2005