The girl's name was Jenny. She had a ton of friends, a caring family, got good grades, modelled for a well known magazine, and was considered drop dead gorgeous. Her friends said she was lucky and assumed she loved life, but no one knew what secrets she kept hidden through the smiles, the laughter, and the twinkling blue eyes.1
I guess it all started when she came to school crying. No one knew why, and a countless number of people asked her what was wrong. Jenny just shook her head said nothing, and smiled through the tears. Her friends let it go, figuring her cat had gotten run over or something and it wasn't really a big deal especially if she was still smiling.2
Jenny still hung out at the mall, she still got top grades. She was still gorgeous and perfect. She started to slowly decline as much food as she could. I watched from afar as she grew thinner and thinner, paler and paler with every second of every day, with every piece of food that she threw away when her friends and family turned their backs. She knew what she was doing, she was so secretive, no one would have suspected a thing. Or so she thought.3
One day a close female friend noticed that she was exceptionally thin. They were swimming. The friend asked Jenny about it. Jenny denied having a problem, insisting she still ate. The friend let it go, figuring that Jenny- perfect, beautiful, smart Jenny- knew what she was talking about and would know if she was anorexic or not. But what the friend failed to see was that Jenny had all this pain locked up inside of her. And she knew her friends didn't see it. They saw the Jenny who was ultra skinny. They saw the beautiful, lucky Jenny. They didn't see the hurting, crying Jenny.4
Summer vacation came. Jenny's friends suddenly always had an excuse not to see or call her. Jenny had never felt so alone. One night she sold her body for a gun. She kept that gun hidden under her mattress, "just in case", was what she whispered to herself every night before she cried herself to sleep.5
Days seemed like years for her during the summer months. Her world was spinning out of control. Jenny was changing for the worse, all too rapidly, and her world was closing in on her. No one noticed and no one seemed to care about her. Her friends had abandoned her. She cried in secret, and she wrote death poetry on scraps of paper that she kept carefully hidden.6
In September Jenny's "friends" now had new friends. Glamorous Jenny now became "Jenny Who?". Jenny was now deathly thin, and she knew it might kill her. She ate a little bit more. She quit her modelling career. She gained weight very slowly. But then Jenny started to think she was fat. She stopped eating again.7
Her grandfather died in early October. It was a devastating experience, and her grief was something she could share with no one. Jenny had no friends, her parents were doctors and hardly ever home, she was all alone in the world. 8
And she was still trying to smile.9
But as the months went by, she stopped smiling. She got sicker and sicker because of her anorexia. When she fainted in her room and no one found her, she realized she needed to start eating. She started to eat obsessively and gained weight rapidly. She started exercising and she thought she was getting her life back together, fixing the broken soul that lied before her in shambles. 10
She was wrong.11
Her grandmother died. I watched once more as her world spun out of control. She was forced to drink life's poison, and she was broken, scared and alone again. In her poetry she wrote about being alone, having no friends, reaching out but no one reaching back. She was alone- it was a fact, and she couldn't accept the pain that it brought.12
She didn't want to cut, she wrote in her diary that she didn't want scars on her body when she was dead. She wrote more and more about death, suicide, and pain. She cried silently, when no one was watching. And she smiled when she had to. No one suspected a thing. She was back up to the normal weight for her age, accepting the fact that she needed to eat. People thought Jenny was just fine. 13
All because she was smiling.14
Then one evening in January, Jenny took out that gun from under her mattress. No one was home. She cried and cried, and tried calling her friends. No answer. Her dreams were lost now, gone with the wind. Her feelings were hidden deep inside of her. At the point of her gun, she decided she would show the world what she was really feeling. 15
"I'll smile for you in heaven." 16
Those were her words as she put the trigger up to her head and pulled it.17
The shot rang out. Jenny was dead.18
Author notes
inspired by whispernthedark's contest for dark stories. i might enter it... i don't know.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this describes most people that are depressed. it's an incredible write! i have one that's somewhat like it...it's called angelic suicide, the story. i think that if people took the time to talk about their problems instead of turning away from their friends, a lot of things would be different and not so many would die of suicide every year. a person is never truely forgotten or lonely. they always have someone, althought they may not know who, they always have someone that cares. whether it's family or someone who likes them or a close friend. that's what people need to remember. that's what has kept me here for so long already. anyways, great write, and if this is personal, i'm here for you to talk to.
~~Marlana -
Wow. This is really good... I love the part where she sold her body for the gun. And that line about how they thought she was fine, all because she was smiling. Well done, thank you for entering the contest.
~whisper
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I love this hun.... kinda reminds me of myself in ways... im the one always smiling and no one looks past it... *sigh* This is an awesome story. Very well written. Wow all outta words to say (takes that as a compliment). Awesome write and good luck in the contest.
*~OD~* -
first of all, a very well written piece. i belive however, there are sevral things that could be improved. the narrorateor could be expanded, thus far all we see is an observer. who are they? why do they watch from afar while this girl hurts herself. secondly the line ne night she sold her body for a gun, was very powerfull. beutifully constructed. however, there is no motivation here. yes, i agreee taht often anorexix people simply slip into it, but from a narrative viewpoint it would be much more suitible for this too be triggered by a single incedent, wich could then be revisted at the end of the story
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thank you paula
<33
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Wow! I think you should MOST DEFINITELY enter the contest! This is AWESOME! This is the second story I've read by you; you're a very gifted story-teller. And just as with the first, I was held to the very last, hoping and praying that the girl wouldn't take her life. A tragic story, but one that is becoming a reality more, and more across our country! You are SO talented, Amy! I think you could definitely have a career as a writer! Keep on, girl!!!!
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bravo!! bravo!! i think this is one of the best poems I have read. Great write and the ending left me speechless
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this is sooo gorge, dark and the ending, wow, you are a superstar! well done!
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This... Was really good. I loved it. So sad!
~Becks -
Very powerful story here. It's horrible that so many people fall within life's fissures and are forgotten as people around them are too concerned with their own lives to take time to show someone who is hurting that they care.
This is well done and I hope you enter the contest.
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wow this was a raly raly raly good story you should like get this 1 look at by a poblsher or somthing all right well i hope to see moar like it see you wen i see you by for naw
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Oh, you should definitely enter the contest. This is a very emotional story and a wonderful piece of work. Great job and if you enter, good luck in the contest!
--Jenn
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This is wonderful ch0colate and I think you should enter it. You are a very gifted and talented young writer. Your story has amazing depth and clarity. I love it! Thank you for the privilege of reading your work again.
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very good
wow this was happy to sad write a classic person who had it all and then loses it yet that is the way the world works .very good write .
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