The Song of the Storm

The Listener walked slowly to the edge of the cliff, into the silent, serene night, and there he sat, sat for a long time. Sat in the stillness of the black night, waiting. For what, he was not sure. He listened to the hum of the earth beneath him, coursing through him. The ground was soft, covered in a lush green grass, still moist from the morning dew and resting like an audience. At first, everything was quiet and peaceful. This night, nothing stirred the peace. Then, there was rain.1

A single raindrop, falling slowly from the sky, hit the Listener’s face without so much as a sound. Then, ever so gradually, more succulent drops began to make their way to the ground. He began to hear the rain now, its rhythm forming in the silence. The rain drops hit the leaves and blades of grass, thousands of them singing a simple melody together. Yes, the raindrops were singing. They hit the leaves and sang their song. They sang “hiss” through the branches of the trees. They sang “plop” into the puddles, gathering on the ground at his side. They fell onto the Listener’s calm, shallow face with a soft, rhythmic “pit-pat.” The sound of rain was everywhere, surrounding him. The Listener listened to the song, its intricate rhythm and voice, and he smiled. Then there was wind.2

The wind pushed down through the valley and up the jagged cliff. He could hear it whooshing past his ear. As it became stronger, it started to whistle, whistle amongst the rock face. The wind was also singing, joining the raindrops in their chorus. The sounds, whooshes and whistles of the wind were being intermixed with the hisses, plops, and pit-pats of the rain. The music was swelling, erupting into a beautiful counterpoint. The Listener listened to the beautiful, haunting, harmonized melody of the wind. Then, there was thunder.3

The thunder came slowly, with a low rumbling; a deep voice, chanting softly in the distance. The Listener tried to make sense of this strange chant, trying to find a rhythm in its voice, listening for its rhyme. The voice grew louder and softer without rhythm. The chant had no rhyme. All the while, the wind and the rain sang over it, paying it no heed. The Listener listened calmly, quietly, patiently, realizing that something would soon happen. And it did.4

The wind and the rain changed their rhythm in a subtle manner. There were accents on beats where there were none before. There were rests in the rhythm where there was once sound. The thunder joined the cadence, adding an intricate rumbling. There was a pulse to this music. It was alive, pulsing through the Listener’s body. The rain began to sing stronger. The wind’s melody began to pick up, increasing in tempo and velocity. The thunder rumbled into a climactic crescendo. The Listener knew what would come next.5

There was a flash of bright light and a booming crash that echoed throughout the valley, down to the ground, reverberating up the cliff side. The thunder bellowed its song to the world, and the Listener listened. The thunder called out again, and the wind answered it, singing and swirling through the trees and the valley. Again, the thunder sang out, and this time the rain answered it by singing stronger than before. All three sang their song together, creating a beautiful symphony of sound.6

And there the Listener sat, sat for a long time, listening; listening to the symphony. The rain, wind, thunder, and lightning forever singing, singing the song of the storm.

Author notes

AN for contest: This piece was inspired by the music of Gustav Holst, namely his Planet Suite.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think. Feedback makes for better stories.

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • MintAnimeAngel
    June 19
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    Awesome!!!

    you used really descriptive words! your words amde the picture form really clearly in my mind!!


  • KitsuneTenshi
    June 19

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    Wow... this was truly an amazing and eye opening piece. Everything came to life in my mind with your words. There isn't anything that I don't like. The format, your words and... everything was just awesome.

  • Uniquely-Scarred
    June 19
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    this was really good i loved you descriptions of things, take care


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    June 17

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    Hi Felanor!

    This is very good. It's one of the best descriptins of a storm beginning and reaching a crescendo I've read.

    I couldn't help feeling a bit disatisfied about what I learned about the Listener. I wanted to know the listener as well as I was knowing the storm.

    I also felt that we didn't arrive at a ending. I felt like there needed to be something more. I was left wanting.

    It was quite well written and I believe it will work in the anthology.

    We are allowing two stories if you have another to be considered, under 4,000 words and PG 13.

    Andy


  • Donkey
    June 8

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    wow
    this is such a beautiful piece, i love the description; the storm is so vivid, it's alive through your words. thank you, and good luck


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    June 7

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    Amazing.

    This was just what I wanted to hear. I really hope you continue writing stories like this because: You're in the finalists list.


  • Dragonaris
    May 31

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    I'm searching for a word... Amazing! I will say, I have never thought of a storm that way. I like when the story says 'The Listener listened.' This was one write that doesn't need to be changed. Excellent. Next time a storm comes rolling past, I'll listen for the Song of the Storm!

    • felanor
      May 31
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      Thanks

      The "Listener listened" line was one of my prides with this piece. It was simple, almost lyrical, but it didn't seem redundant. Thanks for the great comment and for posting a great contest.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    February 28

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    It's very lyrical and lilting prose; in itself, your story has a lovely rhythm to it. I think I got rained on while reading it.
    I'm not sure how it relates to my contest though. Are you saying the storm is your muse?

    • felanor
      February 28
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Valkyrie,

      My muse is nature, but more specifically, weather. Whenever I need inspiration to write, I look up to the skies, listen to the wind rustling through the trees, the sound of rain patting on the roof, or hail rolling against my windows. The world around us is full of a beautiful melody and that is my guide.

      Felanor

      • Valkyrie silver member
        February 28
        Edit | Reply
        Ahh, gotcha. If you'd added that to the author notes, it would have cleared up my confusion, but it's all the same in the end. It's a beautiful story.


  • Lois.Stone
    February 28
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    Wow, thats really good. I love the way you write!

    xx


  • HengmanL
    February 28

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    Enchanting.

    May the sun bring you new energy by day, May the moon softly restore you by night, May the rain wash away your worries, May the breeze, blow new strength into your being, May you wal gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

  • Kitzwa
    June 21, 2007

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    I love the style in which this piece was written. It's very poetic. I don't really know why, but it kind of sounded like an old Native American story. Great job. Thanks for entering my contest.


  • Mai4ever
    June 5, 2007

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    This is a well-done piece! I was capitivated from the very beginning to the end. It was just beautiful. Good luck!

  • Pietro456
    May 7, 2007
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    Excellent !

    I reallly like this story. The use of the
    terms is very good ! Keep up the great work.

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • eyeambaldman
    May 7, 2007
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    This is a good exercise in descriptive imagery. I like how you portrayed nature as an orchestra. There's no real conflict here which kind of leaves the reader holding the bag, waiting for something to happen. Other than that, nice work!

    • felanor
      June 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      While there is no conflict, the nature of the story didn't require a conflict. After all, not every story is about a struggle. Sometimes, a story can be just about the world around you, in it's most basic form.

      ~Felanor


  • KingWolf
    May 6, 2007

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    Very nice tale. I love your descriptions and felt like I was listening to a story told by an old Indian story teller. Beautiful. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • StephLippitt
    May 6, 2007

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    This is great! It sounds more like a narrative poem than a short story though, but I still really liked it. Fantastic work!
    Thanks for entering!
    hugs,
    Steph


  • Alexander Hine
    May 3, 2007

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    That was really beautiful. I don't really have any criticisms (apart from some spelling ie, lightening) but I will say that you have a wonderful grasp of imagery and, so it seems, a great appreciation for the smaller, subtler, more transient beauties of this world. Keep writing and listening to the rain.
    K. F.

    P.S. if you feel like commenting on my stories that would be nice, they've been up for a while now and - nadda.
    Again, a sumptuous little snapshot of man and nature, thankyou.
    K. F.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 5.

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