The Shoreline

It was rare that I ever got any time away from her mother's watchful eyes these days. Ever since I had found out that the disease had invaded her body, I was watched like a hawk. Though everyday I dwindled away. my mother believed she would be well soon. She snuck off to the balcony, looking off the edge.

Some days. I just want this all to be over. The pain, the treatments. Just what sort of life is this? My mother never lets me go anywhere. The only solace is the dreams that come to me at night.

The blue skies, and the clouds and winds from up so high, reminds me of how it was. My favorite place at the beach. Taking a breath, it was almost like having the fresh sea air in her lungs. then the clucking of the mother hen screeched in my my ear.

"Lillian Alica Wight! Just what do you think you are doing? You should be in bed! You will never get any better this way!"

A sigh. I slowly shuffled off to bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling trying to bite back tears. My eyes started to close as I drifted into sleep. A familiar dream. I was sitting on a beach, watching the waves rolling in. I felt so relaxed. So alive.

I smiled, it was a cloudless day. It seemed like there was nobody else there. Yet as I looked around I noticed a few people basking in the sun. A lifeguard caught my eye. Walking up I waved and gave him a friendly smile.

"Surprised nobody else is around on such a fine day. I hope I am not bothering you away from your job."

The boy gave a lop-sided grin and climbed down, scratching his scraggly blond hair. He makes a motion around. As he does it seems like the beach was starting to have some people walking over it and settling down on blankets.

"Nah. Don't worry about it. People don't usually drown here, and there are no sharks living in these waters."

It just felt so natural to be here, and yet I wondered where my mother was. What could of made her decide I was well enough to come here? I must be really getting better. I certainly felt it.

"This is a wonderful place. I am glad my mother let me come here to recoup. My name is Lillian, what is yours?"

The boy seemed very nervous. It seemed odd. I wasn't the sort for boys to be tongue tied over. I gave him a confused look as he finally managed to stutter out.

"I...I am Craig. Yeah I was lucky to get such an easy job. I always loved the beach. Hey, you feel like maybe getting a soda after my shift. My replacement should be coming soon."

I blushed, I just met the guy and he was already asking for a date?

"I would like that Craig."

I watched as someone came running down the beach, grinning wide at me and Craig. She gave him a little wink and started to climb up the chair at the post. My, that was certainly quick, I thought as Craig took my arm in his.

"Well shall we go?"

I gulped, just managing a slow nod. I felt like I knew this guy all my life. Just what was so familiar about him? I couldn't put my finger on it. We went to a concession stand and he brought us back two drinks.

"I hope you like lemonade."

Pushing the little umbrella, I sipped on the straw. I just happen to love lemonade. Especially pink, which is what he brought me. It must of been just a lucky guess. Time, it seemed to move so slowly. But everything was rushing up to me at once.

"Yeah. So tell me about yourself?"

"Well, I live nearby in a apartment complex. I used to be a football player. It is what my father wanted me to do. But, well I wanted to study to became something great. Right now I am here on vacation."

I nodded a bit, finishing up my drink. Licking my lips looking in his deep blue eyes feeling myself get lost.

"Um, hey I have something at my home I would like to show you. You like seashells? I collect them in my spare time."

I knew I shouldn't follow him, but what did I have to lose. I was going to die soon. It was just a matter of time...

The first thing that drew me in, was the pictures on Craig's wall. All sorts of people. Young and old, male and female. I reached out leaning my finger near one at the end. Something seemed familiar about the old man in the photo.

"Uncle...Louis. What are you doing with this? How do you know him?"

He looked at the photos on the wall, seeming to be pausing to think. My heart raced in my chest. Everyone on the wall sort of gave me an odd feeling of I have seen this person before. Just, what was this place? How did I get here? I didn't remember my mother driving me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the voice of my new friend.

"Oh! Well, Louis was a friend of my fathers. No wonder your name sounded so familiar. He used to go on about you. How he used to tease you with silly jokes. How he loved to hear you laugh."

I smirked a bit. That sounded like my uncle all right. But something seemed a bit off. I didn't remember him ever mentioning Craig.

"It's a small world. So, what's your father's name? He never seemed to mention you."

The boy had a look that suggested he wanted to get off this topic and quick. I had a feeling that he was lying. He must of really known my uncle in some other way he was embarrassed about. Maybe he used to help out in the retirement home, but was to humble to admit it?

"Stan. Um, well they were just told football buddies. They used to toss a few balls around, and drink a few beers. I really wasn't supposed to be around them, because my mother thought they might offer me some alcohol."

Nodding, I sat down on a couch. I never heard my uncle say anything about anyone named Stan either. But, my mother often discouraged him to tell any of his drinking stories around me. Taking a deep breath my nose picked up on a scent of aftershave and a hint of cigar smoke. This place was really making me nervous. As if sensing that, Craig coughed a bit.

"So, you want to see my shell collection?"

Even after the whole awkward first meeting. Me and Craig became an inseparable item. His job as a lifeguard was taken over by the female. He said he felt like he been waiting his whole life to meet me, and didn't want to waste any more time with trivial things. I had to wonder, just how he was making any money. And my room, I guessed mother was paying for it but, there were pictures of people I didn't know scattering up on the walls. All I could think is these people were friends of the family or relatives I have never met.

"Hey, Craig! Since I saw your place what do you think of coming over and checking out mine?"

A grin spread over his face, and he linked up his arm with mine.

"I thought you would never ask!"

Giving him a friendly jab in the ribs, I laughed and led the way.

"How come you didn't ask me? Too much of a gentleman? Seems rather strange for a guy who asks a gal over to his place when they first meet!"

He shrugged.

"Dunno. Just didn't feel very comfortable with asking I guess. I was surprised you just said yes to seeing my house in the first place. I guess you sort of have a feeling you have nothing to lose, eh?"

I sighed as I opened the door, it let out a little creak as I thumped in the room.

"Ya, well you see Craig I am very ill. The doctors say I could die at any moment. I guess since I never had much of a life after I was told of the disease, I just figured what the hell?"

He just got very quiet, and gravitated to my photo collection looking at all of the faces. It looked like he was trying hard to hide some sort of emotion. I started to wish I told his sooner. Who wants to be involved with a dying girl? Sure I felt so much better since I got here but...

"Um, look Lily? I know this is going to sound bad but I need to get home. I will see you at the beach tomorrow, promise."

I really didn't expect to see him again, but something drew me to the beach just hoping I might see him again. Just as promised, he was there having a loud discussion with some other buff brown haired boy. As I neared they became quiet. Instead of wandering off like most people did when I came to speak to Craig, this guy just stared at me with a strange look on his face.

"Hey there cutie, so your the one that Craig is all riled about. You should be careful lady. He's a real heart breaker!"

My friend looked like he had been crying. Was it over me? He couldn't bear the thought I was going to die? I frowned feeling my heart ache. He pushed the other boy and made a face.

"This jerk is Kevin. He thinks all the women are going to swoon just by looking at him! We been buddies since third grade but, he always seems to try and steal every single freaking girl I like. But, I don't think he will succeed this time!"

I blushed deeply.

"Craig you...are you in love with me?"

Kevin looked at me and laughed.

"The guy is gone over you. I had the toughest time getting him to admit he had an eye on someone new here! I could tell by that stupid goofy look and how he kept rushing off whenever I said hello. Hey, what you guys think of a little get together at my place?"

I didn't like the idea. But Craig has this weird look on his face begging me to go. Seemed odd when this Kevin guy was supposed to be a girlfriend stealer and...I was the one that he thought of as that now. I followed them. It seemed like this guy had a photo collection too. I gulped as I looked over the line of faces, finding one picture of this girl I knew in school.

"Why do you have a picture of Samantha here?"

Kevin walked over looking at the photo, seeming to be quicker to explain than Craig was about the picture of Uncle Louis.

"She was my cousin. The poor kid died in a fire a few years ago. She used to talk about this girl she liked. Lily Anne? She told me that she used to tease and pull her hair, since she had trouble to tell this girl that she wanted to be her friend. Most of the other kids thought this Lily person was just a joke."

I frowned, it was like a jab in my heart.

"That...was me. I thought Samantha was just a jerk like everyone else who used to tease me."

This place, was just weirding me out more. I had to get out of here! I ran back to my place, staring at the photos on my wall. They all seemed familiar to me. This place was much more than just a beach retreat. I could barely think. I decided to go to sleep and hope that the answers would come to me tomorrow...

The last couple of days I flitted into anyone's house who grabbed my attentions. They didn't seem too surprised. Always one photo on the wall stood out. I knew them. I couldn't stand it anymore. It seemed like all of those people in the pictures I knew had died somehow.

I returned back home. These photos were all of people I didn't know but they all seemed familiar to me somehow. I wanted to see Craig so badly. He was my anchor in this confusing world.

I went to his house, knocking on the door which creaked open by itself. That was very strange. I meandered slowly inside calling out his name, but there was no answer.

I felt strong hands resting over my eyes. I didn't think Craig was the type to play a joke like that. But, who else would be in his house? It must be Kevin. The guy seemed to be a pest that you couldn't get rid of.

"Very funny, where is Craig?"

The hands moved from my face, and Kevin peered over my shoulder.

"Ah, nuts. I can't fool you. Craig, well he had to leave on business."

I shook my head. As far as I knew this place really had no business. Sure, people seemed to do jobs but I never had a pay a dime for any services. I thought that my mother supplied me money but she had never called me, or wrote any notes to me.

"Right. What's the real story? His dad heard about me and decided I wasn't good enough for his son because I am not a cheerleader or something?"

Well, I was just kind of kidding around. I doubted Craig would go with something like that. I had a feeling he was in trouble and here I am making jokes.

"Um. I can't tell you. I think you will figure things out sooner or later. I thought you already knew what this place was, and why you were here..."

I shook my head. All I knew as I was really sick before I came here. I felt so alive and healthy. My jaw dropped and I started to run everything I learned swirling in my head. I yelled back to Kevin.

"I need to be alone!"

Never had I run so much. I wanted to get away from the truth. I was dead. This place was heaven? Certainly -not- what I expected. No angels. And some people acted like jerks. As soon as I reached the shoreline, I sat down and cried. Then, I wondered where did Craig go? And why did people have pictures of people I knew in the past on their walls? How did they know so much about them.

I curled up and shivered with the thought that slipped into my mind. Those photos, where them in past lives. Craig left, because he was going to be reborn!

I might not ever see him again. I sat there sobbing feeling myself drowning in tears. I loved Craig so much. If there was a God, why did he take him away so soon? It didn't seem fair. Heaven wasn't supposed to be a sad place. Screaming at the air I threw sand and rocks and shells around.

"I hate you God! I died before I could have a life. I found love and it was ripped away. It's not fair!"

I felt someone placing a hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was before even looking. I wanted to punch Kevin in the face but I thought if there was a God, he would punish me more if I did hit him.

"Lily...Listen to me. There is a reason for everything that happens. Life is a learning experience. Some times in life, everything goes wrong. You die too young. But in the next one...you have a chance to make things right. Being Lily wasn't all bad was it? You met folks you cared about. Coming here, is a way to see them again and be able to relax in comfort and health. Some people stay here for a long time. Others, they find out the truth in only a few days and decide to return."

I sighed and tossed a rock, knowing yelling at God wasn't going to get me anywhere. I wanted to be with Craig again so badly. But would he remember me in his new life? I might not be even born in the same state and country he was.

"I wanna live. I want to see Craig. But how?"

Kevin sighs a bit.

"When you are ready, you will return to Earth. By what he told me I am guessing you two will meet each other again. Probably as relatives. Or as love."

I took his hand.

"Are you coming too?"

With a nod he squeezed my hand, and we both slipped into the world of the living.

-

Sarah and Hanna sat on the bed getting ready for another grueling day at school. Fraternal twins, best friends despite glaring differences. They often had sisterly spats, but it didn't mean anything.

Sarah played with a lock of her curly black hair staring at her sister with begging green eyes. She had worked so hard in her cheer leading routine. She knew Hanna hated sports and never had she came to watch any games. Sarah had become the head cheerleader and wanted to show off. She had came to watch plenty of those boring chess games that Hanna was in. It didn't seem fair.

"Please Hanna! I know you hate football. Just come for a little bit to watch me cheer. Who knows maybe you might see your dream guy!"

Hanna frowned combing her brown hair back into a neat bun. She wasn't interested in football, yet her sister had come to many events that she participated in she knew that Sarah didn't care about. She sort of owed her sister one.

"Fine, I will come and watch you. Man, what in the hell am I going to wear? None of my outfits really fit this activity!"

Sarah digs around taking out a pink cardigan, and some white pants and threw it on the bed. She wasn't going to let her sister have any excuse not to go.

"Here wear this. At least it will keep you warm if nothing else."

Hanna made a face. She hated that sweater. She didn't know what had made her buy it. She knew the look on her sister's face. She better do what she said or she might play a prank on her or something. She sighed and went to take a shower and put on the disgusting outfit.

"I hope your happy sis!"

Sarah squealed and hugged her, making a face at the bun and starts to pull it apart. Hanna sighed knowing that her sister got it into her to do a makeover, and there was nothing she could do to stop her!

"There don't you look just fab!"

Hanna felt like she was looking at a stranger in the mirror. She closed her eyes, starting to see something flash at the back of her mind. A girl leaning up on a balcony, her hair in the wind. She gulped and shook the image away feeling rather sick to her stomach.

She sat in those stupid seats, watching her sister jump around and make pyramids with the other cheerleaders.There was a boy who caught her eye. Usually the jock types didn't really do much for her but there was a glimmer of intelligence in his eyes. One that seemed to be snuffed out.He seemed uncomfortable on the field, like he much rather be doing something else. He seemed so familar. She closed her eyes, seeing a scene of a beach in her mind. After the game she would try and talk to him. She had a feeling he wouldn't be a jerk to her.

"Um hello there. That was a good game."

The boy gave me a weird look and tossed up the ball.

"Um, we lost if you didn't notice!"

Hanna blushed and looks down.

"Well you played well. I really don't know much about football. I hate the sport. My sister Sarah dragged me to watch her cheer.'

He laughs, putting the ball down on the ground.

"Yeah, I hate football too. But my dad wants me to be a pro football player! I stink at it. I hope maybe if he sees how rotten I am he won't make me play it anymore."

Hanna laughs and smiles relaxing.

"You should just tell your pop to take a hike. Do what you want to do. Your old enough to figure out what you want in life. You seem pretty smart to me."

He sighed a bit kicking at the ball.

"I would like to. But after my mom died. Dad really got depressed. All he does is mope, and drink,and yell at me to play football!"

Hanna shook her head.

"That's awful! I think your dad could use a girlfriend. My mom knows lots of single people she is always trying to set up. Oh, um my name is Hanna. What's yours?"

"Westley. Humm maybe I will take a use of your mother's dating service. I can't stand my father anymore!"

They left arm and arm, chatting as if they knew each other for centuries.

"Hanna, you seem very familiar to me. Have we met before?"

"I remember a beach. But I feel like we known each other for our whole lives."

Maybe even longer than that...

Is it true we can choose our destiny? That when we are in heaven we can choose who will be our parents, the area we live in?

You would think if that was so, we would choose something better. But life is an experience. Not something perfect. Every turn, we work to learn something new. Some times we die young. Others we live out full well rounded lives.

Sometimes life can get in the way of the best laid plans.

A beach is a nice place to visit. Full of sun and sand. You walk along, with grits in your toe. And maybe with a sunburn after hand. But as you walk the beach, with your friends and family. Everything seems right.