I saw an angel cry today.
Her broken wings hung down by her side, and she was dying.
She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.
But I couldn't help her. I could only pray.
Her wings were faded from white to grey, and they were covered in blood.
She slowly walked through the desert, bleeding and crying.
But this was not an egocentric angel. She did not cry because she was in pain and dying.
She was crying for my sake.
By God, I wanted to lay her in my arms. Comfort her, mend her wounds.
I cried out for her, at least I tried. She smiled at me as she got close.
I tried to shout for her not to do it, but she walked over to me, and touched my cheek.
She leaned over, and planted a kiss on my lips.
I closed my eyes. It was too hard to watch.
Tears kept running down my face.
As her soft lips touched mine, I saw her wings starting to burn. That’s when I closed my eyes.
She was in pain, but she kept kissing me.
I could feel a flame touch my own skin, just above my lip. She was burning alive.
She pulled back from me, so she wouldn't unintentionally hurt me.
I opened my eyes. All I wanted to do was to run over to her, and get her to safety.
She was inflamed, but she was just as beautiful.
But soon, I couldn't see her anymore. The flames were all over her.
She didn't scream or twitch. She just stood there, until she finally fell to her knees.
As she was standing on her knees, she blew me a kiss. Then she fell over.
The flames consumed her, and her life.
If I had been a little closer, I'm sure my tears could have put out the fire.
Instead, they just saltened my lips.
Was this really how two former angels were going to die?
I looked down at my hands; they were stuck in their position, hanging by my side.
My feet were unable to move too, and so was the rest of my body.
The rope around my neck was uncomfortable, but I had grown accustomed to it.
I wondered when I was going to disappear. I wondered if she was the same way as I.
Trapped inside an immortal body, unable to move. Dead, but still alive.
All I could move, was my face.
I couldn't speak, but I could blink, look around, and cry.
If I could just die again. If I could go to heaven again, with her.
But we had both been there, done that.
What happened when two angels died for the second time?
My guess was, no one knew.
Maybe we would never die again.
Perhaps we would forever be souls, floating about in no material shape.
Or maybe, we would disappear as our bodies did.
Time will show.
Time did show.
I fell asleep while I was hanging there.
When I awoke again, I felt a weird feeling inside. A feeling I couldn't identify.
Everything was dark, I couldn't see anything.
My first thoughts were that my eyes had stopped functioning, like the rest of my body.
But suddenly, I stopped thinking altogether.
My mind went blank, and a weird feeling oozed over me again, as all my memories suddenly disappeared.
Now I just existed. I did not think, and I did not even dream.
Suddenly, a blinding light hit my eyes.
I started crying... where was I, why?
Someone was holding me, carefully wrapping me into a piece of cloth.
Someone else was cutting the cord that was hanging from my stomach.
I was terrified and could not stop crying. Blood covered my little body.
An exhausted-looking woman was waving at me, smiling.
And then it all went blank again.
Years later, I was all grown up again.
I was now known as Mark, a successful actor at the local theatre.
Distinguished by the mark above my lip, looking like a dark flame.
I was loved by many, and I should have been happy. But inside, I was empty.
It was as if I was longing for something. Something I needed to be fulfilled.
One night, I was standing on stage.
Light was shining at me, and I was performing my monologue.
I gazed at the audience, to see how they reacted.
And there, in the middle of the crowd, there she sat.
She was beautiful, and in the flash of a light, all my past memories returned.
I remembered how we had been in love in heaven. How we had died again. Separated.
Tears rolled down my face as I fell onto the floor.
I wanted to get up, I wanted to go to her.
But the memories were consuming me. It was too much to handle all at once.
I twitched in pain, as the memories of another lifetime and even a life after death filled my mind.
Hours later, I awoke at a hospital.
The white light hurt my eyes, and I was feeling knocked out.
But now I knew why I was here, I knew what I was missing.
I needed her. She needed me.
I got up from the bed, and ran out of the room.
Still wearing a hospital-gown, I ran out of the hospital.
I got hold of a taxi and drove back to the theatre.
The theatre was empty.
There was no way of tracking her. I had lost her.
I spent my next few months looking around for her.
I stopped acting, only showed up at the theatre to look for her.
My days were filled with internet searching, and asking people about that day at the theatre.
But after months of searching, I was getting nowhere.
And finally, I gave up.
The next years, I spent painting.
The paintings all contained the image of a girl. The same girl at all paintings.
I wanted her back. Not a single day passed without me thinking about her.
But eventually, I burned all my pictures, and decided to leave it all behind me.
However, I failed miserably.
That was all years ago now.
But now, at my deathbed, I want to tell the tale.
I hope I will meet her again sometime, in the next afterlife.
But I fear that I won't even recognise her.
I fear that if I'd meet her today, I would simply pass her, not knowing who she was.
And I know, I will never be fulfilled. Never be completely happy.
I was happy once though.
But that was years ago.
A lifetime.
A contest entry
- Write Me a Story by Stegofreak.
445 points, ended September 2, 2007, 65 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - What can your mind create...take TWO by LostShadow.
600 points, ended September 26, 2007, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING AT ALL, LOSERS! by Springs.
360 points, ended October 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Inspiration From Dreams and Other Options by sugarrrainbow.
225 points, ended July 18, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - From the Realms of Heaven and Hell by H.A.Johnson.
525 points, ended July 29, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Faltered Wings....and Uneven Things..... 2! by Forgotten Tink..
175 points, ended August 24, 2008, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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wow, the beginning hit me with so much ideas and inspiration. I feel like drawing or something, what a kool idea and you write it so well.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I really liked the way you wrote this- it was simple storytelling, but somehow still managed to capture my imagination and attention. I thought the ideas and themes behind this were really original, and liked how the ending just keeps you wondering. It held a lot of emotion, and flowed really well. Good choice of words, because even though it didn't have many detailed descriptions the images of the stories were still very vivid and clear. This was a beautiful story, and I thought you did a really good job.
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I really really liked the idea of the falling, bleeding angel and the fact that she is crying but not for her own sake but for the person she is looking for. I think this is more like a religious feeling that I feel when I read this. Sort of like Jesus dying for us. I really think this is a good read and it definitely kept my interest throughout the entire story. I liked the way you visulized the story and I could really see the angel and her injuries in my minds eye. Good job!
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I very much enjoyed the fact that it did not end happily as I expected it to be. It was more realistic that way. Because the story got me hooked, I kind of wanted a bit more elaboration. I also liked the length of the story because it wasn't a tedious read, But I think that the length sacrificed content because I think that so much more could be said. Maybe if it was going to be this short, I think that every sentence should be worded in such a way that no more could be said because the thought seemed very complete.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading this because of your creativity and the rich imagery in this story. I love descriptive stories and you have really captured my taste.
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Wow!
I loved this story, it was absolutely heart wrenching.
It was a great idea, and really well written. I liked how the words almost looked like a poem.
Wonderful!
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BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought it was really cool how the angel was reincarnated as a baby, a new life. You are a really good storyteller.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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O.U.T.S.T.A.N.D.I.N.G.
Realy good, I love dark things. I love writing about vampires, mythical creatures, immortal beings etc. I loved your story about the angels, i wonder why they were dying in the beginning.But anyway . . . SUPERB!!!!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Brilliant
This was an amazing write, congratulations. There was a power in this unlike anything I've ever felt. It takes a very good writer to make someone feel that way. You've got a gift. I didn't see anything wrong with it. Just a couple of things that could have been worded differently, but were fine the way they were. Thanks for an amazing read. Good Luck on future works.
-Gito
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 5.
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aww....i love it it's so sad!
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aww....i love it it's so sad!
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seriosly i was holding a hand full of tissues in my hand- it was so heart wrenching so sad and so powrfully written with simplicty and emotion ... absoloughtly astounding
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wow
this just held so much emotion and so many feeling. It was really beautiful, but so sad, and I hope the angel in the story does meet her again in heaven
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wow, this is really... enchanting. a beautiful write. great work
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Wow I haven't read any of your works for ages. Thanks very much for entering this contest. A wonderful entry from a great writer.
I loved the idea of this story. Sad but beautiful and it seemed to hold so much meaning. The ending a wonderful way to end it and the beginning was a great way to open the story. I loved the images that it placed in my head and the detailed descriptions of every character.
Keep up the wonderful work.
Thanks once more for entering.
Emma
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My Verdict
Oh my gosh, that was so sad! I felt so sorry for the angel who was telling the story. The story was sad, but beautiful. I don't know what else to say, but...just keep writing. You are a great writer. You really know how to make the readers feel the emotions, and it felt very sad to me, but will be happy if, "in the next afterlife", as the narrator calls it, he finds that girl again. And recognizes her, of course. -
Wow. That was immensely passionate and lovely. I absolutely loved it! You should write more like this, because it really is so AWESOME. I can't even explain it. Good job!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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wow. if this wasnt so beautifully written id tease you about writing a country song. but the words are beautiful, thus ther will be nothing but awe in this message. great job. really amazing. so moving. the angel that was beautiful. truly amazing.
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This totally reminded me of the song Concrete Angel by Martina McBride. I like that in all I've read of yours, that even though they are all death, romance, and tragedy related they all seem totally differnt. You'd think about reading so much on certain genres the stories would kind of blend together, but not with yours. I think I could read all your posted stories and still not be bored with them.
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Thanks alot, made me smile
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that was sad... poor guy.
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Oh wow...
Very moving. The relationship alone that the characters have is enough to carry the piese.. But the originailty of the situation adn the beatiful imagery just make it .. so much more.
This was really really wonderful.. One of the best things I've read on SW..
Great work.
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beautiful! i love this! i love how the angel was reborn and how he remembered the girl in his previous lifetime. the tragic ending's perfect. original and amazing, as usual! great job Mads
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Go Mads!! This was a very different type of story than you usually post, and I must say I liked this side of you. Great job as usual
xoxo
Kelsey -
this is my first time seeing your work and i must say very moving, i like how you managed the scant prose so that it was almost like poetry but not quite. and the romance wasn't overtly sentimintal, yay!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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This was really different and interesting. Your description was really good, it was like watching a picture come alive.
It was an interesting idea, pretty neat that when he died he came back as a baby. But for me it was clearly fictional, for I don't believe that angels die. I don't believe that they become humans either, and why would they leave heaven? Its such a wonderful place.
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I remember this...
*dances because you posted this FINALLY*
*stops dancing because her notes betrayed her and did not inform her that this was posted*
Anyway... Fallen Angels are lovely. You weaved a tale that just put so much depth to these angels that have fallen from grace. I could relate so much with them - I guess it's because we all are beautiful and flawed AND we all fall... or maybe that's just my way of thinking.
I love this, as I've told you before. I'm so glad they were given a second chance to live lives as humans... to love and do things that angels cannot do while being angels.
What was really sad - AND VERY REALISTIC- was that he gave up looking for her... it's something human, to just stop when things do not go our way... perhaps, if he persisted, he would have seen her again. But who knows, maybe this is for their own good.. or maybe he can be happy, WITH HER, in his next lifetime
Thanks for this ^_^
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This was great. I really think this is the best story you've done yet!!!
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'I closed my eyes. It was too hard to watch.
Tears kept running down my face.
As her soft lips touched mine, I saw her wings starting to burn. That’s when I closed my eyes.'
In the first part here you have already closed your eyes, but in the last you closed them again. When did you open them?
'All I could move, was my face.
I couldn't speak, but I could blink, look around, and cry.'
Here again there is a contradiction, you could move your face but you couldn't blink.
This started out as a poem and then turned into a story. In my opinion you should write it all out as a story. Much more detail can be achieved in a story then a poem and I would love this to be expanded.
~*Brooke*~ -
awwwWWWww
..It's like a story and a poem. Well all poem's are like stories . I always wonder where your ideas come from.. WHERE?!? This was so inspiring i feel like drawing or something.. It was beautiful and sad. The image of her kissing him will be engraved in my mind for awhile. Very Creative, as all your stories are.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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