For as long as either of them cared to remember, Lucas and Karen had been friends. Each had always had someone to look out for them, a person they could trust. Lately, however, Lucas had been acting strange.
He had started dressing in darker clothing, and had a habit of zoning out when people talked to him. Even when he actually responded to Karen, he had a strange and distant look in his gray eyes. It scared her.
“Luke?” There was no response. The two friends were sitting on the grass behind Karen’s house, the way they always had every Friday since the 5th grade. Lucas lived just down the street.
Lucas gazed at the gently rippling water of the pond in Karen’s backyard for a moment more. He blinked as he realized that Karen had spoken. “Hmm,” he sighed, glancing at her.
Karen bit her lip, watching her motionless friend with a very worried feeling. “Are you feeling okay?” she tried again. Lucas could hear the genuine concern in her voice, and could almost feel his heart breaking again.
His eyes were downcast, staring at the grass. He wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked slightly. Lucas’s eyebrows drew together, and he closed his eyes as though in pain. “No,” he replied, his response barely audible.
Karen searched his face. She had never seen him like this before. “Do you need to call home?”
Lucas turned his head away as he gave a rueful laugh. “Boy, would that help! If anything, it would just make things worse.” His voice rose in volume and pitch, making him sound almost hysterical. He released a long sigh, and his face softened a little when he looked at Karen’s startled expression. “Thanks, Karen… but that’s not going to work any.”
“Then what will?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know anything anymore… I…” he faltered, feeling a lump forming in his throat. His voice sounded very strange, even to himself.
“What’s wrong? Tell me, Luke, please. I want to help,” she pleaded, beginning to feel desperate. He looked up, staring long and hard at her. Karen was no less beautiful than usual. Her jet-black hair was shimmering in the orange light of the setting sun, casting moving shadows against her perfect face. Her eyes were glassy with forming tears, and her gorgeous lips were slightly parted. Lucas longed to stroke her face.
He sighed again, tearing his gaze from her and forcing himself to look at the pond again. “Karen… I want to kill myself.”
Karen let out a small, strangled sound. “W-why?” she squeaked, struggling not to cry. What had happened to her friend?
“My mom died.” Karen was silent, sensing that Lucas wasn’t finished. “Ever since her funeral, my older brother- you know, Scott?- has been my guardian. And… he keeps getting drunk and taking drugs to get a high… and he hits me.” As though to prove it to her, he gingerly pulled up his sleeve, wincing. A large purple and black bruise the size of Karen’s fist was on Lucas’s forearm.
Karen gently took his arm in her hands, barely touching it with her fingers. How could Scott do this to his younger brother? Lucas suppressed a shudder as her fingers circled his injury. Her cool, soft fingers were immensely soothing.
Holding his hand with her left, she hesitantly reached out and rested her right hand on his shoulder. “Do you really want to?” she asked quietly. She seemed afraid of what his answer might be. When Lucas didn’t respond, she squeezed his shoulder slightly. “Lucas… you have no idea what that would do to me. I’d… I’d fall apart. Please,” she begged, “if for nothing else, keep going for me. Live for me.”
Lucas felt the pressure lessen on his shoulder. Before Karen could pull her hand away, his own caught it and held it there. He pressed it to his arm again, his eyes closed, memorizing the feel of it there. “I will,” he managed to say, his voice dripping with emotion.
“Promise,” Karen choked out, a single tear rolling down her pale cheek. A sob escaped her.
Lucas opened his eyes, and their eyes met. For what seemed like a lifetime, they gazed into each other’s souls. Their faces were tantalizingly close.
Lucas couldn’t take it anymore. He slowly leaned forward, touching his lips to hers. He heard her take a deep breath through her nose, then felt her mouth respond to his. As they kissed, Karen’s arms went around his neck, and she clung to him. Lucas wrapped his uninjured arm around her and leaned back, lying on the grass. Lucas had waited so long to kiss her. Karen slowly pulled away, but they were still holding each other. Their faces were just inches apart.
“Promise,” Karen repeated, slightly breathless. Lucas raised his hand and brushed away the tear that had escaped during their kiss.
“I promise, I’ll live for you,” he breathed, and he lifted his head to meet hers. “I love you, Karen,” he whispered against her mouth.
“I love you, too…”
Author notes
I don't think I've ever written anything like this before, but I like it. If you think it's bad, tell me, so I can fix it! If you liked it, then I am honored.
A contest entry
- "Here's Looking at You Kid" by katiefran.
400 points, ended May 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Im Not Scared. by asthray.heart.
1000 points, ended May 17, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Totally You by sly fox.
350 points, ended July 30, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Love Is In the Air! by lexiconsthedevil.
125 points, ended October 3, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Join a book! by Keir.
230 points, ended November 14, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Trophy Contest by whichcraft.
220 points, ended December 29, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me a kiss! by Mazzon.
400 points, ended January 16, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I LOVE YOU by taylor-swift13.
145 points, ended March 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme, gimme, gimme your best Poems & Stories! by Zerstort.
185 points, ended July 17, 2008, 95 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Pack a punch!! by Kirin.
275 points, ended October 9, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Was it realistic? Were you interested?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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wow this is amazing. i almost cried when luke said he wanted to kill himself.
really sweet and so realistic!
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This is amazing, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for entering.
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This was really good. I could feel the emotion in it. You bring it out well. It almost made me want to cry. Good job
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This is so sweet and its so good. Loved it.
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Rather nice, and realistic. I can't help paying attention to how in paragraph two, there's a mention of Lucas starting to wear darker clothes. That speaks of still paying attention to appearances, and a conscious decision to try and look depressed. Which, in turn, hints of a typical teenage case of suicidal tendencies as a way of begging for attention and help. Which, in this story, he gets.
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this is really good... but if he was being beaten, wouldn't he have more than one bruise? just curious
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Woah. Awesome. I can relate to this too...cept that..my "Lucas" just totally SHUTS me OUT. I was really quite miserable, before long I was depressed MYSELF. That is until I convinced myself that I must put limits in relationship with other ppl. Seriously, you'd fall part. Good job.
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wow this is great! i have a good feeling withthis one in my contest! i can really relate to it!
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Wow
Now that is one romantic story. It kept me on the edge of my seat and I wanted to finish the story cause I wanted to know if he was going to do what I was hoping he was going to do. Great write.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Emotional. Grand, just grand. The story sucks the readers in and holds them there. But it ended too soon as others have stated, and if you have written another part or are going to, please, let me know.
There's nothing that needs to be fixed.
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LOVE IT
This was awesome! Now I really understand where the second story came from, "A Kiss to Make it Better." You write very good stories. This would be a good young adult series. You should try to get it put into a young adult book. There are so many things that relate to the young adults in this day and age that is covered in your stories. Wonderful work.
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awwwwww.......this was good
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This is amazing! i've never been able to write something like this. i was worried for a second that it might get cheesy or canned, but it stayed fresh. great job!
~belowit
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“I will,” he managed to say, his voice dripping with emotion.
An amazing line, heart wrenching and so what it says...full of emotion to the brim!!!
This was too damn short and I am gonna have to demand more now I think, this was sooo damn good please tell me if you have done more.
The wording and the emotion and the way it all comes together and their feelings for each other the way he lives for her its all just soo ahh...its just plain excellent...
*cough cough* hmm well yes will take some composure now...
Perfect work and I am glad you entered in
Good luck and superb job. Thanks for entering.
Lady Madeline.
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Wow! This was great! I loved it. Totally fitted what the contest wanted too! I hope you win! You totally deserve to... but then again I haven't read the other entries... but anyway Good job! I love your writings so keep on writing!
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It's so short... I wanted more What I did read though, was absolutely amazing. I'll admit I almost cried when hhe said he wanted to kill himself. Excellent job and I hope you get gold in that contest! Good luck!
~Kevan~ -
this is....amazing. i honestly got sucked in while i was reading it. i was sad when i reached the end because there wasn't anymore!
so sweet, so well done, so good!!!!
thanks for entering my contest, and good luck! -
Awww, that is so sweet! *twirls*
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i loved this!! very, very well written! so sad and sweet.. amazing job!! keep writing!
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I really enjoyed this! You should so continue it ;D
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I LOVED it!!!!! It was awsome!!! It made me want to read more!!!!! Keep writing nicely done I so loved it!!!
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