Addiction

Awake for hours on end, sleep a distant memory. One day blending, barely noticed, into the next and the next. Soon the ability to distinguish one event from another is no longer much of a valid choice. Everything is in a fuzz, swirling around unformed, reality is a constant case of chaos. Hopeful choice to end the confusion, abandoning the dangerous companionship that leads, yet the struggle to do so is more of a fight than is the acceptance of an addicts downfall.
Getting high is the part that seems good, the rush, and the energy it can give to you. As long as you have a supply, money to get some, a little more as the high starts to fade, you will be alright. But when everything is done, all of your money is gone, your run begins to catch up to you and you know your heading for a fall. Coming down is what leads to the destructive and desperate acts, especially if you are one who fiends. All else is ignored, nothing matters but getting more, once again flying high.
When this point is reached, life as it has ever been known to you, no longer is to be. Reality is obscured by the need with in you, even as you know not to return to the game, it’s power and control is overwhelming. No longer a simple thrill, but a constant urge, dangerously close to completely destroying what little there is left of your life. A one time thing, to an occasional treat, now a war forever waged. Trying to over come, or at least to fend off for one more thankful day.
Never to be rid of the urge, the want, the desire to once again flood your body with its chemicals. The reminders, a simple piece of cotton, a light bulb, or a straw can be. How they can suddenly release the damning sickness that is yours to battle for all eternity, bravely not giving in to it, even as you do occasionally slip and end up relapsing. This is when your strength and dedication to your self are needed as incentive, as justification to supply unneeded, but necessary, reason to once again rise above the powers of active addiction. No matter how long you are clean, it not tainting your body, it is never any easier. You can not destroy this enemy, for it has deceived you for so long already, all you can do is refuse to believe in its well-hidden lies. This can only be done moment to moment, by living one day at a time. Not overwhelming yourself by looking to far ahead. Today is what you face, it is all that can matter, search for the strength for now to survive this one simple day in time.