And all because the lady loves

Dear Diary, today is the first work day after the holidays, 1

everybody is geared up to break the chain of long lies, lazy days 2

and overeating, and I ate like a horse day in day out, my bulging 3

waste can testify to that! Holidays are great, everyone loves 4

them. Especially Christmas, it is full of fun, love and most of 5

all Magic, but all good things have to come to an end, well, 6

temporarily anyway.7

So today my day started at3 am! That early? you might ask, but, 8

when your lying in bed, sheets saturated with sweat dripping off 9

your whole body, temperature as high as a kite and heart and pulse 10

racing like a kangaroo on heat, it is very hard to sleep. And 11

when unfortunately it is caused not through the throws of 12

passion., but the rotten Flu virus, it can make life bloody 13

miserable. 14

I had fed myself bowls of Chicken soup loaded with garlic all 15

night long, right up until bedtime and was beginning to feel kind 16

of sick with it, I think my husband Jack was sick after he kissed 17

me, I thought I heard someone throwing up in the bathroom as I 18

almost sneezed my head off. Well, when I think of it, there was 19

twelve cloves in it, for God sake! 20

Since coming to bed I had done nothing but toss and turn. It was 21

like that the whole night, tossing and turning, sweating... 22

throwing the covers off...shivering...pulling the covers back on…23

Sweating… throwing the covers back off… "What in the name of God 24

are you up to?" Shrieked Jack! 25

"Norry bout nat,Jack , its nis notten nold, feelin minneramle" I 26

blurted out pathetically. 27

"Oh, right?" he said, falling back into a deep sleep. 28

"Nastard, you wait" I whispered to myself, selfish !***! How 29

uninterested can you get? I thought trying hard not to cry as I 30

felt more and more sorry for myself, till at last I drifted off 31

to sleep.32

…………………………..33

7am, wakened up with stuffed up sinuses, sneezing every 10 34

seconds. Jack fell out of bed with moans of “ knackered , hardly 35

slept, you never kept still for a minute the whole 36

night long, it was like being on a roller coaster… Effs sake!” 37

“Oh! How Nu feeling narling? don’t fwamp me wim that much 38

nympathy, please” I moaned sarcastically back at him39

“I‘m only kidding sweetheart , you go back to sleep for an hour, 40

I know your minneramle” he said.Mimicking my blocked nose. “ I‘ll 41

look after the pets, will bring your breakfast up when you want it 42

as well, is that ok?” . He said! Kissing my hot brow. 43

“Oh and by the way, I will phone in sick for you as well, I have 44

an extra day anyway so I’m ok”45

“Great, nanks a lot , Knew you nwere nind at neart. ” I squeaked 46

over the razor in my throat, as I turned back over and snuggled 47

up . Zonk!. 48

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz49

………………………….50

12.00 …Wakened up with Tora, our dog banging the door opened , 51

wondered if there had been an earthquake or something, there has 52

been a few in Scotland recently, I remembered. 53

“What in the name”? 54

“Its ok, don’t worry its me and the dog … and your favourite 55

breakfast / lunch. Eggs and bacon, and tea, enjoy” he said 56

leaving my tray on the bed and vanishing out of sight. 57

Oh, this smells great, I thought to myself, realising that my 58

sense of smell was back a bit, must have been that Garlic soup, 59

good for something after all. 60

I was just about to get stuck into my breakfast when Tora, my 61

dog , (whom I had forgotten about in my oversized glee about the 62

breakfast, jumped up onto my bed and knocked my tray all over the 63

place, eggs and bacon stuck to my new bed mat and my fresh nightie 64

soaked. God Damm it!65

Got up and changed the bed mat and got back into bed to eat what I 66

had salvaged from my breakfast fluff an all.67

………………………….68

12.15pm Got up to go for a shower and nearly fell over my two 69

cats, Tootsie and Tiger. I watched those two stretching and 70

purring contentedly, slowly browsing over to their dinner dishes 71

on the landing. “God! They’re so laid back, wouldn’t it be 72

great?” I nodded to Jack on the landing.73

“ Yes it would” he said! Adding, “You get yourself onto the couch 74

in the living room, stay out of draughts, in fact why don’t you 75

leave the shower out at the moment”? 76

“No, I’m going to freshen up,” I said! brushing my lips across 77

his, “ see you soon” 78

………………………….79

12.45pm I was washed and changed into fresh PJ’s and down the 80

stairs. Looking forward to lying about on the couch , letting 81

Jack do for me, even got to watch my favourite programmes while he 82

was in the house, “what’s that about”? 83

…………………………84

3.o’clock Its raining cats and dogs outside and the wind is 85

howling. Boy am I glad to be indoors.86

“What, you up to Jack, are you there?87

“ I’m here Chrissie , making our dinner for tonight, but I have 88

to run to the shops for some Garlic for the Bolognese, you must 89

have used the lot of it for your soup,”90

“Get me some juice when your there?” I asked!91

“I’ll try and remember it, got ingredients for dinner to get , I 92

mean I’m only a man, aint that right? See ya later” Jack winked as 93

he went out the door into the torrential rain, “ Must be love?” 94

He shouted his arms in the air as he looked back over his 95

shoulder at me sprawled on the couch. 96

“Mmm” I smiled cuddling my duvet. 97

…………………………..98

3.25pm. “Boy” …I thought, “Its great to get the house to myself 99

for a wee while, can do what I want with the telly, any channel I 100

want.” I was getting right into the latest episode of Desperate 101

Housewives, when my new found haven was interrupted by the 102

pets playing chases all over the house . “Tora leave the cats 103

alone, stop bullying them” I shouted, 104

“ For goodness sake stop it” I cried as I watched Tora skid on my 105

new rug and crash right into the glass display unit in the 106

corner, smashing some of the ornaments. 107

“Oh… God” …Jacks mum bought them for us…he will go mad”… “You wait 108

you will be disowned”. I shouted at a disgruntled looking dog 109

flying by me on her way out the living room door. 110

I spent the next 15 minutes tidying up the mess, saying goodbye to 111

the end of my much loved programme. “Pets, who would have them”112

It was when I sat back down on the couch that I noticed the time… 113

…………………………114

4.25pm . And he still isn’t back yet, wonder what’s keeping him. 115

That rain is lashing outside and the wind is howling, gale force, 116

the met man says 70MPH, God sake, that’s all that pollution, 117

affecting the ozone layer, its our own stupid fault!. My thoughts 118

prattled inside my head, anxiously worrying about Jack. 119

“Where in the name of God is he?” I shouted out loud as the front 120

door flew open and Jack fell in the door, arms full of groceries 121

and soaked to the skin.122

“What a day, the streets in town are flooded and the traffic is 123

crawling, so that is what kept me” He blurted out as he put the 124

food on the kitchen table and grabbed at the towel I handed him. 125

“Oh jack, your soaked through” 126

“Oh, I’ll be ok, you go sit down and I will get the dinner on” 127

“But…”128

“ Do as your told, go on.. I want a sleep tonight…129

“Ok” I said quietly “ Thank you”…130

…………………………131

5.45pm “…Wake up Chrissie, dinner is ready, come on sleepy head” 132

I rubbed my eyes and looked at the beautiful meal Jack had made133

“ I must have nodded off, this looks delicious, not just a pretty 134

face after all ?”135

“Mmm “do you know what I’ve been through?” Jack said laughing” and 136

all because the lady loves“……..he added . 137

…………………………138

6.45pm. “The meal was beautiful, Jack even did the washing up 139

while I lay on the couch lapping up the comfort and the pampering 140

being showered on me by my adoring husband.141

Jack forgave Tora for breaking the ornaments , “ Never was keen on 142

them” he said! Clapping her, “ You did me a favour”143

We watched all my favourites on the telly and even found a re-run 144

of Desperate Housewives on E3. 145

I savoured it as Jack fell sound asleep, done out after his busy 146

day. 147

…………………………148

12.00 midnight. “Wake up Jack, its time for bed, are you ready?” 149

“AAA….tishoo , Nwat? NBedtime? Narent we in bed nyet? Jack 150

snuffled. 151

“Oh dear! We are in for another night of it, by the sounds of 152

it?” “You this time Jack, you poor soul”153

Never mind I will look after you darling” I said helping my knight 154

in shining armour up the stairs.155

“Will go and put on the garlic soup, that will sort you out” 156

…………………………157