My name is Kulnak. I am a General in the Vampire army. I belong to the only army of vampires,the Dredhar . For many years we have been at war with the Narguls , a strange deadly kind that are half spider , half orc. It all started over territory. We had found a new patch of land , a new patch of land that was said to be sacred. Of course, news travelled of our new discovery and the Narguls quickly came on the scence. Now the war is beyond belief , thousands of Dredhar are dieing at the hands of the Narguls. The Narguls can not die as long as their Lord is alive. As long as he breathes air we can not kill a single Nargul , only knock them out. Me and my noble men , Jusper , Larten , Burracha and Hulka are about to undertake a deadly task that is almost certain to end in failure to go and kill the Nargul Lord.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very good. although im not much into vampires
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vampires are awesome...is there more to this?
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yes chapters 1,2,3,4,
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You know insted of using the word "orc" I think it might be better if you could develop a new kind of creature name. I liked this and it's a good start. keep it up!
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Way to lose faith so early in the game, this has promise but if you are into this kind of genre.
Nice work and keep it up, I'll check out the next one. -
hmmm
not really my type of reading, but it sounds ok. I'll read the next part and see if I like it. But it does sound pretty good. good job!
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Hmm. Interesting concept, I'll give you that. Mind that you watch for spelling and grammar errors, though. Anyway, it's a start.
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there are some typing errors... you might want to spellproof it... But I think this introduction is quite interesting,(although it reminds me of loads of stories ressembling this)... names of characters should start with a capital letter... Instead of writing the final sentence with a 'T' from To, merge it with the ... to end in failure; to go and kill the Nargul Lord.
This one's better
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