Kookaburra (formerly untitled) Ch.TWENTY

“So where are we going?”

“Callum’s.”

“And who’s Callum?”

“My irresponsible shit of a brother.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yes, recently rediscovered after not seeing him for five years.”

“Oh, fun.”

“Yup.” I try to ignore the stares I’m getting from the other people on the bus. I’m painfully aware of the fact that Kaden is a shade of white rarely achieved by corpses, and my hair is sporting at least a week’s build-up of grease. There’s an old lady right across from us who looks uncomfortable enough to move. Only two more stops, I tell myself, though in truth, I have no idea where Callum lives. I’m just trying to remember my journey there, telling the part of my brain telling me this is impossible to fuck off. I’m glad I chose the aisle seat, because honestly, I think by now I’d be whacking my head off the window.

“Scott…”

“What Kay? What now?” I say, probably too loudly.

“Why… why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You know… that,” he says, waving his hands for emphasis. “At the hospital, why did you do it?”

“Because you need to live, Kay. You need to eat junk food, stay up all night watching crappy movies, only stopping in-between to make more popcorn, play video games until your thumbs bleed. You need to do all that stuff. Hell Kaden, when was the last time you climbed a bloody tree? Your efforts out of the hospital window were appalling!”

“Gee, thanks a bunch,” he says, slightly bitterly.

“Hey,” I say, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I was joking, come on. I just… I don’t think you’ve seen everything there is to see, that’s all. And I want to show it to you.”

He smiles. “I’m so glad I have you.”

“The skies are blue,” I murmur, and we both smile at the memory.

“And if life seems absurd, what you need is some laughter…”

***

I knock on the door hopefully. Please let it be right, I will. This has to be Callum. The door swings open suddenly. I jump back away from it. Callum stands before me looking slightly dishevelled.

“You…” he mutters, pushing greasy bangs of hair behind his ear. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“Cal, I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t fucking apologise to me, I don’t need your fucking apology. Just tell me-“ his hand shoots up, twisting round my collar, pulling on my neck until my face is close enough to his to feel his breath, hot on my skin, “-just tell me where the Hell you’ve been, because I swear to God Scott, I swear to God-“

There’s a noise behind us, a faint cough. I see Callum’s eyes flick over my shoulder, and I know they’re burning holes through Kaden.

“This is him, isn’t it?” he says, his hand still tight around the bunched fabric of my shirt, “this is him, that guy you fucked over and landed in hospital. You brought him here. You brought him back to my fucking home.”

“Hi,” says Kaden, stepping forwards from behind me, “I’m Kaden.”

There’s a painful silence. Callum ignores Kay’s outstretched hand, staring into his face, into his intense green eyes.

“Get in the apartment,” mutters Cal, finally letting go of my collar and shoving me through the door. Kaden follows, keeping surprisingly calm. As soon as we’re in, Callum swings the door shut and strides towards us. I shrink back, expecting for him to yell at me, fixing my eyes to the floor.

“Do you know what you’ve fucking done to him?” he yells. I look up, a gleaming apology ready on my tongue, and see his gaze glued on, not me, but Kaden. “He’s been a fucking wreck! What the fuck did you do to break the best kid I know, what did you do to him?”

“He was already broken. It just took love to notice.” I’m surprised at how firm Kaden’s voice is, how smoothly confident the words dripping out of his mouth are.

“Don’t fucking tell me how to look after him, my own brother!”

“Your brother? That’s rich, considering that from what I hear you haven’t even lived in the same house, haven’t even spoken for years.”

“I still know him better than you! You only know the fag version, I know the real Scott, the real him, I’ve known him all my life!”

“Is that all you take me for, Cal? Some ‘fag’?” I speak up for the first time in the argument.

“Scott, that’s not what I-“

“Look, forget that. Think whatever the Hell you want. Just tell me if we can stay or not. It doesn’t matter if we can’t, after all, I’m sure Bert has some contacts on the street, and he shouldn’t be too hard to find. I’m sure we can find a place with one of them…”

“You can stay,” says Callum hurriedly, “in the guest room.”

“Thanks,” I say, and pull Callum into the bedroom.

***

“Are you gonna tell me what all that, all this, is about?”

“It… it’s a long story.”

Kaden glanced at the door. “I guess we have time.”

I sigh. “I don’t know where to begin with… everything.”

“Then don’t begin. Just talk.”

I sigh again. “So, right, we were – you were in the- in the hospital, and I’d just buggered off and left you like the bastard I really am, only, I didn’t really go, because I only really made it to the car park, and there was a phone box and a number directory, so I just thought, what the Hell, and I – I phoned Cal, because I just needed someone. Only that didn’t quite work out because he decided to be a bastard and I ended up screaming down the phone at him and hanging up and punching the wall, which hurt like Hell, so then I had to get my hand bandaged and crap. Then I really just want to leave, to go somewhere, anywhere, but I needed someone to sign me out. So I had to phone Dad, only he’s a dickhead so I phoned Cal too then I wasted a few nights here but then Bert gave me some Ketamine or some other shit and I blacked out and Cal and Bert left and then I came to the hospital again and saw you then we came here and all that shit happened and… and… yeah.”

“Uh… huh,” says Kay, one eyebrow raised.

I smile. “You look so adorable confused.” I crawl over the floor on my hands and knees until my face is close to his, and peck a kiss against his lips. “It made more sense up here,” I say, tapping a finger against my head.

“I’m sure,” he says, curling his fingers around my wrist. He kisses me again, and I place a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back carefully until we’re both lying on the floor, me on top, entirely lost in each other. Kaden’s hand is tickling up and down my side. I smirk into his kiss, and barely hear the door open.

“Scott, I – oh shit. I’ll come back later.” Callum leaves again before I even have a chance to see his face, which I’m sure is the epitome of bewilderment. I sit up giggling.

“Way to ruin the mood,” says Kaden, trying hard at a pout but ruining it by almost smirking.

“Well, we probably couldn’t have done… anyway…”

“Yeah, I guess. Shouldn’t you go see what he…”

“Let’s leave it a few minutes, I say, grinning.

“Give him something to sweat about,” he says, grinning back.

“Of course.”

***

“Hey Callum!”

He jumps, and turns around to face me. “Scott! Um… hi! Sorry about… yeah. That.”

“That’s okay,” I smile, almost pleased at how uncomfortable I’ve made him. “What did you want?”

“I… it’s not important.”

“You dragged me away from Callum for something that’s ‘not important’?”

Callum rubs a hand over his forehead. “Dude, please.”

“Sorry,” I grin again.

“Look, I just… it doesn’t matter. Go back to your loverboy.” I turn and start to walk back again when I hear Callum call my name. I turn. “Condoms are in the top drawer of the bed side table.” I roll my eyes and walk back to the room.

“What did he want?” says Kaden from his sitting place on the bed as soon as I’ve closed the door.

“Nothing important,” I say truthfully, “now where were we?”

Kaden doesn’t waste a moment in pushing himself off the bed and me against the door. His fingers are dancing along my backbone, tickling it oh-so-gently. I raise my arms and let him pull my teeshirt off me. I take advantage of the lull in activity to push him back onto the bed. We kiss again, harder, deeper, and he hooks his index fingers under my waist band.

“No,” I breathe against his lips, “not yet.”

“Aw, but Scotty…” I grin and kiss him pout off.

“Not yet,” I repeat, fiddling with the hem of his teeshirt until he lets me pull it off. I run my hands along his thin chest, over the bones barely covered by flesh.

He’s still tiny. But somehow, he looks a Hell of a lot better.

I trail kisses down his chest, all the way down to his stomach. He twists his fingers up in my hair, practically pleading, “don’t stop, don’t stop”. I fiddle with his belt buckle and he groans underneath me.

“Jesus Christ, just do it,” he mutters. I smile and undo it slowly, hearing a satisfying moan come from Kaden’s beautiful, beautiful mouth. I stroke a finger along his side, telling him he’s perfect, absolutely fucking perfect, while he just shivers and begs me to get on with it. But I can’t help pausing to marvel at the graceful curve of his hips, the way his knuckles show under his tight white skin. And as I kiss down his back bone, pressing gently into his fragile body, he looks so much more beautiful than any Hollywood beauty model.

***

“Cal, can you pass the milk please?”

“Er, yeah,” he says, pushing the carton across the table, avoiding my eyes. I smile at Kaden and squeeze his hand, fingers twisted between his in a way which promises I’ll never let go.

While I experience the first proper meal I’ve had in – well, let’s just say a while, Kaden’s plate lies empty in front of him on the table. My heart can’t resist burning slightly at the longing and disgust pushing from his eyes. I glance at the table, eyeing the cereal boxes.

“You ever had Lucky Charms?”

Kaden’s eyes snap back to me. “What?”

“Have you ever tried Lucky Charms?”

“I…” he looks so cute with confusion painted all over his face, and it takes a lot of self-restraint to resist kissing him right there and then. I’m not quite sure how Callum would react to us two making out in front of him, but I’m guessing the reverberations wouldn’t be good. “I don’t think so.”

I grab a bowl and the box of cereal/. “Well, I think it may be time you did. This is where I start showing you how to live, and I can think of no better beginning than one filled with colourings and E numbers.” I wait until the bowl’s just past halfway full before pushing it in front of him. “Eat,” I command.

He picks up his spoon, poking a marshmallow gingerly before quietly declaring, “I’m not hungry.”

I sigh. “Yes you bloody well are, I know it. I don’t know why you do this to yourself Kay, all I know is that if you don’t stop, you’re going to-“ I pause. I had been thinking kill yourself, but I suddenly doubt the effectiveness of that statement. I try for another one. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to walk out that door right now, and I’ll make a point never to see you again. Ever. So just shut the Hell up about ‘not being hungry’, and eat the damn cereal!”

Kaden stares at me, visibly stunned at my breakfast-fuelled rant. I don’t blame him. I reckon if I were him, I’d look a little like that too right now.

“Eat,” I say again.

He stares at the cereal as if he’s Moses trying to part the sea. Then slowly, he reaches down and pinches a marshmallow between his fingers, raising his hand up, dropping it into his mouth. Screwing his eyes shut he chews, chews, chews, until… he swallows. I smile at him as he opens his eyes, looking at me for praise.

“Thank you,” I say simply, leaning forward and hugging my arms around his neck.

“Loonies,” mutters Callum from across the table as he gets up, bowl in one hand, ‘The Independent’ Magazine in the other.

Let him think we’re insane. Let him think we’ve lost the plot. But I have Kaden. I have Kaden forever, and no-one’s going to take him away from me.