City of Angels

I stood looking out over Los Angeles watching the sun trying to set through the smog. This city must have been beautiful once, but not anymore. Now it was hot, and dirty. I’ve lost my job, my boyfriend, and wrecked my BMW all in one day. Watching the day draw to a close on the top of this building, I shove my hands in my pocket and ask my self for the hundredth time why the hell I ever moved here. City of Angels my ass!1

Beautiful, isn’t it?” 2

Startled, I turn around. I see a man standing behind me smiling. He’s wearing a tie dyed t-shirt and blue bell bottom jeans. A large peace sign hung around his neck. I take in his clothes and unkempt hair and sigh inwardly. Great. A homeless flower child. “Look, I don’t have any money so…”3

“I don’t want your money,” he said. “Like you, I’m here to check out the view.”4

The man walks towards me, and looks out over the edge. “Beautiful isn’t it?” he says again.5

“If you say so.” 6

He looks at me with flashing brown eyes. “Do you have a name, friend?” 7

“I’m Daniel,” I say reluctantly. The last thing I want is to have a conversation with a homeless guy who obviously never quit smoking pot. . 8

“I knew a Daniel once.” That’s it. That’s all he says. I look at him strangely but he is staring at the city below and doesn’t see it. “Look,” I say at last, “I don’t want to be rude but, if you don’t mind, I’d really like to be alone.”9

The man pulls his gaze from the city and stares at me intently. “You are alone. That’s why you’re here isn’t it? You feel alone?”10

My annoyance increases ten fold. “What are you, a shrink?”11

“Not exactly.” 12

The man continues to stare at the city. The sun has dropped below the line of smog and the city is bathed in a temporary red glow. Time for another tactic. “You know, there’s a reason that style went out in the seventies,” I say with an air of contempt.13

“I’m trying to bring it back, but no one listens to me anymore.” He says this with such profound sadness that I nearly burst into tears. I haven’t cried since I was ten. The day my dad left. 14

The man moves closer to the edge. Looking down he exclaims, “Wow! I can see one of my houses from here.” 15

I join him at the building’s edge. The largest structure down there was a run down church building. Even at this distance I can see the condemned sign. “Did you say one of your houses? You must be an actor.” Maybe he was dressed that way to research a movie role.16

He smiles at me again. “More like a director. But like I said, no one listens anymore.” 17

“The movie’s not going well I take it?”18

“No. But there’s always hope.” The man sits on the edge and beckons me to join him.19

“So why are you here on top of the world?” he asks as I join him. I wasn’t in the mood to discuss my problems with a total stranger, but there was something different about this man. Before I knew it I was telling him about Dean, my job, everything.20

“So you’re gay.” He said as I finished. 21

“Yes,” I reply warily.22

“Have you ever read the bible?” 23

“Yes.” Here we go, I thought. I brace myself for what I knew was the impending diatribe. 24

“Don’t believe everything you read.” 25

I’m starting to like this guy. We sit in silence for a while, watching the lights of the city come alive as the sun continues its downward journey. “So what about you,” I ask quietly when I can no longer stand the silence. “Do you have any one special?”26

“There are many,” he replies. “But I really like John and Mary.” 27

‘Tell me about them.”28

“John is the one I love, but Mary is a great woman. She has issues, but then again so do we all.”29

“What happened to them?” 30

“Oh, they’re around here somewhere,” he replies, smiling again. “They like to hang with the people as I do.”31

“Which people?” 32

“My people.” 33

I let it go. The sun had finally disappeared over the Pacific Ocean in the distance. It was time to leave. I stood up. “Well, it’s been real, but I’ve got some packing to do.” 34

“Do you still want to jump?” he asks, looking up at me.35

“I never said I wanted to jump,” I said, becoming annoyed again.36

“No, but you were thinking about it.” 37

He was right, of course. At some level I had been thinking about taking a dive. I look out over the city again. The smog had disappeared with the sun, the heat of the day slowly dissipating. I know it would all be back tomorrow. But, for now, the city shines brightly. “Maybe not” 38

I start to walk away but turn back. “I never caught your name.”39

The man looks at me with his warm, kind smile. “My friends call me Chris.”40

“Huh. I knew a Chris once. He left.”41

“He never left, Daniel. And he never will.” And just like that he was gone. 42

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • seasonsoflove
    September 14

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    Wow. Very deep. I'm going to guess they once knew one another. Am I right??

    Plot: 4
    Language: 3
    Theme: 5
    Brownie points: 4

    Total: 16

    Great job on this. Thank you for entering and keep up the excellence!!

  • sugarrrainbow
    July 8, 2008

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    This was a very cool, little piece.
    I enjoyed Chris, he was very...interesting. I really like characters that are sort of mysterious.
    So was he his dad really at the end? Or maybe not?
    Awesome idea and good job!


  • magicmonster00M
    May 31, 2008
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    Okay...that is all I can say.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 20, 2008
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    Well written. Enjoyed thoughout. So...was he like an angel or something? Angels on the roof has been done, but your take on it made it your own. Well done! You have a couple spelling blunders and some of your sentences are structually flawed, but overall, very well done!


  • loyda
    May 20, 2008

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    the city of angels...

    ....what a lovely way to call Los Angeles

    well, i reckon Los Angeles is kind of a jungle, but it's curious that both men were gay! but then again, in such big cities you find all kinds of people.

    i loved Chris, and just like him, 'John is the one I love'.
    yep, i like some dood called John...

    i guess people prejudice others by just how the look, like how Dan thought Chris was just a weird-flower man, without knowing the whole story.

    anyways, i didn't like the bible-bashing, but it was a really nice read nevertheless.




  • SimplyTaylor
    March 18, 2008
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    I wasn't sure what to expect as I began reading, but it's a pretty creative endeavor you've got here. I enjoyed your dialogue, and again, really creative.
    The only distracting part for me was the tense as you go back and forth from present to past near the end there. Overall, great start here!


  • carrot
    March 17, 2008
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    Wow. That's really all I can say. This was beautiful. It started off in a fairly humorous way, and as it went on, it took on this strange emotional/spiritual tone that really got to me. I loved it, I thought it was magnificent. Thank you for entering. =]


  • Ted E Bare
    February 9, 2008

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    This did start out fairly funny as I got a couple of chuckles. As it progressed, I was thinking the so-called homeless guy was much more than that. Like the churches were his houses where all his people go. I'm guessing you meant for this to be more on a biblical sense for that's how I took it and especially once Chris was gone when Daniel turned around. Very good writing and creative. Congrats on the Honorable Mention.

    Ted E


  • LostShadow silver member
    May 22, 2007

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    Wow this was a great story. Perfect lenght for the content. The dialouge drew me in throughout the story making me think. Great descriptions within this peice.

    I like when he is says "... but no one listens to me anymore" because sometimes its how I feel.

    Very nicely written. Thank you and good luck in the contest...It sets a high standard for the other entries to come

    Keep up the great writing.

    Thanks again,

    Em


  • comedy and tragedy
    April 27, 2007

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    This could be mophed into a really good series. You outa think about it, it feels like you may have put alot of thought into this. And in a way, what Chris say's things it even kinda got me thinking.

1 - 10 of 10