All was silent. I made my way through the house insidiously, carefully executing my well thought out plan. I crept up the stairs to her bedroom. I saw her lying still in her bed. I could hear my heart beating over the sound of the heavy rain outside. I took the few steps to her bed and raised my hand. At that very moment, lightning filled the wicked sky, and one last shadow was cast upon my sleeping victim. I thrust the blade deep into her heart. She convulsed for a moment, then returned to her previous state of placidity.
A contest entry
- Short, Sweet, and Sizzling by Arcularis.
750 points, ended May 26, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very nice wording! your vocabulary is astounding as is this murder scene!
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I agree, this little nugget could be something bigger. After contest, I'd like to see it expanded. Nice work!
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I want to read more! That's how awesome it was. If you decide to write a story around this, I'd love to read it. It has a good plot.
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I LOVED it!!!! It was awsome!!! Yayness!!! It made me want to read more
Keep writing
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Right on.
Thank you . One of these days I may take this little snippet and build a story around it. It seems like a good place to start.
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First off, i liked the words you used...it all came together in a nice picture behind my eyes, lol if that makes sense. Like it confused me though when you wemt from raising your hand, to i thrust the blade...you know? It was just an awkward transition for me...but all in all, i really liked it
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Thanks.
Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you liked it. I did what I could with 100 words, and I can see where the transition may be a bit "different". I can't really think of any other way to put it, though. Anyways, thanks again.
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