"Crystal was my best friend. She was always there for me, she would cast aside her own problems to listen to mine, she would always help out around the house. My parents loved her, they wanted to adopt her. Crystal and I shared a wonderful friendship together. She was always very happy, up until that day she and her boyfriend broke up. Since then, during every lunch period, she kept pacing back and forth through the halls of our grimy, run down school, lost in her thoughts. She looked very tired, like she never slept. She had this dead look in her eyes all the time, like she wasn't on this earth, and her skin was so pale." The girl stops speaking to dry the tears from her eyes. She steps away from the microphone, and runs away from the reporters and high school students, who are gathered in Crystal's front lawn like it's a 7-year-old's birthday party without the cake, ice cream, and screaming kids. The speaker dries her eyes, apologizes and continues speaking into the mic. 1
"Crystal would always call me and cry on the phone about her ex-boyfriend. How he hurt her, how bad she felt, how she felt like everything was her fault. She called me once to tell me she was hurting herself. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't react, I didn't do anything." Once more the girl breaks into tears. Through her tears, she manages to speak. 2
"I feel like her death is all my fault. I mean, I know it isn't, but I wish I was a better friend to her. Last week, about five days before she died, she gave me her favorite necklace- the one with the stars hanging down. I wondered why, but she wouldn't tell me. She just grabbed my hands and put it in, and she whispered 'Don't ever forget me.' Then she ran to her next class. She didn't call me until the day she died, and every time I called her she was magically never home. The day she died she called me and she said 'I love you, always remember that. Look under my bed tomorrow morning at 9.' Then she hung up. I called back but her phone was off the hook. The next day, I went to her house and her mom said that her door was locked. I opened it with a paper clip when her mom left to go downstairs to the kitchen. Crystal was lying in a pool of almost dried blood. I couldn't believe it." The girl slides down the side of the podium and rests her head on her knees. The reporters and high school students wait. Some students bring forth flowers to put in front of the house. Someone asks the girl if she's okay. She nods, stands up once more, and continues with her speech.3
"There was a knife resting in one hand and a letter covered in blood in her other hand. I remember it too clearly. I ran over to her. Her body was cold, she was white as a ghost. I checked for a pulse but there was none. I looked at her arms and she had hit every vein. I looked at her uncovered legs and she had carved 'UNWANTED' into them in huge bloody letters. There was blood on her face too, but I guess that's because she was wiping away tears. I didn't know what to do, it's like my world came crashing down on top of me. I hugged her body and I stayed there and I cried and cried. Then after 20 minutes of crying her mom came up to her room. She fainted in the doorway but I can see why. I poured cold water on her mother until she came around and then we hugged for a long time. I took the bloody letter from her hand and gave it to her mother. It said 'Mom and Dad' so it was for her parents, obviously. I remembered she told me to look under her bed. I didn't know what to look for but there was only one thing under there. It was a collage of pictures of us and in the middle it said 'I'm sorry I had to leave you. I love you.' I cried harder than ever." The girl's tone started to get more and more violent and angry with every word. 4
"I wondered what she was thinking when she was slowly bleeding to death. I wondered how come her parents didn't save her. I saw her diary open on her dresser. The first sentance was 'I figured you would find this, read it.' I took the diary and read the entry. It said 'I can't live with this pain any longer. I've been cutting but no one knows. No one asked why I was wearing long sleeves in the middle of summer, no one noticed I look like a dead piece of shit every day. No one sees my tears. No one knows my pain. I'm going to get out of this world.' That was all she said, and I was so upset. It meant I couldn't comfort her, durning all of our talks, she chose to turn to a piece of metal instead. It doesn't matter anymore, though." People start getting restless. The girl looks angry.5
"SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL HER STORY. Don't you remember her? The girl who was beautiful even in her pain? She was my best friend. I miss her, and I love her. She's my guardian angel now and I know she's watching over me and I know she's beautiful and happy now." The girl runs down the block, sobbing. 6
Reporters begin snapping pictures of the young girl running, they point and some even laugh. Reports inside Crystal's house are snapping pictures of "the dead girl who cut herself." The girl who was the outcast at school, who was whispered about. 7
Do you know what people say now that she's dead? I'll tell you.8
"Did you hear about the girl who cut herself? How nasty, she was so stupid. Why the fuck would anyone do that?"9
Crystal's parents made only one comment when the reports came to their house. Her father said,10
"I don't understand why she would kill herself instead of coming to us. She knew she could talk to us. But she's gone now, so there's nothing we can do."11
If Crystal came back and found there was only one person in the world who cared about her death, how would it make her feel? She would want to die again, I'm sure, if she knew this was how she was remembered in death.12
Author notes
my first story, though I guess it isn't really a story.. grumble I hate it. I also know nothing about grammar or whatever. I don't really care either. I'm a poet, not a story writer. sad sigh I would hate for anyone to be remembered like this after they commited suicide. That's why I wrote it. It's a digusting piece of nothing literature, and it's story is even sicker. suicide is serious, remember those who have commited it.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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very interesting style you wrote this in. i don't know how you can say that you hate it...i absolutely love it. it makes a harder impact on the person reading it and it makes it seem more realistic than anything else that i've read so far on this site. i know the pain that her parents and her one and only friend had to go through. man...this brings back so many memories. just to think, it wasn't even that long ago. anyways, i'll stop rambling on...this was great!
~~Marlana -
You made me cry, I love this story, it doesn't suck.
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This is really pretty good. Just a couple of things, I don't understand why there would be a group of reporters outside the girl's house, they don't do that on suicide deaths. At first I thought she was speaking at a school or something to other kids about death, and I thought that would be cool. The section where you put that you looked under the bed but didn't know what to look for, the way it reads is a little hard because if there was only one thing under the bed, you don't have to know what to look for, cause it's all that's there. Maybe you could word it along these lines: I remembered she told me to look under the bed. I reached under and pulled out the only item... something like that. I love the end, it's original, and it is very sad. You did a good job on this, thank you for entering the contest.
~whisper
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I beg to differ with you not being a story writer hun. This is awesome. I love it. I have tears welling up right now in my eyes. If this is how good your stories are i have to read some of your poems now. Awesome write and good luck in the contest.
*~OD~* -
Sad
Wow, This piece brought me to tears, it reminded of of an angel of mine that died, but she didn't kill herslef but was killed from another person's error from a car accident, i could hardly finish this story because it was very hard for me to read, the words were so surreal & to the point. I love how you wrote this & I would say it is a total masterpiece. Don't ever change it. I think you are really talented with writing stories, I mean come on, your brought me to tears! I'm sure people will agree with me that this is a tragic yet wonderful piece. GREAT MORAL ---Sara
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Man.... whoa. I mean, whoa. This is a really sad story, and it's really different than my last poem. Unless it was how Crystal's friend felt. I can't believe that people would feel this way after someones death though. I don't really even want to think about this one anymore. It's too real.
~All 28~ -
What r u talking about??? This story was wonderful!!! I think you can deffiently write stories so keep at it
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this is a very powerful story and i for one am very impressed. lil sister. you so slam me to shame. keep up the incredable work. i love you
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Wonderful!
Excuse me???? You're not a story-writer??? I beg to differ, my dear!!! This is an incredible story!! You've done a wonderful job with this! I can honestly say I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, waiting to find out what was going to happen; and then, even when I knew, I waited to find out her reason. Teenage suicide is such a sad thing! (Well, all suicide is sad, but I think, especially for one so young, that had their whole lifetime ahead of them. How could this world have so little to offer, that they wouldn't want to try to get help for the depression! I'll never understand!) Anway, back to your story-writing ability; I think you should most definately do another story!! I belive you're very talented, not only with poetry, but now, with stories! You keep on writing, girl!!!
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great
funny, im a better story writer than a poet... but this is a great story. -
Excellent Way to go!
Hi Amy this reminds me of my lost best friend and it almost brought me to tears all over again thinking about her and all the things I'm not going to get to do with with her now and until my dying day I'll always wish I was there to talk her down from this destructive path and let her know just how much I lover her and I still do very much. -
i dont see why u hate your story so much. i think itz a great write. i luv it.. seriously. itz so... vivid and full of emotion. i wish i could write like that!! im seriously at a loss for words rite now. that was just so good.
*hugz*
~mAyA~
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