I’ve always wanted to be a singer. It had been my dream all those centuries ago. Perhaps I haven’t completely lost it since I still get the thrill of joy every time I perform on stage. But I feel it slipping away as my annoyance directed toward those cheering humans grow stronger each time I grasp the microphone. It just reminds me of how incredibly naïve I was those many years ago…
I’m sure that it has been over four centuries and ninety-nine days since I started this nonsense. That long ago, I had been at the concert of Elea Yllion, cheering just like the fans now cheer for me. Maybe even harder. I remember clearly that I had to sneak out of my window that night in order to go to the concert for my parents disapproved of me leaving the house after 11PM. How I regret not listening to their counsel. 1

Elea Yllion had promptly started singing at 11:30 PM and rocked on until about 1 AM. When it ended, I was utterly high on my idol’s melodic voice and the vibes it had given off; I wished dearly to acquire a talent like hers. Little did I know then that my wish was about to come true, and that it would become my worst nightmare.2

After all of her concerts, Elea Dillion would talk to her fans one by one until 5 AM. I’ve always thought about how cool it was that she, a major celebrity, would speak to us. She would spend her precious time with her admirers instead of enjoying what her money and fame could buy. 3

Like many of her devotees, I had gotten in line quickly in order to be able to speak with her before she leaves, but I was pushed and shoved until I found myself at the very end of the line. For the loss of my chance to speak with my idol face to face, I despaired and cried. How weak I was back then. It would have been better if I had never spoken to her. Maybe fate was working against me because right at 4:37 AM, I found myself at the front of the line. I, the one who was at the very back, was facing Elea Dillion with no one in between. Excitement had clogged my throat and rendered me speechless. I couldn’t believe what had occurred. It had seemed like a dream. One that I had wished never to wake up from. That was the last wish that I’ve made since then.
Even now, I remember how incredibly tired and weary Elea had looked. What made a bigger impression on me was how panicky she had seemed. But the stupid and immature me of the past had dismissed it without a passing thought. It was perhaps the second biggest mistake of my life. 4

“Did you enjoy the show?” Her sweet voice flowed into my ears.5

“Of course. You were amazing,” I croaked and immediately blushed. 6

Elea just smiled, “I’m glad. Tell me about yourself.”
I instantly launched into my hobbies and talked nonstop finally concluding by saying, “I want to be a singer just like you.”7

“Just like me.” Elea had whispered while staring at me intently. The greatest mistake I’ve ever made in my existence was to ignore the fear that had tickled down my spine at that moment.8

“Yes, just like you.” I breathed out.9

“It is 5AM.” An imposing man appeared out of nowhere and to inform Elea. I had assumed that it was because I was so immersed in our conversation that I hadn’t seen him coming. Now I know otherwise. He was a vampire. 10

“Yes, yes. Give me five more minutes.” I swelled with glee as I heard those words imagining that I had impressed her. Yeah right. Me out of all those millions of fans. Wishful thinking on my part. I was just a tool. 11

Elea had gripped my hands as if to hang on to dear life. In a way she was.12

“I can make your dream come true. Would you like that?” Her eyes hysterically searched mine. “Please say yes. Please.” Her voice shook.13

I, too, was shaken up, for a whole different reason than hers. “Of course! Of course I would!” Exhilaration overrode everything else, including the growing wariness in the back of my rational brain.14

Just like that, I walked into the trap. One that I would never get out. Until now. 15

“She will be my successor. She will!” Elea ran and shook the imposing man as tears streamed down her beautiful, heart shaped face. I hadn’t registered was she said because I stared at my hands not believing that my dream was literally in reach.
“She has to be good.” The imposing man informed Elea in a flat tone.16

She rushed back to my side, “Do you know how to sing? Do you?”17

“I guess. Everyone does,” I hesitantly replied.18

“Have you had vocal lessons before?” Her big and soulful eyes gazed at me. Piercing.19

“No,” the word was squeezed out. I felt as if I had let her down.20

She slowly stood up. Looking back, that had been my last chance. And I had let it go along with my peace and normalcy.21

“Wait, I could sing something for you!” I yelled out, reaching for that last opening. Without waiting for an answer, I sang my favorite Yllion song “Never Lose Hope” with a trembling voice. The last note faded into the night; I stood with my head bowed, not daring to look up, scared of seeing disappointment. 22

“She’ll do.” The daunting man, who would later become my boss, consented.23

Elea ran. She ran as if the hounds of hell were chasing at her heels with with the blinding speed of light. I didn’t understand and wanted to stop her, yet my feet were rooted to the ground.24

Her last words to me were whispered, “I hope you’re stronger than me. God, I hope you’re stronger.” Her retreating back was lost to the receding darkness since dawn was fast approaching. She never appeared to me again. 25

That was how my new life had started. I later found out that I had become the company’s newest singer. An undead one. To this day, I still don’t know how I was converted to a vampire. It must have been done to me during my first night at the company. It is sad to know that I had unconsciously lost my humanity. Elea had wished that I was stronger than her because she gave up. The concert that I went to was her last. It was also the final day of her five century contract. She would’ve died and the company would have chosen a successor by itself if she hadn’t selected one — me. It just turned out that I had a good voice, and because of that, I was recruited. The worst part was that I went willingly. There isn’t a day that goes by without Elea’s face surfacing from my memories. Haunting. 26

Now my time has come. Today is the last day of my contract. I will be strong and not give up. I applaud Elea for her efforts, but she had not persevered. And I was the one who suffered. I would never forget that.27

As I walked up the stage to sing for one last time, I was at peace. Really, death is the easy way out. Especially when you hate life. In my mind, I apologized to all those that I’ve hurt either deliberately or unconsciously. I apologized to the humans whom had willingly offered me their blood. 28

Yes, they were willing, but if I hadn’t needed blood in order to sustain my life, I would have abstained from it. The only reason I did not was because of the contract. The pact that bound my soul making sure that it would suffer even if I had died before the time was up. I apologized to my fans whom were being deceived. I just had a normal voice and was exceptional only because vampires don’t need to breathe. We can go on forever. On top of that, vampires can sing any pitch. I apologized to the people who had bought whatever product I’ve marketed for. I am a vampire after all and needed no make-up or lotion to tone my flawless skin. You can cut it with razor-sharp knives, and it would still heal within seconds to become as unblemished as it was before. I apologized to the other celebrities who never had the fair chance to defeat me. I apologized to my parents whom I hadn’t seen after I got converted. I apologized to the world for not being able to shout out my secret. 29

My boots crunched as I neared the microphone. The skimpy outfit that molded into my skin did not leave much to the imaginations of my viewers. It was worst that I have ever worn in all my years. Really, if you look back into the history of women’s clothing, you would see the trend. First of all, the dresses’ cuts get wider and wider. Now it shows your belly button. Also, most of the dresses now contain transparent materials. Why do you even bother to wear anything? When you trace the history of skirts, you can immediately realize that it gets shorter and shorter. The present ones barely allow a person to walk, much less sit. Now let’s discuss about tops, you can hardly find T-shirts anymore; those are like for winter. Tube tops, more similar to strapless bras, are now in… When I observe all of this, I lose faith in the world. Is everyone becoming sluts? Or maybe just cave men and women… 30

“Hello all my yums (that’s the new word for fans these days…),” I shouted into the microphone, “I have a special PI to announce after the concert. Stay and hear. Tankya.” Really, the language was becoming crappy, too. 31

The music started to play and all my thoughts fled. The song that I chose for my last performance was “Goodbye’s Saddest Word” by Celine Dion. It was the only song that I’ve ever sang to my mom. Its beautiful lyrics also would go along perfectly with the piece of info (PI) that I was going to announce later in the evening. It all fitted. How could something so perfect be so tragic? I’ve always wondered about this throughout my long, seemingly endless years. An answer never once appeared. 32

The words of the song drifted out of my mouth with ease. I’ve sang this song so many times that it would not be a wonder if I did actually sing it in my sleep. Though I would never be able to since I do not have the ability to sleep anymore. I shut down. Literally. It is my favorite part of the day since bliss is what I receive. I hope it is what death feels like. Once, long ago, a reporter had asked me what religion I believed in. It took me by surprised since I had never bothered with beliefs before. Later, I had given it much thought and decided that Buddhism was my first choice because I could get a chance to be reborn. Of course, Hinduism also believes in reincarnation, yet its belief is that the cycle never ends whereas in Buddhism you could reach nirvana, or the breaking of the circle when you reach enlightenment. I want to reach nirvana; I want another chance at living. So badly. Maybe then I could tell you my journey through reincarnation. 33

You probably want to know about a vampire’s history and the conversion process. Sorry guys, but of the latter, I know nothing. The company with which I was bound to was founded in 1309. A man forced his young daughter to become a singer against her will. She hated him and began to change and rebel. Since all her concerts were given at night, that was the time she thrived in. During the day, she just slept. After a while, she began to fear the sun. The girl refused all the foods that were prepared for her but still needed a source of nutrition which started the consumption of blood. When she perished, the now fully grown woman cursed her dad along with the large company which she had helped to create. As some of you might have already guessed, the man is the owner of the company. The company that I now work for. As far as I know, the man feels no regret. But then again, he had about, oh, eight centuries to prefect his outer expressions. And sorry to inform you, but I have no clue how to convert humans to vampires. Maybe you’ll find out in someone else’s story. 34

Being a vampire really isn’t as great as many people imagine. Sure, you get a little prettier, but you still look like your old self. The only difference is that you get skinnier because, well, the food consumed is different. Your hair gets glossier, your face more angular, you eye lashes longer, your eyes more startling. Muscles become fuller for guys and lean for girls. But our skin does NOT get paler. I was pissed when I found out because that’s the number one rule of how to distinguish a vampire! Other than the drinking blood part, but a vampire never let you see the feedings. Never. Feedings are secret. It is our vulnerable time. Contrary to popular beliefs, blood actually makes us weaker. It is like the consumption of alcohol which leaves you high but confused. I believe that although our bodies need the blood, the mind rejects it because of how human it reminds us. Holy water doesn’t work on us. Crosses… let’s just say that I have been wearing one around my neck since the age of twelve and have never taken it off. I really don’t know how we die (other than getting fried) because no one tries to kill any of us. To my knowledge, no one, other than the specially kept humans used for their blood, knows we exist. Vampires are really cautious and law abiding. They don’t even feud amongst each other. I guess patience and tolerance does grow after a while. 35

I then heard the fans cheering and realized that the concert was over. The time has come for me to spill the beans. Haha. I never got that phrase.36

“Lo, my posse. My journey has been uneventful and rough at times yet you guys were always there for me. I really appreciate it. And now I have to tell you that my journey has come to an end.” I waited until the uproars died out. “I’m sorry if this disappoints and angers many of you, but I have made my choice. I will be in the singing or superstar world no longer. Goodbye.”37

Briskly walking off the stage, two bodyguards came over to help me get rid of the shoving fans. I didn’t need them and went off to find the boss. 38

“The contract ends tonight,” he said to me without even looking up as I caught him with a cup of whiskey in his hands. 39

“Yes. I have come with some requests.” I went on without pausing knowing he will not answer until all was displayed, “First, I want at least most of the money I have earned to go to charity. You can keep some. Even one percent is a huge sum. Secondly, I want you to promise that never again will you bring another being into this sort of torment. I will end this cycle.” There were no more requests, yet words just tumbled out of my mouth. Words that I had held in for centuries, “I am alone all the time without any friend. I had to watch my parents die along with my old friends while I’m still looking young and healthy. I hate the fact that I cannot taste all the delicious foods even with so much money. All I can take in is blood, blood, and BLOOD! How do you take it! It’s so red and warm. Disgusting.” I looked down at my hands. Trying to see and be horrified at myself for what I have done over the years. “I now realize that living in dishonesty is hell. All those stupid names that you made me go under. All 287 of them. Yes I counted, don’t look so surprised. What is so great being a vampire anyways? You can’t date normal people; you can’t go out and have fun; you attract too many ‘suitors’; and, hic, and you never die.” The last words came out as a whisper. I touched my face and felt cooling tears. The first time in these many centuries, I was crying. “And you know what I miss most of all? I miss the ability to watch the sunrise. I know that I have sinned many times over my existence, yet I can’t truthfully say that I have not tried to keep them at a minimum. At least I have repented time after time, and hopefully I will be forgiven. Can you say the same?” 40

The last words rang between us. I started at the side of his face, analyzing the visage where wrinkles should have long ago touched. Then, my gaze swept over all the whiskey bottles upon the table and felt pity. Even drinking all of them at one sitting would not get the ageless man drunk. 41

A tired sigh passed those immortal lips, “88% will go to charity. Don’t worry about us picking a successor. The contract clearly states that you will be the last if you do not annul the contract and leave without a successor. We cannot decide for you. It is not within our powers.” He turned and looked at me with haunted eyes and smiled, “Besides, I am thinking that having someone like you once is enough.” 42

I goggled at him. Was that something close to a compliment I heard? And was that a SMILE that I just saw? All I could say was WOW.43

“Ok then. I guess it’s my time to go.” The clock read 6:32. I only have a few minute left. 44

“Good luck.”45

I nodded and left.46


The air outside was fresh and clean. I could see the crystal droplets upon the grass. Out on the horizon, a rim of red was expanding and my body burned, yet I accepted all this with joy. It was a wonderful day. At that moment, I apprehended something. I realized that Elea had never meant to let go. She was testing herself and was unsure from the beginning, or she would have done as I did – not speaking to fans afterward. To my utter amazement, I did not hate her. Pity was the emotion I felt toward Elea. Pity for the fact that her life had to go on for another five centuries. Pity because she was probably living in shame with the knowledge of not being strong enough to end the cycle. Pity knowing that she was probably alone trudging trough a joyless life. 47

“Elea, I did it! I broke the cycle!” I hope that she felt it somehow. Maybe she would turn back into a human. I’ll never know. But for now, just knowing that I made it is enough. I am stronger than all those before me and had persevered. It gives me great delight to know that.
The sun now has risen to half of its full glory, and I am getting weaker by the second. The pain is unbearable yet welcoming. Death, a way to relieve myself of all the burdens that I had to carry throughout my agonizingly long subsistence. Finally, I will be free to embrace the destiny that my own hands will choose. Celine Dion might have believed that goodbye is the saddest word that she’s ever heard, but it brings me joy. So goodbye…