I open the car window and let the breeze flow into my face. I take a deep breath and let in the sweet smells of the country side. I was a city girl, but I was once a country girl. I watch the trees go by as we drive down the bumpy dirt road to the place I once called home.1

We were just visiting the farm. We weren't moving back or staying there for a very long time. We were just going to say hi to it's new owner take a walk around, and then leave. But inside my head, I was wishing we could stay, I was wishing I could never leave the farm again.2

Soon we come upon the field that was once ours, and then the rows of trees surrounding the farm house, the barn and garage. There were three fields around the buildings. One field was on the east side, and another on the west side. The third one was on the south side.3

We were pulling up to the drive way. I looked around the surroundings of the driveway. They had replaced the mailbox my mom painted. The one she worked so hard on. This made me mad. i also saw that the grass hadn't been cut in ages. When I saw the lawn I also noticed it hadn't been cut. The flowers in the garden were dead and the trees weren't trimmed like my mom had wanted them.4


No one was home at the time, we had knocked on the door, which we found was unlocked. I wanted to go inside, but I knew I couldn't. Though I really wanted to see what that inconsiderable drunk/asshole had done to my farm. 5

"I have to go over to your uncle's house to pick up the cats." My mom says to me, the reason why we came out here is to pick up our animals that we had to leave behind. We would be taking them to the local animal shelter (since now that we live in the city, we can't keep them all).6

"Okay." I say simply. I was staying at the farm to try to find any remaining cats, or hopefully, one of our dogs that ran away. But the chances of finding our dogs was slim...7

After my mom drove away, I took a deep breath, letting the sweet aroma of the trees and grass and the wild flowers that were scattered throughout the fields in my lungs. I decided to begin in the barn (looking for the cats of course), because that's where we had kept them.8

I walked over to the barn, I let all the sounds of the country in. The crunching of the gravel underneath my feet, the birds singing there sweet tunes in the distance. I opened the barn door, it was dark inside, but I could still see, just barely though. 9

It seemed as though they had installed lighting inside, so I turned on the switch, three lights went on, luminating the whole barn. I couldn't see any animals, so I called out: "Here kitty, kitty, kitty." Like I would of always before we had sold our farm.10

I heard a soft "meow" in return. I scanned the barn to see where the meow came from, but I couldn't see a cat. That's when I felt a rubbing feeling against my leg. I gasped, then looked down to see what was attacking my leg. It was a cat.11

"Omigod." I say laughing softly, "You scared me kitty cat."12

I bent down to pet the cat, she was a brown tiger striped color, and extremely small. I examined her details, her fat body, probably heavy with kittens, her short stalky legs, and long tail, her tiny paws-with a front paw that was cut in half-13

"Oh my god!" I exclaim, tears filling my eyes. "Omigod...Tiny??"14

I couldn't believe it. It was her, Tiny our first cat that we had, she was alive!! I had thought she had died, thinking that a coyote or wolf had gotten her (long story). But she was alive! I was petting her more, crying now, so glad to see her, when I heard a rough man's voice.15

"What are you doing here??" He said.16

I jumped, almost screaming. I looked up to see who it was. I let out a sigh of relief. It was just the owner's son. "I-" I began trying to explain myself. "My mom-she called your dad saying I would be here-you didn't know?"17

He eyed me, still suspicious. He pulled out a cellphone and began dialing a number. "Hey dad." He began. "There's this girl here, she says her mom called you saying she would be here for something? Oh. For the cats? Well okay then...see ya."18

"Sorry about that," he says "I didn't know, oh and there are only four of your cats here, the rest died."19

I looked down to my feet, I knew I should of expected that some of them wouldn't be alive. I let out a sigh, and began petting Tiny again. "Where are the other ones?" I ask20

"Around." he says. "You know how they are."21

"Yeah." I answer. I did know how they were, sometimes sleeping in the rafters, sometimes out in the woods hunting, or just around.22

"Be careful for the grey one." he warns me. "She likes to bite, and shes hard to catch."23

Princess...she was the grey cat that he was warning me of, she never liked people, she was a wild cat. But I knew how to handle her, after all, I was the only one she would ever come close to. "Thanks, I know how to handle her..." I answer, and he walks away.24

25


"Come out here kitty kitty kitty...." I call out in the barn, trying to coax Princess out of the corner she was in. I had some twine I would use to catch her with, and hold her with until my mom came back with the pet carriers. "Come'on kitty, you'll be okay."26

But she wouldn't take it, she was hissing and growling at me. I would of left her there, but my mom says we should get her to a trainer, to get her used to humans, then we would have to leave her at the animal shelter and wait for someone to adopt her...27

It broke my heart to have to do this, bringing them to the animal shelter that is. I never liked that place. Yeah, they treated the animals fairly, but just how the people acted around other people. They were always rude to us. Meaning, well, once my cat had run away and we were looking for him, and we stopped there and-28

Anyways...29

I decided to give myself a break, and give Princess a break. I walked outside of the barn and I could see my mom driving back. She pulled over and I greeted her when she got out of the car. It wasn't really a car, it was a Blazer, you know? From the Chevy company. 30

Mom went around to the back and opened up the back of the Blazer, we had 5 carriers, a giant one, usually for dogs, and the rest were cat sized ones. In the big one, there were 3 cats. Two of them I recognized. Lucky was one of them and the other was Moe. Lucky was a black and white colored cat. We called her "Lucky" because we had found her in our barn, we fed her, and I guess she decided to stay. She didn't have any ears, and the tip of her tail fell of because of frost bite. Moe was one of Tiny's kittens from a while back. She was white with brown spots all over her. She looked like she was pregnant, too. The third cat, the one I didn't recognize, was also black and white. "The third one is named Blackie, he's one of Lucky's kittens, he was the only one that survived..." said my Mom.31

"Oh...okay.." I say. "Ummm. You remember Princess right? Well, I can't seem to catch her..."32

"We can probably get her together." Says my mom. "Go ask Frank's son if he has a net we can borrow."33

I nod. (Frank was the owner of MY farm...) When I got the net, I went back to the barn, and Mom had Princess cornered. I handed her the net and very quickly she put the net over Princess. Princess was now howling and spatting, I had grabbed a pare of gloves and covered my hands so when I picked Princess up to put her in the carrier she wouldn't scratch me.34

After all this was over, I decided to go for a walk around the place I had once hand my "adventures". When I was little, well, since I didn't have anyone to play with, I would pretend some friends and animals and have my own little adventures. I would prance through the grass when it was tall in the fields. I walked down the stretch of grass that led down to the "Little Trees" We called them the "Little Trees" because when my dad was a kid (cuz he grew up on the farm) the trees (which were now towering over us) were little trees. So thus that's what we called them.35

I walked slowly, I wanted to remember this time, I breathed in deep, hoping I could keep the beautiful sent of grass, wild flowers, and pine needles inside me. But I knew it wouldn't stay that way, if I could hold in the scents, I would. Tears filled my eyes, not because I couldn't keep the sent, but because of what I had to do to catch the cats, I would let them rome free, but we had to bring them in to the animal shelter so they could get them fixed and find homes for them. I was also crying because, I knew I couldn't stay here... On MY farm, I always considered it my fathers farm, but a while ago I realized it was MY farm, I was the only one who really cared about it.36


After a while, we were going home. We had caught all the cats, but we didn't find any of the dogs. I watched behind me, the farm disappearing into the distance. How could I have let myself be taken away from my place....again....37