Rhyannon's Prayer

Early morning dew dampened her slippers as Rhyannon made her way to the waters edge. When she entered her usual secluded spot, the evergreens formed a ring about her, blocking her from prying eyes, allowing her privacy.

"My thanks to you, dear friends", she bowed slightly too each tree in turn before taking her position on the center stone. Removing a pouch made from deer hide, she drew out four stones of blue, green, red and white. Each represented the four elements, blue symbolized water, green earth, white air and red fire. She placed each one in order of the four winds, north, south, east and west.

This done she opened her pouch and retrieved a large golden feather given to her as a gift from Phayne the phoenix, her sisters familiar. She placed it next to the red stone then pulled a scale from her pouch this came from the sea dragon, Pallmorth, a gift in way of a thank you when she had pulled a large thorn from his tail. She laid the scale above the blue stone that lay to the north.

Next came, a strand of amethyst hair another gift this time from her ever-loyal friend and familiar, Draygarth the Each Uisge also known as the water horse. She placed the hair beside the white stone. Lastly, she brought out a leaf from the fabled tree of ancient wisdom. This had belonged to the women in her family for generations. Her mother had given to her on her 17th birthday. She placed it gingerly below the green stone. Finished she grabbed a handful of dried evergreen needles that had fallen to the ground and laying them in the center of the stones, she lit them with her flint.

A wisp of grey smoke began swirling then rose to form a funnel then slowly wafted out encircling Rhyannon with a delicate aura. Closing her eyes, she offered up the first of her two prayers to the elements. She asked for discernment for her sister, Dyanah who was her twin and the second born. Who had also made clear that she envied Rhyannon's power and meant to prove that she too, was worthy to hold such magic.

Rhyannon now sought to discover how she might help Dyanah realize that she also held powerful magic. The order of their births had decided who got what power.

Sensing a change Rhyannon opened her eyes to see that the grey aura had begun to take on a greenish hue. As she watched, eyes formed in the center of the green billow now made larger by earths spirit. The eyes opened to reveal amber pupils that bored into Rhyannon setting her to shiver with apprehension.

"Your sister is ignorant of the elemental ways"… a voice crackled like dry leaves sending the winged creatures aflutter. Rhyannon sighed sadly as the voice continued. "She is young yet and quite innocent in these matters that concern each living creature".

"What can I do"? Rhyannon asked hesitantly.

"The smoke pulsed then earth spoke once more, "Nothing, Rhyannon there is nothing you can do. Dyanah must find her own way. You have more pressing matters to attend to this shall be your way". Slightly confused and not a little curious Rhyannon began to ask what these matters were when she caught herself and remained silent instead. She had learned long ago not to question the elements about such things they did not take kindly to it. so she sat quietly and listened and when the smoke had once again returned to natural color and form she sent up her second prayer of perception.

The smoky vapors ascended once more swirling and undulating as it transformed into a wave that hovered just above the soil. A vacant hole appeared smiling broadly, as it cooed, "Awww how wonderful to see you again, Rhyannon".

"Thank you, Warrick it is good to see you again too". She answered relieved that it was the water spirit to answer her call, for this was her birth element the father of her most potent powers. If anyone of the elements could answer her questions, it was he.

A contest entry

to be continued, lol. More will be coming as soon as I write it hehe.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Lou Berg
    November 8, 2007
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    Previously read and commented

  • Lou Berg
    October 23, 2007

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    Interesting read

    Since there is no prologue, the read can only guess at what the story is about.

    The description here is handled delicately and promises more of the same.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • playjazz67
    May 10, 2007

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    Outstanding!

    This is so well set I could "see" the area. Although I love emotion, description of the "where" and "what" somehow gets forgotten so often. It is nice to have a flow that draws me into the story.

    One place: "Dyanah who was --- Who," you have in two sentences yet somehow it feels the two should be joined. This is my opinion but it just jumped out for some reason.

    So gentle yet beautiful in the way one sister is caring for the welfare of the other. If read properly the prayer is not to block progress of the twin but for her twin to have understanding.

    Yes, if this can be found I will be reading anything written that follows.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • CrystalFlower
    April 26, 2007

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    wow I love this! You have a wonderful talent for imagery. I'm a huge fan of fantasy and this one fits right up at the top of great story telling. Well done.


  • April 25, 2007

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    awesome, awesome, awesome. I love fantasy stories and if I could rate your story from a 1 to a 10 I'd rate it 9. Great job.


  • Hales13
    April 24, 2007

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    this is really great. =) i really liked the imagination in this. i've read a lot of stories with elemental sorceress and they weren't as good as this one. good job and good luck.


  • King Blade
    April 23, 2007

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    hm. Great start, I must say.

    To Critique this, I must say that the third paragraph is a bit lengthy, though length is good in it's place.

    Your character being a sorceress, simply wonderful. It's not often that I actually see a sorcerer/sorceress ever put into a book (admitedly, I haven't read many on the scale of things)

    There are missing comma's and such, but otherwise a great work.

1 - 7 of 7