Saturn - Chapter 1

~Chapter One~

I received it. I actually received the scholarship I’d been forced to work on day in and day out. I could now finally go to my claimed “dream” school, Liberty University, after years of wondering whether this was the right road for me. I felt so naive entering into a world of broken promises. Yet, I had received the scholarship. No chance to turn back now.

I popped open the door of my 19-year-old blue Toyota Corolla. The squeaky door played music to the thumping of my excited heart. I had to get home and show my parents to scholarship I had received. Their dreams were finally coming true.

I dashed to the door of our old brick house. My sister had painted it a deep forest green, which I felt clashed relentlessly with the rest of the exterior. Ah, Lindsay, I thought jealously, always doing what mommy and daddy want. Well now it’s my turn. With a cheeky grin, I turned the brass knob and saw my mother at the sink. She was washing the dishes, a job that had been proclaimed as mine. She looked over at me. I flashed the scholarship right in her face. With her wet hands she took hold of it and squealed. Finally both daughters were living up to her expectations.

“Oh, Kelly! I’m so proud of you!” She hugged me tight. She told me to go tell my father about the scholarship. However, as I walked away from her, I lost the excited feeling and adopted a sense of self-pity. I started, slowly, to realize this was not what I wanted. I didn’t know what the future held for me. But this was not what I wanted.

I crept to the back room of the basement. I felt the cold concrete floor of the laundry room. Behind all these dirty clothes stood the ensemble of my existence, or my old 100% test scores which mother and father ever-so-proudly collected. I was not so keen on this collaboration. Sure, they were beautiful grades that I poured all of myself into, but the problem was I had poured all of myself into them. Upon looking back I kept noting past choices I never had the time to make. There was either some test to study for or some essay to write. I sat back and cried. Why in heaven’s name did I fight a fight not worth fighting for? Was it really worth it? I sobbed ever harder still as I closed my eyes and lay down. The answer had been written there all these years and I’d been too stubborn to see it.

No.