Jesus walked into a bar and asked for a drink and while waiting a bear walked in .Jesus eyes suddenly blazed with hatred. His lifelong nemesis had come again to torment him.
Damn you berry!
curse you father for his existence!
Berry just stared for he was a bear and therefore unable to talk.
He slowly pulled out a knife letting it shimmer off the harsh light above.
Berry you can’t kill me ….because you’re already dead!
Pulling out a pistol and jumping over the counter shooting
Bang!
Bang!
Each a near miss as berry flipped to avoid the bullets.
Damn you berry!
Rising up quickly Jesus shot again
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Until all he heard was the empty click. Cornered and without ammo he jumped back over the counter and ran quickly behind berry unleashing several kidney punches bringing berry to his knees.
I never could bear you
Grabbing his neck he snapped it and felt his body go limp
I’ll see you in hell he said in a dull voice
Author notes
Just something i wrote out of boredom NO effort was involved so if you hate it it's all right just don't be condescending to me.
A contest entry
- Strictly Humor by Kitzwa.
350 points, ended April 23, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmmm. you just got to love a homicidal Jesus. lol. why attack a bear, i don't know. it was very funny and different. too bad you didn't win the contest. obviously, the judge has no taste.
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Hm
Ok.... I don't really know what to say. To be honest, that wasn't really funney, nor did it make since. If you want me to lie about it, It was great and good, I loved it.blah blah blah. But I don't like to lie. I think it needs more work or you need to do another one. I wish you good luck, cause your gonna need it. I'm not trying to be mean though, just honest ok?
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Wow, gotta love the image of a homicidal Jesus. Just one thing wrong "Curse the gods for your existence!" There is only one true God, and that's Jesus' father (Jesus would believe anyway) If you changed that one sentence to accomodate that it makes it even funnier. I know that sounds kind of confusing, but I can't think of an easier way to explain it. I would say that this story is definitely worth expanding to make longer. Nice job and good luck in my contest.
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