Whats that smell?



I woke up,1



I smelt it,2



so very fine,3



I wondered if thats what will dine,4



I walked out of my room,5



I went downstairs,6



I smelt it,7



so very fine,8



Whats that smell?9



Running down the stairs,10



I felt inside me some type of scare,11



What was it?,12



I don`t know,13



I walked out the front door,14



I looked at the floor,15



what a mess!16



I saw a poo,17



I guess my dog did doo doo,18



on the floor!19



I cleaned it up,20



I seemed tired,21



I walked outside,22



I felt the grass,23



so very soft,24



My mom called "Mealtime"25



I ran inside,26



there was a pan,27



All of us sat at the table,28



It was Pie!!29



I ate it,30



I felt sick,31



the next morning I died,32



It was poisoness.33



34

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • sarahhitch
    July 27, 2007

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    What!

    Didn't get the huge gaps, infact didn't get the whole poem, I try hard to understand the messages they give out. It may be just me, but sorry this one lost me half way through.

    Sarahhitch

    beginning: 3, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.


  • Frozen Fire Poet
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Haha

    That was funny! lol. That made me laugh. I like when the kid died. Keep up the good work! 33 lines wow!


  • Unpredictable Lover
    May 15, 2007
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    Wow...that was disturbing...Very nice! I like it. Good job. ^.^


  • bedovich
    April 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    you got the the sweet touch


  • Sharon is me
    April 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks you Heartbroken!


  • Kevan gold member
    April 21, 2007

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    Lol, I also like pie. Certain parts made me want to get sick though... three guesses which parts those were. Great job overall. I'm craving some pie now... actually Ice cream... banana split... mmmmmmmmmm... im hungry, but great job!!

    beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 2.


  • Sharon is me
    April 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Story Notes

    I wrote this because I like pie.

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.

1 - 9 of 9