In the middle of the forest, on the bank of a creek, sat a young woman. Her gray pullover and worn pants were camouflaged against the backdrop of crunchy autumn leaves. Cold mud seeped into the seat of her corduroys, but she didn’t get up.1
A tall, dark-haired man watched from across a quietly murmuring stream. The sunlight slanted through thin brown trees, reflecting against water and making it appear almost silver. The man stood partly hidden behind a tree. He watched tears tumble down her face. She was completely still; or were there very faint shudders sliding over her neck and shoulders, down her back?2
He stepped away from the tree and moved toward her, out of place in his tailored suit and shiny black shoes. Nature seemed to reject him. Rusty-gold leaves crackled noisily under his soles, and a chipmunk scampered through his wake. A chattering squirrel dropped acorns from above. He cleared his throat.3
She twisted very slowly, he waited to see her face, both knowing what they would see and yet growing fearful. Finally, briefly, their eyes met. He noticed three creases in her neck as she looked over her shoulder at him. He found them oddly adorable.4
Their eyes bore into the others and it seemed to be a stalemate. They both had beautiful pairs; his the color of a Caribbean sea at twilight, hers a deep coffee bean brown. Their gazes were equally intense; hers never flickered even as he moved closer, the tip of his shiny black shoe poking her back. He waited. Her breath let out, and then she was standing, long corduroy legs stepping away. One more neck-creasing peek over her shoulder and she disappeared through the trees.5
Inexplicably, it started to rain. Wet, gray lines slashed into his well-made suit and coated his fine hair. One tear slid out of a navy blue eye and melted with the rain onto the olive skin below.
By beezy92, © 2008, All rights reserved.
Author notes
[Contest stuff:
Twilight
I'm 16 and my favorite cookie is white chocolate macademia.
http://storywrite.com/story/246064 "Oh no! That's never fun to find. (: It was an action-packed start, it will be interesting to see what happens next. (:
There were a few grammar things, a few misplaced commas, or missing punctuation marks, little capitalization errors, small things like that. (:
The opening paragraph has pretty imagery, but it's a bit of a run-on sentence. It would be more concise if you parsed it into fewer sentences. For instance, "Her feet dragged along the ocean shore. Beside her, the waves crashed, sending the strong scent of sea salt up her nose. She tripped and stumbled, jarring back the memory of the night before."
Obviously, it's your writing and I'm not trying to encroach on that or put words in your mouth. It was just in example of how a sentence can make a big difference.
Can't wait to see more! (:
"
Picture prompt: 11) http://ohsophisticated.deviantart.com/art/rain-100495884 My favorite place to go is Bermuda.
Option 2, autumn. lolt
Something clever
That's the best I got Tay-Tay (: ]
I took the beginning of an old story...a little past line 1, and then I tweaked that and wrote the rest just now. I'm impulsive and sometimes strange when I write at night, so be sure to tell me what you think! Thanks for reading (:
I was channeling Daniel Craig as James Bond a little in the main character. (: Mostly the suit, not the sentiment. He wasn't there to kill her. 
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