You are wreid,Jake said to jim as they sat on his bed looking out the window.
Jake I swear man there is a monster out side"jim said to jake in a werid low kind of vioce"
And I say your full of itjake said"In a scared vioce
Okay I will walk outside and look give me a flash light.Jake said to him holding out his hand shakeing it.
As he went to go outside you heard him scream in a loud vioce..
Jake thought to himself Im hiding he better not be messing with me.
As I went to get up and look I saw outside laying on the ground jake oh my god Im fucking crazy or he is playing with me.
As I went to go look I woke up what was this a dream or what?
I was hangeing from a tree I knew this was no damn dream I looked up and seen these werid looking people I front of me what the hell.
Istarted screaming to the yop of my lungs like there was no tomorow.
We are going to eat you like we did your friend what I yelled no your not I saped back at these things.
Then one of them came over to me and opened his month and ate me..
Then I woke up and i was in my bed safe and sound That is why I'm in a nut house today
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration 101 by Pudding-zilla.
102 points, ended April 18, 2007, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Ok, A good story here son in law but i think you need to Edit it as you went from third person to first... if I may...
"You are weird." Jake said to Jim as they sat on his bed looking out the window.
"Jake I swear man there is a monster out side" Jim said in a weird low kind of voice"
"I say your full of it!" Jake said In a scared voice
"O.K... I will walk outside and look give me a flash light." Jake said to him holding out his shacking hand.
As he went to go outside Jim heard him scream...
Jim thought 'I'm hiding so he better not be messing with me.'
As he went to get up and look he saw Jake outside laying on the ground..
"Oh my god, I'm either fucking crazy or he is playing with me."
As I went to go look I woke up what was this a dream or what?
Jake was hanging from a tree Jim now knew this was no damn dream. He looked up and spotting these weird looking people in front of him.
"What the hell?"
He started screaming to the top of his lungs like there was no tomorrow.
"We are going to eat you like we did your friend" The strange beings stated
"What!" Jim yelled "No your not!"
One of them moved towards me and opened it's month and ate me..
Then Jim woke up he was in his bed safe and sound. That is why I'm in a loony bin today... -
great job keep it up
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Um
um in the middle of the story you kind of stopped with the "quotations." but good -
um your werid hunny but i still love you babe i love you tho this was okay could have been a wee bit longer but it was good hunny I love you tho
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