This is my first attempt at a war story. Any advice would be most welcome. I've re-written the ending to develop the emotional journey a bit given the initial feedback. Hopefully this works a bit better than my first draft.
I have tried writing in third-person style, with limited omniscience (some insight into character thoughts) which is alien to my normal writing. Normally it's either first person or cinematic (i.e. no mental insights).
Oh and I was hoping to make this part of a mini-series, each written in a very different style but within the same setting. One of the others in the series is my short story, Run! (Note the similarity in title...)