Yum

"Oh man, I am SO stuffed!" I bellowed, as I scopped the last spoonful of delectable rice off of my plate and shoved it into my mouth.
"Yeah, me too." Matt said, while smiling and wiping his hands with a wet nap.
It was April seventh, mine and Matt's sixth month anniversary, and Matt had surprised me with a visit to my favorite restaraunt: The China Buffet. And yes, I know that makes me sound like an insane person, but I can't help it! I am seriously addicted to their oyster wing sauce. I put it on everything: chicken, beef, rice, pizza, you name it!

As I licked the last bit of sauce from my fingers, the waiter came over with the check. He was a typical chinese waiter, with black, slicked hair, and a smile that says "I know what you REALLY ate."
He dropped the plastic check holder down in front of me.
On top of the check sat two fortune cookies.
"Have a great night!" he said with a squint of his eyes, like he was trying to get into our minds and see what kind of tip we were going to give him.

I reached for the cookie nearest Matt. It is my stern belief that the cookie farthest away from you will bring you the most luck.
I quickly grabbed it and ripped it open, knowing that in a second, I would be either laughing hysterically or completly disappointed.

"You will get something good in the mail."

"Ah, damnit!" I said. "I've seen this one about three times!"
I know it seems weird that I would get so upset over a fortune cookie, but I must confess something to you, dear audiance, that I have never told anyone before:

I want to write fortune cookie fortunes.

It has always been a secret desire of mine. To be able to make or break someones day just by putting down a sentence into a cookie! What a joyous expirience!
I've been training all my life, and you can thank me for such brilliant lines as:

"By eating this cookie, you will have the ability to fly!"
and
"Your dog will die today. Might I recomend a ferret to replace it?"

Yep, I sent those beauties to the 'Chinafood fortune industry' in 1997. Your welcome, America.

As soon as I graduate college with a Masters in creative writing, I am going straight to their Headqueaters in Kansas to apply for a job.
Oo, I hope I get it!
Wish me luck!