An enchanted encounter

Gabriella scanned the streets, from the top of the building, She loved this Job , watching over the humans, looking out for other intruding bloodsuckers that tried to steal their prey and take them out.Intruding blood suckers such as Grazedan and Cripthin vampires. It wasn't very hard for her to fight them, for she had been a Volten Vampire for five hundred years now. Her skills were flawless and she hardly met any one who was her match.

How weak the humans were, she thought to herself , as she had just begun to enjoy the cool night's breeze on her skin...

Drake spied on the object of his lust from one of the the dark roof tops. Gabriella never looked more beautiful. Her long dark hair floating in the wind, and the way the moon light glistened on her smooth flawless skin did wonders to her darkened, tanned complexion.

He took a deep breath as his eyes, roamed her body as she delicately crouched over the edge of the building. God, the outfits Gabriella wore to her shifts were amazing...how they complemented the size of her full supple breasts, emphasized on the smallness of her waist and flawless curves of her body to her perfectly round butt. Reminded him of those long passionate nights when she was he's.

He was forced to sink his fangs into his lower lips,for the fact that wanting her was forbidden made him want her even more...for he was a grazedan vampire now...

Gabriella took a deep pleasurable breath as she was about to leap unto another building when she heard a loud thudding sound behind her. Startled, she swiftly turned around her hands automatically shifted to her weapons, readied for combat. Seeing who it was, she went stiff and speechless.

It was Drake..her exlover. The only man she ever truely wanted , atleast until he was transformed into a Grazedan vampire and turned against her. She felt so betrayed...she never hated anyone more..and yet she never wanted any one even more.

"Well look who's here and i see she's gotten a new look." He's eyes ran mockingly over her new leather outfit. Fury gathered up inside her. "What are you doing here Drake?"

"Just roaming around the skies" He gave her a mockingly innocent look. "Is that so wrong now?". Gabriella burned even more. She took a deep breath. She won't let herself get intimidated by Drake. "You know fully well that this is my turf." Then she smiled coldly. "But then again, it's no surprise that you're here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Drake stepped foward. He was inches away from her. His features became clearer. His deadly green eyes pierced right through her. His shoulder length dark hair flew in the wind. The moon lit up the gorgeous yet deadly features of his face. It was torture for Garbriella to stand her ground.

"Oh you know what I mean Drake." She backed away seductively smiling at him with teasing eyes. "Its pretty obvious that its hard for you to keep away."

Drake lowered his head and laughed to hide his face expression. She was right. Despite the fact that they were bitter rivals. He was here becuase he had to see her again. Had to look into those beautiful dark eyes, had to hear her sexy spanish accent again... atleast just one more time. But she did'nt have to know that.

"Again with the teasing eh?" He smiled t, flashing those pearly whites his newly grown fangs showing, Gabriella's heart almost skipped a beat. She had to turn away.

"Drake you have to leave. this my turf. leave or else..."

"Or else what?!" he said mockingly has he swiftly strode behind her. So close she could feel his breath against brush against the skin of her neck. Gabriella mentally sighed ,God how this brought back memories. They were long lost now..she quickly told her self.

Sharply, she turned around to face him looking straight up into his eyes ignoring how gorgeously they glistened right back into her's. "Or else i will be forced to harm you!". She tried to look serious in order to frighten or intimidate him. He looked back at her with a blank expression, then busrt into a painfully mocking laughter. "Baby if you wanted to "harm" me , you and i both know that you would have done that the minute i landed on this building."

Maybe he was right . Her defences weakened she knew it showed in her eyes, because a satisfactory look spread across Drake's face when he looked in them. Her gaze shifted to the side.

Drake smiled mentally...and maybe a little physically. Was he finally getting to her? Could this be the night when she could finally be he's again after many longing months of serperation? Maybe..but he wasn't about to give in just yet.

"Maybe.." he whispered seductively as he slowly glided around her playing with a strand of her dark curly hair, knowing from experience that this move drove her crazy. "Maybe there are still some lingering feelings in there, despite the betrayal, despite the hate you feel... maybe you still want me...

Gabriella violently brushed his hand away from him. She hated this...hated the fact that by that moment she burned with desire, felt hot all over, hungry for his touch, his taste, she wanted to feel his perfectly built body on her again. Wanted to touch those perfectly shaped abs.

Just then a loud piercing cry came from the sky. Gabriella looked up in horror. Grazedans. They were everywhere. Swinging and leaping from roof top to roof top. And they were her for her. Her gaze furiously shifted to Drake. "You!" She cried out. her voice was hoarse deadly and cold. "I should have known!". She treid to force hot angry tears from falling.

The shrieking cries of the Grazedans flooded the sky. they where approaching closer...like savages, eager to capture an extremely desirable prey. Tears blurred her vision making it was hard to read Drake's expression now . He was probably proud of himself now. He planned this...lured her into his trap, and she fell..she FELL for it!.

Anger burned inside her. She felt like an errupting volcano. She charged savagely at Drake, determined to rip him to shreads, claw his eyes out, KILL HIM, before she was captured. She gave the most inhuman roar as she pounced him, pushing them both to the ground. Her clawed at him with her inhumanly long nails. All of a sudden his strong arms encircled her waist as he leaped up into the air.

She tried to break free. but she couldn't! He was stronger! this surprised her. Drake hadn't even been a grazedan for up to a year!

What was he doing? taking her towards the grazedans? It didn't seem that way...so where else could he be taking her?

It was a wild goose chase. Grazedans seemed confused at what Drake was doing but they followed him until drake leaped down a building. It was such a long way down, both he's and Gabriella's hair flew up against the wind.

He landed on a lower roof top. They seemed to have lost the other Grazedans but not for long.

Drake was stunned, he made sure he wasn't followed, How could they have spotted him? Did they use him as bait, they always suspected that he was involved with a volten. They must stalked him...quietly waiting for the right to time strike...Atleast he could use this opportunity to get what he wanted more than anything ...

"What are you doing?! where the hell are you taking me!" His thoughts where interrupted by Gabriella's harsh tone of voice. His mind flashed back to the look Gabriella had given him when his fellow grazedans had attacked. The look on her face almost broke his heart,same look she gave him the first time she found out he was a grazedan, so hurt and betrayed and yet so furious, the way hot unshed tears lingered in her eyes almost brought tears to he's.

He had forgotten how emotional Gabriella got him sometimes and how emotional she got when she let herself let vulnerable.

"I'm not quite sure i like the tone of your voice " he landed in a dark alley. "i did just save your life." he let his arms slip from her waist.

"Did you?" Garbriella gave him a cold challenging look. "Well correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe those where your fellow grazedans that were just about to attack me."

"Yes and i saved you from my own kind." Drake retorted giving a challenging smile right back at her.

"Really?" Gabriella folded her arms. " How did they find us then?, you didn't lead them? how am i sure this isn't some kind of trap anyway?" Her eyes lifted to scan the skies. Drake laughed.

"Don't be ridiculous Gabriella ..you know this is no trap. I won't do that to you". For the first time since their encounter the look on his face was sincere..no mocking, sarcasm, tease...nothing.

She was falling, she had to brace herself. "Whatever." She turned away. "This wouldn't have happened, if you didn't interrupt my shift anyway! " she looked back at him "I would have been able to fight off those wretched grazedans before they had surrounded me. i would have defeated them if you hadn't come to- to..."

"Distract you?" He smiled flirtatiously at her. "You do admit i'm a distraction then?"

"I never said that." She quickly retorted.

"You didn't have to...it was quite obvious that your attention was quickly drawn towards me." He inched closer to her. "Just as mine was drawn to you." He voice so low it was almost a whisper. He was so close to her now. Gabriella shuddered in spite of her self, She went speechless as his hands slowly, delicately ran across her cheek, Her body completely responded against her will,their lips almost touching...

Suddenly, just at that moment, violent rain drops started to fall. Gabriella growned loudly as she backed away. "This is just great!"

Drake smiled mentally all according to plan. This night was flowing with him. "c'mon" he said grabbing her hand and running towards the end of the alley.

"What? were are we going?"

"You'll see."

They reached the end of the alley Drake pulled on something and to Gabriella's surprise, the bricks of the wall of the alley parted and revealed some kind of secret passage, stairs leading into the ground. The puzzled Gabriella watched as Drake stepped in first and then reached his hand out towards her. Gabriella looked down at him.

"I don't think so"

"C'mon" he urged " It'll be a matter of time before my kind find you if you don't." then he smiled "The rain might ruin you hair too you know?"

" what do you care!"

"C'mon Gabby don't be difficult." It had been a while since he called her Gabby, for some reason she loved it when he did. "Fine" She said taking his hand. "But just so i don't ruin my hair." The lights automatically came on as Drake led her down the stairs into a large well lit up apartment.

This place..Gabriella thought to herself as hey eyes roamed the room. Drake just stood behind her with an expressionless look on his face. The place, the furniture, the colours, everything was so masculine, but cosy. She remembered this place! It was here Drake had brought her when he told her that awful news about having to turn against her. She didn't understand until he told her that he had been transformed.

Now he had brought her here again. She looked at him accusingly "You planned this didn't you!?" . Drake looked at her uneasily. "Well - er-" he stammered. "It came to me when the other Grazedans attacked." He fiddled uneasily with one of the decorations placed on his counter. "And then it started raining i just had to-"

"Why did you bring me here!" Gabriella shot at him.

Drake looked at her longinly passionately, his eyes held her gaze as he put the object back on the counter. His eyes remaining focused on her. "Gabriella." He said his voice low and hoarse. He walked towards her. Parts of his wet hair stuck to his fore head and the side of his face. His wet clothes clung to his body revealing his extremely arousing features. Gabriella felt her legs weaken. She could clearly see the hunger in his eyes. He was now inches away from her. "I can't take it anymore" he looked longinly into her eyes "We've been seperated for two long, binded only by our rivalry." His arms encircled her waist. "Its killing me Gabby. I want you more than anything right now, i know you feel the same way. i see it in your eyes."

Gabriella opened her mouth to speak maybe to object but no words came out. She just looked lustfully up at him. His look growing more passionate, He lowered his lips towards hers, gently parting her lips with his tongue. Gabriella responded immediately, her body weakened her hands automatically went round his neck. She held on to him as she devoured his kiss. This kiss which brought back a whole bunch of memories. "Drake..i cant.." His kiss lingered from her lips to her neck, up to her ear, when he whispered. "I want you Gabriella right here right now, I want you to be MINE again."

The deadly passion in his voice made her grow hot with lust. Without warning he pushed against the one of the walls of the living room. Kissing all over her neck ,his hands shifted to cup her full supple breasts. He pulled dowm the leather material which supported them and began to massage them ever so sensually that Gabriella moaned. He lifted her legs round his waist and pressed against her as he began to kiss her breasts, teasing her nipples with his tongue. She moaned. She felt his erection lengthen along with his fangs as they rubbed against her breast.She felt herself growing wet.

Gabriella could feel her own fangs slowly emerging. Her hands roamed through his thick dark hair. He carried her all the way into the bedroom. Gabriella tugged on his shirt, kissing him roughly and then lifted it over his head.They continued kissing. Her hands roamed restlessly round his chest ,down to his rock hard stomach, tracing his abs..oh how she had hungered for his body. She was just beginning to realize how much. His hands went to her back ,unzipped her leather top which fell off her automatically. His hands went down to squeeze her perfectly round bottom, pressing her closely against him. The feel of her erect nipples againt his chest drove him crazy, what even got him crazier was when she reached down and clawed at his hard throbbing erection.

With a low sensual growl, He carried her on the gray sheets of the waiting bed. On top of her kissing her ever so passionately, his hands roaming her smooth flawless body. With his kiss , he slowly began to explore her neck down to her breasts, slowly over her stomach, then began to unzip her pants. Got them off with one strong pull, and the off came her panties, he stared down at her soft shaven sheath.. slowly began to kiss it.

Gabriella felt the most tingling sensation between her legs, the sweet burning senstion drove her crazy, She had forgotten how good Drake was at this. She felt her hips move against him. She couldn't wait any longer, she wanted him to take her right then. Sitting up, she pulled him up swiflty unbuttoning his pants. She teased his penis rubbing the head of it with her thumb, moaning, he squeezed on her breasts, pushing her down against the bed again and positioning himself between her legs. "Now i have you Gabby." His voice was hoarse,low , deadly and passionate. "Now you're mine its almost too good to be true." And with that he slowly eased his erection into her wet welcoming opening. She moaned softly, her longful craving was being fufilled.

He pushed harder against her , Their bodies began to move in one rhythm. She tightened her legs around him hands clawing against his back. She loved the feel of him stabbing into her over and over....once again.

Drake moaned along with her...she never felt so good, maybe it was the becuase of how long they had been seperated. He felt himself coming taking her with him. Going faster and faster. With one final moan...he released a full blast of fluid into her letting one last final moan. Breathing hard and perspiring, he rolled off Gabriella. She shifted towards him, he took her cradled her in his arms. Her delicate features against him turned his heart into mush.

They both layed there in silence for a short while, just enjoying the warmth of each others body, there wasn't really a need to speak. Drake was the one to break the silence.

"You have to be getting back soon."

"I know." Gabriella said casually, her fingers slowly tracing the patterns across his chest. "Drake. " She said. "How come you're so strong? you've only been a vampire of a year."

"Well" Drake started ,quite flattered at her comment, "i was bitten by one of the head of the clans its very rare but it happens, you gain your strength ten times faster than those who are bitten by regular ones."

Gabriella couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy, She had been a volten for five hundred years and Drake was already her match. As if reading her mind, Drake said, "Don't worry i would never use my strength against you ."

She looked up at him. "Drake-"

"Gabby listen." he was looking down at her cradling her even tighter. "I can't bear another long period of seperation from, i'll lose my mind."

"Well we have to." Gabriella said. "For our sake and for the sake of the-"

"Aren't you listening!?" Drake sat up looking intensley and searchingly into her eyes.

"Drake our kinds are in war ...one that seems will last forever!"

"I don't care!"

"What do you mean you don't care you're the one who went and got yourself bitten!"

"I wouldn't have if you had told me you were a volten vampire."

"oh so its my fault now?"

"In a way, YES!!"

Gabriella looked at him, stunned and speechless , he was blaming her for this? Drake sighed and lowered his head. "Don't you see?" His tone was calm and sober "If you had told me you were a volten, i never would have joined the opposing side and then i find out later, after i'm already a grazedan." He looked back at her. "You can't imagine the anger i felt, for myself, for you....that you would keep such a thing away from me. I had made just the stupidest choice of my ife....because that choice kept me away from you."

By this time her eyes glistened with unshed tears, Drake always wondered how she always kept them from falling and more importantly why she did. "I was filled with so much anger for you, i- i just wanted to show you how hurt i was, that's why i battled against you , rivaled with you for everything, it wasn't the easiest thing to do Gabby, but christ, i was so mad. Thats why i broke up with you so coldly."

"But now." His hand reached for her's "Now I realize that that was the biggest mistake of my life." He took a deep breath. "Gabriella i love you". He looked at her, the tears in her eyes...they were falling!

Gabriella looked at Drake hot tears falling down her eyes. "Drake I"

"I didn't realize..."

"I know." his hand brushed affectionately against her hair. "I want you back Gabby."

"You know that's impossible." she said between tears. Drake tried not bring himself to tears. "No one has to know , Gabby.No one knows of my layer here but you. We can be together here, we can sneak away together!"

She laughed softly . "You'll have to give me time to think about it Drake. but right now i have to go before the sun is fully out."

"Ok" Drake smiled. Giving her knowing look which meant, that he knew she would come back to him...after what they just said there's no way she could resist any longer. They spoke heartily for a while over a refreshing glass of rich red blood.

They were now both on the same building they had met. The other grazedans had finally given up and left. Drake held her hands to his chest looking lovingly at her. "I guess this is goodbye" . he said.""For now." Gabriella added smiling slyly up at him. A smile spread across his face. "For now." he repeated, and with that he lifted her up her feet and gave her on last longing kiss before letting her free. "I'll always love you babe" he said.

"Always." She repeated looking passionately up at him."and some how never." Smiling softly she leaped way into the dawning night.

Drake gazed after his beloved, vowing to himself that some how he would make her he's and he's alone. Some how they would be together once again.

A contest entry

well? whatdaya think? its my first story with an erotica in it.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • EtherealButterfly
    May 21, 2007
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    loved it! Keep writing! Thanks 4 entering my contest!


  • Delfishie
    May 19, 2007

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    hmmm

    The paragraphs need better spacing to make this story more readable. One line of blank space between every single paragraph would work WONDERS in making it more readable. Also, if you corrected the grammar errors.

    You write characters really well. Both Gabbie and Drake were very believable and their actions went with their established personalities. Excellent job with that, and the emotions that they both had. You're a very good character writer and I enjoyed reading a strong, character based piece.

    The only way this could better? Grammar and paragraphs. Like any good chef knows, presentation is almost as important as quality.


    • Taboo Pixie
      May 19, 2007
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      lol...thanks alot..you're not the only one telling me about the grammatic errors..just been to lazy to get at it..but i'm glad you likd it anyways


  • katiefran
    May 9, 2007
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    very, very nice! loved your writing! thanks for entering my contest!


  • Gbanger
    May 7, 2007

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    "Intruding blood suckers such as Grazedan and Cripthin vampires."You should really differentiate between the type of vampires. Is there an outstanding characteristic that makes them different? If so exploit it. We need differences if the story is to be expressed in it's full extent.
    "It wasn't very hard for her to fight them, for she had been a Volten Vampire for five hundred years now. Her skills were flawless and she hardly met any one who was her match.
    " Try to bring these two sentences into one because, currently, the way it reads you make it sound that she's only that strong because she is that type of vampire. Try re-writing it as such.... 'It wasn't hard for her to fight the for her skilsl were flawless and she hardly met anyone she couldn't defeat, that and the fact that she had been a Volten Vampire for five hundred years now.'
    "Gabriella never looked more beautiful. Her long dark hair floating in the wind, and the way the moon light glistened on her smooth flawless skin did wonders to her darkened, tanned complexion." Again create this into one sentence.
    "He took a deep breath as his eyes... passionate nights when she was he's." This is a beautiful paragraph but 'he's' should be 'his'.
    "He was forced to sink his fangs into his lower lips,for the fact that wanting her was forbidden made him want her even more...for he was a grazedan vampire now..." You should re-write this as well, try... 'He forcefully sunk his fangs into his lower lips for the desire he felt for her was too overwhelming and the fact that she was forbidden to him since now he was a Grazedan vampire just fueled that lust within him.'
    I love how they begin to tease it other as Drake confronts her, it's very vindictive. I love how it seems that Gabriella has to remind herself that it was in the past and the way she denies the present.
    This is a fabulous character, Drake. He at first seemed an initial consent character in a way of only beginning the story but you brought through the past so strongly that there was no real need for desciption. Great work.
    Ha! I love the entrance of the Grazedans, it was perfectly fitted and gave just an extra punch into an already 'fit-to-burst' scene.
    "It was a wild goose chase..." From this part onwards you should try to break it up a bit more, it's a pain for those of us with glasses and bad eyesight to read.
    The dialogue between the two lovers makes them seem like an old couple who still hold the secret of lust within them. Gives a deep sense of meaning to an otherwise flat dialogue. Fabulous.
    This whole story has an urgency in it that would at first make it feel like you were rushing the story but really it's not the story, it's the characters. Drake is impulsive with Gabriella is compulsive. Drake has no reason while Gabriella has all the reason in the world and yet they seem so similar in who they really are. Contradictory in contrast and magnificent in context. Wonderful work.
    "Gabby" I love the little pet name that Drake begins to use and how sincere his characters becomes when he uses it. Also, for a first erotica I thought it was very good. Those who write erotica too much make it seem over-used. This is fresh and has a certain innocence to it that runs in with the whole feel and mood fo the story.
    I can't even begin to explain how amazingly you have written these characters in with such a small time plot. You give them everything they need with a only a touch of indignation on the side. They're both too real to be effected by substantial circumstances and it shows how well you can develop characters within themselves. I'm impressed.
    This was no only sexual but highly sensual in words. Again I'm going to say it such innocence and elegance in it that makes it so right for this story.
    The ending of this is perfect. How suddenly the tension flares up again and all the boundaries they so daringly crossed and again laid in their rightful place.
    This is a masterpiece in my eye. The perspective was inter-changing within the emotions and it complimentated the salted feel of the story.
    I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Great work.

    8.75/10


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    April 30, 2007

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    Good story

    While reading this I noticed some typos, but you also use (he's) when it should be (his) That you should correct, it was very distracting. I enjoyed this vampire romance. Thank for entering this contest.

    Andy


  • asthray.heart
    April 29, 2007
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    Good job, thanks for entering and good luck.

    Lady Madeline.


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    April 17, 2007

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    Thanks you for your submission, you did very well. It interests me enoug to make me want to read more of it, and I will when it's available and when I have time. I'll let you know at the end of the contest if this story becomes a finalist.

  • Beckairi
    April 16, 2007
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    This is a really good concept, except for a few gramatical errors it's great....

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