My knee’s are pressed against my chest, my arms tightly wrapped around them, I rock back and forth. Mumbling, and singing quietly to myself. Losing my sanity slowly, becoming numb, not knowing what to do.
He turned me into this thing. This thing that does nothing but cry, this thing that’s heart broken and is scarred for life. This thing that will let no one in.
I continue to rock, balled up in the corner of my bedroom floor. Gotten used to the cold wooden flooring, I feel nothing. Just the rocking and my breathing.
A small knock on my door makes me turn my head, having me look away from the bright pink wall that I’ve been staring at for hours.
The knocking continues, a shift of feet and then a voice, his voice. “L-L-Larissa?” He stutters out. I cower against the wall, the tears recover my face almost immediately.
The door opens and I see his black Etnies first enter the room, I whimper quietly. Heartbroken, and not knowing what to do.
He gasps and places his hands on top of my back, I’m able to feel his hands clearly, I damn the thin material of the shirt.
“Larissa, wh-why? Why are you doing this to yourself?” He questions while running his hands through my worn dirtied hair.
“Go away.” I cough out, not wanting to be near him.
“Larissa, baby,” He sighs. I love when he calls me that. “I’m so sorry.”
I turn my head to face him, I can barely make him out from the darkness of the bedroom. No light. I don’t like the light anymore. He made me hate the light.
The tears fall down my cheeks and I cry out to him, letting him hear the pain that he’s caused me, although, he’ll never feel it. I scream out in frustration, piercing the air and our silence. Hurting his ears, wanting to deafen him. I hate him, and I love him.
He shakes my body back and forth, I scream again, he places his hands to his ears. I have to get to him, I need to.
“Larissa, shut up!” He yells out while grasping me and pulling me into his warm embrace.
I fight him. I fight his strong arms and I fight him with all of my might. I pull away from him and smack him dead across the face. I look to my hand and question myself if I had really done that. I finally hurt him.
He looks shocked for a moment, and then brings my hand to his face. The now red spot, and rubs my hand against it. I pull back and strike him again. I hate this.
He stands up, almost looking disgusted. He sighs deeply and stares at me. I glare back, pulling my legs back to me. I hug myself.
“Larissa, I didn’t mean to fucking hurt you,” He tells me quietly. “Not like this.”
I glare back at him. “Well you did, you killed me.”
He says nothing, which leads to silence. It’s quiet for minuets, the silence is unbearable. I need to hear his voice, but at the same time I want his lungs to collapse so that I never have to hear him again.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I…you know I love you. She was just-”
“She was there, I wasn’t. So you fucked her. I get it.” I spit out.
“That’s not it. I told you…I was thinking about you the whole time.”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “That makes it a hell of a lot better.”
“Look, I didn’t mean to. I just…wasn’t thinking.”
I wipe the tears from my face angrily. “Whatever, don’t talk to me. Go fuck your sluts.”
“Come on, baby. Don’t be like that…”
“I’m not your fucking baby.” I tell him while slowly uncoiling myself from my ball and standing up to face him. “Don’t call me what I’m not.”
“Ba-I mean, Larissa, just please, talk to me-”
I cut him off. “Shut up.”
I leave my room, for the first time in days. I’m stiff, I have to pee, and my stomach is screaming for food. I should’ve stayed on the floor. The house is dark, I like the dark.
“Get out of my house.” I say flatly, hearing his footsteps behind me.
“But-”
“But nothing, get out of my house before I call the police.” I tell him while reaching for the phone which sits on the wall of my kitchen.
He walks in front of me and grasps my hands in his, I slightly pull away, frightened. “Larissa, I’m sorry. I love you.”
I turn my head away, showing no expressions. “Get out of my house.” I pause. “You’ve done enough damage.”
He’s leaves silently, leaving me standing in my kitchen, alone and hurt all over again.
I hurry back into my bedroom, closing and locking the door. I return to my corner, and go back into the same exact mental state as before.
I hug my knee’s against my chest, and rock slowly, mumbling and singing quietly to myself. Knowing my sanity is gone, knowing I’ve become numb. “Let me rise, let me fall, let me breathe. I wanna lose control, I’m not afraid to lose it all. Let me break, let me crawl. ‘Cause I’ll get back up again, if you let me fall.”
Author notes
“Let me rise, let me fall, let me breathe. I wanna lose control, I’m not afraid to lose it all. Let me break, let me crawl. ‘Cause I’ll get back up again, if you let me fall.” Let Me Fall-Alexz Johnson
Basically, this is just me venting and letting my emotions out...and calming myself, atleast...trying to....
A contest entry
- The most sadess or happess time in your life by strawberry26.
100 points, ended April 18, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Powerful sad piece
I would of liked to see a more positive outcome for the person in distress. It might be good as a part of the venting therapy -
Strong emotional vent !
This was intense to read. I can see someone behaving like that - Larissa I mean - although I think it is extreme, and more damaging to her than him. Although, its hard to control your emotions in a situation like that.
It was well written - realistic - sad! I was a little let down at the end. I expected, wanted more to happen; more of a resolution or something that wrapped it up. But as you stated in your note, this was more of an exercise for venting than anything else. It was clear, flowed nicely, and made me think (as well as cringe) about similiar times in my past relationships. That makes it a success, I guess. Thanks!!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 2, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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It was great, but to be honest all these sad stories about girls crying over a freakin' guy or beating themselves up about it because he cheated on her or whatever is getting a little tiring and depressing.
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wowwwwww i liked it silly minnie great job
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Oh, this was sooo good Gaby! I could never write like this!!
But, are you alright? :_: I'm worried. *hugs*
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OH YES!
Now this is fantastic! You managed to get me inside you a bit; make me feel some of your pain. A few places, especially at the very start, maybe shorten to punch even harder if possible, this from my opinion. Have done as you have, put down feelings, preventing ... well, in any case you have turned a bad situation into an unbelievable piece of art.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5.
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wow this was awesome great job i liked it
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all hun are you okay?? I hope so this was a wonderful write tho 
you are so very bright and taented And I just hope you no how much we all love you dear 
this was so great but very saddddddd I love ya girlgod bless and take care okay 
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Let things out, my gabykins... it's soothing, and you end up creating works of art
I.. sort of know what happened, and out of that bad experience, I'm glad this piece of art really came out I... always think that from the greatest pains, we learn the greatest lessons as well... so I KNOW this will make you stronger
powerful piece, Gaby
Thanks for sharing this!
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good work hun
this is great sad but yet a great workkkkkkkkkk huggges and kisses to you D:keep up the good work hun
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Do I need to worry?
Anyway...this is really great!! Sad, but great.
I hope you're okay...
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Wow...thats an awesome story. So sad! I feel for the main char (I REALLY hope it wasnt based on you) ~hugz~ KEEP WRITING!
~Aurora~
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*hug*
awww....thats kinda how i was after jacob...cept i him my heart break...this was sad but very well writen *hug again*
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