Brett and I

"You gotta be kidding me," Brett sighed to himself as he looked at the man next to me up and down.

"What did you say?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow. The last thing I wanted to deal with was he criticism.

"Nothin'," Brett answered, waving a hand as if to shun off my question. "So this is Steve, huh? Well Sarah's told me a little about you." I rolled my eyes mentally, hearing the emphasis on 'little'.

"Oh, likewise. And it's Stephen, not Steve," Stephen responded coolly while extending his hand towards Brett. After a brief hesitance, Brett accepted it, shaking with forced politeness.

I could read Brett's mind. He looked at Stephen with disdain, and I could see his reasoning. Stephen was not like the boyfriends I had ever gone out with before. Most colors he wore were black, his hair gelled into a mess of tangles, ears pierced with 4 inch gages. Brett and I both had to agree, Stephen was not my "cup of tea", to say the least. But when you are an incoming freshman and a junior is interested in you, you jump for the offer, even if he is not the most common guy you would go for. Besides, I was beginning to like Stephen. He turned out to be even more sensitive than I was. Go figure.

Turns out about 3 months later Stephen and I split. Brett had not been sympathetic when I wanted to talk about Stephen a couple of days after the break up.

"You know you can do way better then him."

I sniffled in defiance. "It has nothing to do with if he is better than me or not. It has to do with if we are compatible and if he is the right one or not. Besides, what would you know about someone being more right for you then someone else? You've never even had a girlfriend, unless you count your right hand maybe. And even if you did, you would have no idea of how I'm feeling."

There was a brief pause. "Shit," I mumbled into the receiver. Brett plus teasing equaled more teasing back. Brett plus girlfriend teasing equaled sore spot. "Look, I wasn't serious. I'm just not in the mood to defend him and I didn't mean to bring this on you. I'm just mad and-"

"I have to disagree with you. I have so had a girlfriend. Well, it was a day relationship but, you know."

"Oh yeah? With who?"

"With you," Brett said with a hint of sarcasm. "Remember? When we went to that park? You held my hand. That was.. pretty couple-ish if you ask me."

"HA!" I snorted. "You mean when my mom, you, Kim and I went to the park when we were, what, 4 years old? Sorry hun but that does not count as a relationship." He and I both understood through a silent and mutual agreement that I had hurt his pride with bringing up his solo past, and we were now avoiding the conversation.

"Oh yeah it did. You were practically all over me," he said teasingly.

"Uck, because we saw those fake statues of dinosaurs and I thought one was going to eat me. I held your hand for emotionally and moral support."

I imagined his smirk. "You're pathetic, you were like 4 or something, how would you know that you needed emotional support?"

I laughed. "I'm the pathetic one? I'm not the one pretending to have had a girlfriend when I was 4."

"You know you couldn't resist me then and you can't resist me now."

"You're ridiculous, Brett, and I have to go."

"Yeah, alright, see yah," Brett sighed, hanging up before me. I rolled my eyes. He always had to beat me when it came to hanging up first. I never even got a word in edge wise to say "bye".

The truth was, ever since I could remember Brett and I had been the best of friends. My mom Deb and his mom Kim were co workers at a place called Hewitt. Brett is older then me by 6 months, and it's right up his ally. He loves to act more manly than anyone I know, and most of the time he succeeds. But he can only go so far.

It's the time that has kept our relationship strong. Although we would joke about it, Brett and I would never seriously consider being together. As agreed, we had decided that it would definitely be like non-biological incest.

There was a time when we were 10 that we thought we would kiss and see for sure if this was the case.

"So.. we should just.. do it, right?" he had asked awkwardly.

"Sure." It was a new experience for both of us. I remember the palms of my hands sweating, which never happens. It took a lot to ge me nervous.

He closed his eyes tightly, as I did as well. There was the brief moment of hesitance, and I could feel him closing in on me. I could hear his hard breathing right before we kissed. Inches away were his lips, and I had never felt the urge to smile and throw up at the same time until that very moment. I finally decided enough was enough and to just get it over with when the unthinkable happened: I sneezed. I opened my eyes quickly, staring at him and seeing that some spittle had gotten on his lips. We both stared and began to crack up. We knew it was fate that we should never even consider kissing again, for fear of snots running down the other's lips.