i dont have a title :) (poem)



Zealous boy walks

Away from his life

Knives help end his pain....

Zany girl falls apart.

Inside her heart,

Many wars rage

Manipulating her brain.

Every cell of her body

Rears up in pain as

Memories of him

Attack her soul

Never again to be normal

Never again to love.

Author notes

This is just a (accrostic) poem i found in one of my hundreds of notebooks recently. Its about how i would feel if (insert name here) died and how he would most likely die, sadly.
please feel to voice your opinion about it!! thanks!

Please tell me what you think(no matter how harsh). thanks! :)

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem but to me it feels unfinished. I think you should take another look at it. If he died then wouldnt he want her to be happy =)


    • Blu3Rose
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      well if he was using knives, that infers he was committing suicide, so he thinks no one cares and there's no point in living, if no one gives a shit about him.
      i guess i could add on to it, but that would just ruin the acrostic part of it(btw, the name of the guy i used in the accrostic, i now hate, and i realized it actually refers to the guy i like now. and i wrote this before i knew him. weird, huh?)
      but thanks bunches for the comment!!
      ~Blu3Rose


  • Asfand
    July 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    if i could make a suggestion for a title, i'd say how about

    NEVERENDING PAIN


    • Blu3Rose
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      hmm...yeah, that actually sounds good. thanks

  • Asfand
    July 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    AWWWW! this was beautifully written. U composed it with exceptional craftsmanship - i dont care if that is not a word. It was sinmple and wonderful! good job!!

1 - 5 of 5