Well it all started when I was about six.My dad was a real ass hole.He was good dad at one point and time that is.He always got me what I wanted thing for my sister and my mom got new rings when she asked for it.
Then he started running the roads and going to bars and sleeping with other wemon.God did I hate him for doing this to me and my mom and myself.
I remember him one time coming home we just got done watching the lion king.My sister fell asleep on the love seat and Iwas still up playing dolls.And mom was make tea for all of us.Mom was woried about that son of a bitch.Why I have no clue.
Well we was still up watching another movie something mom liked.Then we heard aloud thump on the pouch It scared the hell out of me and mom Tarcy was still sleeping so mom picked her up and moved her up to the bedroom and I followed her up the stairs.
She looked at me with fear in her face and said"stay here amanda I will be right back okay dear"she said to me I knew what was going to happen.That night because she never put me and tracy up stairs by our selfs I was so scared.
I heard mom open the door then I herad real loud "Bitch"I knew who thatwas dad I hate him he is going to hit her I no it.
The door slamed behind them both and I heard mom yelling stop it stop it please"I went to the railing and sat on that pretty red carrpet on the staires and just watched as he beat my mom over and over.All I could do was hold my hand over my month and cry.
I knew I colud not save her I felt useless like I was nothing but dirt.Then I felt a hand on my shoulder it was tracy.
She sat down behind me and said"what is going on"I just said"shh.."
She got scared and ran to the bath room I was scared he would come after us next but lucky for us our grandma came to bring us pizza.
And dad left we never seen him for another 3 months.And even then he never did change.
This is a ture story that happend to me when I was 7 i think I hope you like it I changed some names tho.. and for my mom she hurt her arm that night and got 1 sitch above her eye..
A contest entry
- Write it Up. by asthray.heart.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wow.. I'm sorry about this.. *doesn't know how to react* I hope you are doing well now, in fact, better than back when this happened.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us
GOod luck with the contest
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Not your best
The premise behind this wasn't bad, but it was really hard to understand with the grammer being the way it was. I'm just gonna list some problem areas for you to fix.
1.
He always got me what I wanted thing for my sister and my mom got new rings when she asked for it.
2.wemon ---- women
3.heard aloud thump on the pouch --- couch?
Anyway there are some more, but other than the first one, most of them are pretty minor.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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This is a good story, but I think you need to organise this in to sentences, and change some spellings, like slammed. Keep writing, Meggh xxxxxxxxxxxx
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This is really sad. I wish you could've elaborated more on why the dad did this, but either way, it was very touching. I'm truly sorry you had to endure this.
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wow this was nice i liked it because it was really sad for me to read but i liked it great job
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*Crazy* I am crazy
This is nice
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*sob*
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did your mom die?
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This was good, I am sorry that this happened to you, I hope all is okay. Thank you for entering this in my compition and I wish you well.
Lady Madeline.
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Wow...that was sad, girl. I don't know what to say...
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I'm sorry about what happened. It must have been hard to write. Don't worry sometime's writing is the only way that'll make you feel better. Great work. Nicely written. Keep up the good job.
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great job
this is very sad and emotional i had a similar childhood so i can relate, i thought it was also very well written
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oh, eva.... this was really sad. I'm sorry that all this happened to you... I can relate to it easily. Take care
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holy cow, that's an intense piece. thanks for sharing with all of us and enlightening us to some of the things that families go through. very eomtional and well writen.
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