She sat there, on her, her heart broken into a million pieces. Her boyfriend, the love of her life had just died in a car crash, two days ago. Jessica Walsh was her name and, she felt like she was dieing inside.
Jess, as her friends called her, had been in her bedroom for the past two days. Her family and friends were very worried about her. She only came out of her room to use the bathroom, that was all. She didn't even eat, she was too depressed
Her skin was pale, but, she never went outside anyway. She had lost a little bit of weight, so she ws thinner, but not by to much.
Early in the day, she had been thinking of killing herself. What for, it was just a boyfriend, rite? She would have another later in her life. There was something that nobyelse knew, he wasn't just her boyfriend, he was her fience.
There was a knock on her door, "Jessica, do yu want something to eat? You haven't eaten anything at all in two days, please come and eat with me and your father." It was her mother, she worries about her the most out of every one.
Jessica went to the dorr and opened it. "No mom, I'm really hungry. Go on and have dinner, I'm okay, trust me."
Her mom nodded silently and was about to walk away when she pulled her daughter into a hug. "I'm so worried about you honey. I know it's hard to lose a loved one, but when time gose by, the wound will heal and you will be able to move on with your life."
She gave a small smile to Jess and walked back down the hall into the dinning room. Jess could hear her parents talking but, she couldn't make out what they were saying. Even thought she was pretty sure it was about her.
Jess closed her bedroom door and and sat on her bed looking out into the front garden and the rain falling on all the petals of the flowers. She sighed deeply and fell back on her bed and went to sleep.
A few hours later, it was 1:30 in the morning, Jess woke up gasping for air. She just had a nightmare where she saw her fience Mark, get killed in the accedent.
She got up to the bathroom to take some sleeping pills, she didn't want to stay up for another hour trying to get back to sleep. She took two and went back to bed.
Another hour later, she woke up again. She went back to the bathroom and took two more pills, then went back to bed. Two hours later the samething happened.
"The hell with this. If I want to sleep for a long time, then I'll sleep forever." With that said, Jess took the whole bottle of sleeping pills.
She took there for a few minutes then fell on the floor. The amount of pills she took was slowly killing her. It was hours before her mom found her there laying on the bathroom floor.
She called to her husband down the hall. Then she used her cell phone and called the hospital. The medical team came in and said Jessica had died around 4:45 A.M. by an overdose of drugs.
A few weeks later, Jessica's family and friends had moved on, but not completely. They will never forget her and all the things that she had helped them with.
Jessica Welsh would live forever in their memories.
A contest entry
- Mourning by kenddrraaa.
350 points, ended April 15, 2007, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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oh that was so sad, my grandfather shot himself and my dads brother who I never met killed himself. I feel so sorry for people who hurt and suffer so much that they take their life.Good story though a few spelling errors.
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SaD MUCH? I LIKE THIS THOUGH! iT'S VERY well written! Nice job, just a few spelling errors though
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This is a good story line with some nice work describing the situation. Death of a loved one is a tough thing to deal with and not eating, keeping to herself, etc., is well told.
The things that hurt you:
Words misspelled break the story line or twist the meaning:
dieing=stamping from a metal die cutting machine
"too depressed" (too= also, excessivly)
to much (now you want the "too")
rite (right)
fience (fiancee)
she worries (worried)
samething (same thing)
A lot of short, chopped, sentences.
It is difficult to believe a family would have gotten over her death in a couple of weeks. Gone one with their lives, yes, but not over her death that quickly.
This is really a deep story that has a lot of potential. I do hope you correct the few simple things then expand this, digging even deeper into the feelings of both Jess and possibly even her family. If you make changes let me know, I would love to read what happens.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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I LIKED it a lot
Beautifully written 
Nice descriptions TOO!!!!!!!
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....interesting
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This was interesting. But there were spelling mistakes here and there, and also, usually a family doesn't get over a death in just a few weeks, it takes many months. But i liked the story Good job, good luck, and thanks for entering.
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