It had been almost two days since they came for the last one. Ryan Taley had long since given up squirming against the bonds that held him against the wall. The characteristic thumping of legs on concrete echoed down the hallways of the school - well, it /used/ to be a school - and Ryan slumped.
He had never expected to go in this way. As a soldier for the UN Peacekeeping forces, he had always expected to be taken down in battle. But this was something else - he was a prisoner. Not just any prisoner - prisoner of the ...
Well, he supposed they could be referred to as "ants". But these were way beyond the millimeter creatures that plagued households the world over. Nuclear weapons had released millions of liters of radioactive air over jungles like the Amazon and the Congo - it was a few short months before the results came crawling out of the dense green foliage.
They were massive - the smallest was about the size of a Scottish Terrier. They were fearsome creatures, with spiky legs, pincers and the type of mouth only dreamed about in horror films. But what got to Ryan the most was their transparency. Their bodies were held together by hydrostatic forces - they were basically large, and strong, bags of water. Everytime they came between him and a light, he could see through them, their internal organs and glands...
The sight made his skin crawl and his stomach heave. But he had long since emptied it out over the floor of the gymnasium, and somewhat on himself. He was trapped in a cocoon that the monsters had weaved all around him and the other four members of his unit. It was something like a spider's web, but it was harder than steel. To the trapped Ryan, anyway.
They were trapped for only one reason. And Ryan was reminded of that reason every time he looked towards the floor, where the bones of his friends lay scattered. He was food - and he had come to accept it. Humanity had been at the top of the food chain for far too long, and natural selection had brought forth a new predator.
The door swung open. The hallway beyond the gym was dark, and all Ryan could see were shifting shadows. But then one crawled forward, the footsteps muted on the padded floor. Then more dog-sized ants entered the room, and the sound changed to that of a soft rainstorm, and then the ants were at his feet, pulling themselves up and undoing the bonds around Ryan.
It was time. With a stubborn silence - his last show of rebellion - Ryan was pulled out of his cocoon and flung towards the floor. Hundreds of ants swarmed over him, eager for their next meal. As the jaws of the brutes closed around Ryan's arms and legs, his stubbornness wavered, and he screamed.
Author notes
Yeah... Don't ask...
A contest entry
- ANTS! by Delfishie.
175 points, ended April 14, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think...
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow I agree with all the comments and i like short storys and i just loved it the detail was kool and ants.. eww I hate ants gross
good job I seen you won silver 
and you deserved it good job and god bless
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hee!
Great short story! I really felt the tension of the character and I LOVED the sorta 1970s horror film plot twist. Oh, is there anything waves of radiation CAN'T do? I don't think so.
Heh, I should write a short story about a midget who purposely exposes himself to waves of radiation to grow taller, but it doesn't work and instead he becomes a superhero. It'd be awesome.
Great story. I really enjoyed it. -
Gulp
Sort of a take on Spiderman, but not Superhero material. The yuckiest part is their transparancy, that would be gross. It's funny (ironic funny~not HaHa funny) that people should slide so quickly from one end of the food chain to the other. Especially enjoyed the end where his resolve failed
Best wishes in the competition, this extremely good to be a short short.
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Oh my...
That's worthy of the King's horror. So, what's good and what's bad?
Good: The plot, the single charcter, which for such a short piece was quite developed. And the descriptions of the ants.
Bad: You could have put more detail into Ryan's death, and into the setting. But that's my opinion.
Beginning: 3/5 because it sort of contradicts later in the story with the footsteps that are "muted on the padded floor".
Ending: 4/5 It ended well with Ryan's death. It was simple, quick, and too the point (which is what made it so good). No dragging it out. Kudos.
Characters: 4/5 As I said, Ryan was very well developed for such a quick short story.
Plot: 4/5 Terrifyingly realistic. Reminds me of a movie I saw once.
Language: 4/5 Because you only used the word "massive" once.
Dialogue: 1/5 There wasn't any.
TD
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Trinity Dragon
Erm yeah. The corridor outside was concrete, and the gym was padded. I see no conflict.
Dialogue: What, exactly, is Ryan supposed to do? Bargain for freedom? Tell a bad joke? lol...
Thanks for the comments. -
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No Conflict
One: I do not remember reading about padded gym flooring. But now it makes sense when you mention it.
Two: I was not complaining about dialogue. But I can't rate something well... or at all... if it isn't there.
Three: You're welcome.
TD
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I liked the descriptions and the way it was put together. Ants....Hmm they are a bit creepy...any who Good job good luck in the contest
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Blackwings
Ants are creepy indeed. But I happen to like them
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