Nerah was standing at the window, eyeing the red sky. Any time now, the lightning storm would begin. She thought of all the people still out over the fields - they had better get in quickly. They were still new to the plague, and had only seen the milder versions. This one, she could feel, would be big. Humans had gotten better at projecting them - and now very few worlds were safe.
Nerah turned and looked back into the room. Krila and Jesp were arriving home. They were twin brother and sister, and were at the ages required by the Palace Guard for entry. Nerah's family had always produced strong Guards, and she had every intention of upholding that tradition. It was the last mark she could leave on the face of history. Her husband had died years ago, in a Human assault, and the twins were all she had left. Seeing them off into the rigorous training programmes of the Guard would be difficult, but it was a sacrifice she was prepared to make. There could be no selfishness in war.
Jesp muttered something about a friend, and left the room, his green tail slumped. He had seemed very depressed these last few days, but refused to say why. Nerah was worried - Jesp was usually upbeat, cheerful and humorous. But she respected his privacy and didn't go poking. Krila walked over to Nerah, her yellow scales gleaming orange in the red light. She, unlike Jesp, was smiling.
"Mother Nerah," she said, with a slight bow. "I bring good news. The Watcher at Nesk reports that the storm is already fading."
"Indeed?" Nerah was surprised. She had been sure of her feelings, that the storm would be powerful. "How sure are they?"
"Very sure. The outer edges of the cloud are already dissipating. It seems we shall be spared from the lightnings this time."
"So it seems, Krila. But Humans are wily creatures. They wouldn't abandon an attack."
"No - maybe fate abandoned it for them. Despite their advancements, their devices are still prone to failure."
Nerah nodded slightly. "It just felt so real . I was sure I felt the energies gathering."
Krila shrugged, her wings mirroring the motion of her shoulders. "Perhaps it failed on the threshold. The Watcher can not be sure."
Nerah nodded again, a little more convinced this time. Reports of failure were rare, but they happened.
"I need to go. Lecht will also want to hear the news."
Lecht was the local arms dealer, and a close friend of the family. When news of the storm hit, he had hid in fear. He, too, knew the true power of the red clouds. News of failure would be greatly appreciated. Nerah nodded towards the door, a smile on her face. She also knew that Krila loved hanging around the shop - the weapons were somehow fascinating to her. And if Nerah could do something to relieve tension, she would do it gladly - even if it was the tension of another. Krila bowed and left, and Nerah returned her gaze to the panorama outside the window.
Despite news that the storm was fading, the clouds seemed as red and as angry as ever. But then again, Nerah had never seen an attack fail before - perhaps this behaviour was normal. She turned from the window and headed to the food-preparation area. She suddenly felt very thirsty.
Mounted in the corner was a massive stone basin. Suspended over it by a thick thread, a pale blue crystal. Nerah grabbed a wooden mug as big as her claw, held it over the crystal, and waved at the crystal with her other hand. The crystal glowed, then released a torrent of cold water into the mug. She waved at it again, and the flow of water - and the glow - stopped. One of the conveniences of being a Spellcaster.
She was about to drink when she heard a loud explosion outside. She dropped the mug and ran - perhaps the Watcher was wrong after all, and the storm had hit. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.
Normally, the clouds released lightning bolts of ferocious intensity. They could be avoided by getting indoors, but usually did great damage to structures, technology, and Dragons unlucky enough to be caught outside.
This, however, was a scene from hell. Massive fireballs were streaking from the sky, and exploding upon contact with the ground. The flames penetrated everything, setting light even to the stone. Nerah could hear the screams of the wounded, could almost smell the burning flesh. The sky had darkened to an ugly black, the air was hazed, the village was on fire, and Nerah could do nothing to stop it.
She watched, paralysed, as Jesp's running form appeared on the street. He was heading for the armory, shouting and waving his arms. Krila appeared out the door, looked up and screamed - a fireball was heading directly for her. Jesp grabbed her - presumably to get her out of the way, but he was too late. The fireball hit, and incinerated them both.
She was rooted to the spot, unable to move. Unable to do anything but scream.
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"Wake up!" someone shouted. The voice sounded familiar, but Nerah didn't react. She writhed and screamed. Suddenly, powerful arms were holding her down. She opened her eyes, and looked straight at Jesp. She was panting.
"Wh... What happened?" She asked.
Jesp slowly let go. "You were having a nightmare."
"I... was?" Nerah asked.
Jesp nodded.
"But it felt so... real. "
Jesp shrugged. "You started screaming about a minute ago. You woke the whole house, too. Just how bad a dream was it?"
She was still in a state of shock. Could it be a premonition? The village was familiar - Antioch. And the storm technology was familiar too - they had started three months ago. Or was it just a bad dream?
It felt too real to just be a dream. It felt like the truth. And premonitions were the norm for Spellcasters.
Nerah stared at the ceiling. "Bad, my child."
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Author notes
Yeah... Okay so this is a story I wrote some time ago - long before my days on SW - and ... whatever. Take it as it is. Lol.
A contest entry
- Give me something good to read by illegalfairy.
600 points, ended April 12, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
So how was it? Could I have done something better?
Comments
-
crazy
This was good. i liked it. I loved the description of the "scene from hell". good job thanks for entering the contest -
Yikes.
Scene from the exodus: Fiery hail stones raining from the sky. Or from armeggeddon.
Good: Strong plot, we'll get to that later. And strong characters.
Bad: Setting. Atypically undescriptive, and hardly any backstory. You only give Nerah's story.
Beginning: 3/5 Average, though on the high end. It would have helped the reader to know where they were, and more than just that the clouds were red.
Ending: 3/5 Also average, but still on the high end. To me, it sounded a bit cliched with it being a dream and all.
Characters: 4/5 Looking at the central character, Nerah, this was very well written. Other characters are not so much, but are also not as important.
Plot: 4/5 Original, had an old-school feeling that one only sees in classic fantasy.
Language: 5/5 Only because I did not see the word massive at all. And the simple words added much more value to the story than a thesaurus would have.
Dialogue: 4/5 Not usually your strong point, but done well here. Usually, you tend to over emphasize things. Not so in this one, so keep up the style from here.
TD
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


