Jealousy

(Day 1.)

I remember......

I was put back a grade in third-secound grade. No one ever thought I would be anything, because I was stupid. My parents told me I was spoiled.

My sister was put forward a grade, and then placed in the gate program. They gave her awards once a month. "Best of the smartest student of the month award goes to, Liz! Most musically talented, Liz!" I never won any award, not even the one the teacher promised everyone would win once a year. Liz has an entire garage devoted to awards.

I have always been jealous of my sister. Its not really hard to tell why. Even when she made mistakes, she seemed able to make sure they were mistakes easily forgiveable, not very harmful and oh so funny afterwards. My mistakes where always harmful, got me in heeps of trouble and tended to never turn funny. "Hey, remember that time I got expelled for hitting the principals daughter? And you guys had to get me sent to another school? Yeah, I know. Its still not funny."

It didn't get better when we got older. My sister got married at nineteen, and she couldn't have picked a better husband if she'd waited fifteen years. He's smart, funny, good looking, a musician, sky, kind and everything you could ever want in a guy. I'm eighteen, and the only man I have manedge to attract is a jerk who seems to be under the impression that I'm willing to do booty calls. That is, was under the impression, before I set him strait. He's not really all that interested anymore....

So my point is that I can't help but be jealous of her. She got everything, made it look easy. I tried hard and never got anything right. So yes, I'm jealous of Liz. It doesn't mean I'm spoiled.

(Day 2.)

Today was my High school graduation party. I invited my sister. It was my freaking day. She came and looked for a house over the net. She's moving, and she made sure all my guests knew she couldn't give the games I had going her full attention because she was doing so.

After they left she stayed and looked still. I came and was playing the piano mainly because I was bored. She told me to stop because she was doing important things that she needed to concentrate on. My mom backed her.

Everything always has to be about her. It doesn't matter what the event is. Its always about her. It was supposed to be my day, and it wasn't because she made it about her.

After she left all my parents could talk about was her her her her her. She's going to college, she's moving. She's afraid my parents might not be proud of her, she's afraid of this she's afraid of that.

Everythings about her and nothing is ever about me. My parents aren't proud of me, they don't even see me. If I compleatly failed, it wouldn't matter. They'd shrug it off, because they don't expect me to suceed and so it wont be a suprise if I fail. She's the smart one, she's the one everyone catres about.

I love my sister, but sometimes I really really don't like my sister. Sometimes I think that she gets everything, and then she gets to say I'm spoiled if I complain.

It was suposed to be my day.