Another Bracelet on My Hand
By: Bedig Hindoyian
I had one better than gold
But that looked so old
Decided to sold
And get a new one
Where all my stories will be told
My pains will unfold
When I carve and am done
I will enjoy all the fun
An armlet so fine and original
With no spangles pearls nor gems
I went to the store
I started to explore
Something that wont rust anymore
Something strong hardcore
Something that will be worth paying for
My eyes caught the hang of something new
There tears fell like dew
Over its shiny blade
And cracked into tiny beads
And small like rice seeds
With wooden handle
So soft like a melting candle
I can burn I can light
I can cut I can surge
No metal no gold no iron
No titanium will endure
I have to remove the old
Its so bold
So I took it home
Hid it somewhere in my dome
That glittering piece of chrome
At night when all were in a pleasant sleep
I took out my new mate
I took of my desecrate
Oh how it felt great
The new bracelet that I started to create
The old I ripped it off
My skin and flesh
Blood so red and flesh
Its getting late
I have to cut it straight
There I began to drift
The sharp blade down my hand
And reached down where veins intersect
There I started to dissect
Recalling all our memories
I how bitter it felt
How sharp was the knife
As if it took away my life
I found what I was in need
I new bracelet, yes indeed
Soon the full moon will appear
I can proceed
I can go on carving the letters
For now thats what matters
Before my body falls and shatters
Let me leave of some natural tattoos
Blood replaced the rubies
I made it like a ringlet swift and round
Without uttering a single sound
I had to forget you somehow
Someway I have to get over you one day
I made became a goldsmith
My own designer and jeweler
I made its a wristband
With your name
So memories will be held in fame
I made a new slash
Straight like a dash
I took off a big mash
And threw it into the trash
That was the remains of the old
Now I made something new
Quenching my teeth
My fist locked in clasp
The only relieves I had
Were tears flowing so bad!
It felt bitter it felt bad
It looked pale so sad
But when I looked into the cuts
I forgot you wholly
As if you were a dream so unreal and fake
And when I was awake
By the pain
I only had a tiny memory of you
Symbolizing your torture
A new bracelet on my arm
Author notes
SELF INJURING IS A RELIEF
A contest entry
- Make Me Cry!!!! by McrSAVEDmyLIFE.
200 points, ended April 27, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Yes, self injuring is a relief. I am a cutter and I know that it is a relief. For me, cutting makes me feel alive, especially when I feel like I'm dead on the inside and outside. Everyone feels it differently. Lots of people don't understand that for some people, cutting themsevles is a relief and they just don't understand any of it. I know that I had some friends who asked me why I cut myself and what's so great about it. I had told them and they still didn't get it.
This flowed really well. Good job. -
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10q
well i used to cut everynight blades knives, glass, anything i can find if not pierce with needles blood was like relief when i saw it flow out of me
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this was good but slightly confusing. I mean, I thought the entire thing wa about a watch, but it's about cutting. I just didn't really feel any emotions come through.
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contented
each person has his/her own emotion status not everything is felt the same by everyone i highly respect your comment coz ur absolutely right
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Sad
Agree totally with your Author notes, as a former cutter. The external pain gives relief from the internal pain. Most people don't understand that you actually feel better for a little while. I got this impression also from your poem. The rhyme seems a little forced in places, maybe another rhyme scheme of free verse would tell your poignant story better. IMO
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Naw Peter is this true in the authors notes
This was really good, it flowed well and gave a new look on a depression/suicide kind of poem. Opened a whole new meaning.
Ebb -
I.. disagree with your author notes. but that is MY own personal opinion
This is powerful, and I read from the first word down to the last - I couldn't tear my eyes away from your poem.
I.. can relate with a few things... The gold bracelet that sold here - I tend to get tired of the things in my life..
I don't really sell them, often, I give them away
I also like having things to be unique to me - and.. I do agree that scars (or another bracelet in your arm) are quite unique, each scar is different from another, whether it be HOW you got it or the length or how deep it is.
Just two things
1. "Decided to sold" - should be "decided to sell" BUT if you are aiming to rhyme it... "decided it's better sold"? (just a suggestion ^_^ you may or may not go with it)
2. Your title says Another BRacelet on my Hand.. but the bracelet is on the arm... in the title, did you mean arm, or hand?
ANyway, thanks so much for writing this.
Welcome to StoryWrite ^_^ -
Very good but sad. well written, great flow..
Good job
Em
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