She had only entered his field of view for a second before she felt his wrath. Her hand was on her face, she could feel is as it swelled. It stung. “Where have you been?” She turned her head back toward the direction of her friend, her lover. Why hadn’t she just stayed with him? A lonely tear fell. Something grabbed her chin and she was soon facing her master once again. She winced and waited for more pain.
“Answer me wench!” He was so close to her now she could smell his disgusting breath. He gripped her chin tighter.
She tried to answer, but nothing came out. He pushed her violently to the ground. She scrambled to get up in time. She wasn’t fast enough. He kicked her back down.
“I don’t like for my slaves to disobey me,” he growled. He watched as she tried to get back up, he placed his foot on her back and leaned in toward her, “Do you know how many chances I’ve given you? You should be grateful.” He lifted her up by her hair and pushed her towards the large dark wooded door.
She sobbed silently as she walked. She didn’t understand why he was so strict, especially with her. He rarely ever beat the other slaves if they misbehaved. The door was now in front of her, she watched as he opened it before he pushed her inside.
Author notes
I made a part Two!!!! and she still has no name... >.>
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Here:
Her hand was on her face. It stung.
This was the only thing I found weird. It's...eh...I dunno...It sounds weird to me.... -
you've an interesting idea going here, some awkward phrasing makes it a little difficult to get into.
you display the emotions well through action and dialogue. good start.
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