The fires of anguish they have set in many hearts still burn. There is no way to quench the eternal flames that will follow them and their followers to their graves. I myself am doomed to live a life of pain and horror, of all of the unnecessary pain that we have caused. The horrified screams of those that we betrayed still ring in my ears, to forever haunt me. Those are one of the few things that I remember about much of my life.
The pain and the stress of it all got to be to much for me. I went in to a coma for almost a week. I have forgotten most of my life except the pain I caused those people who came to us for love and reassurance, who we then disposed of when we no longer had a use for them.
Now the only memories that I have are those nights in the abandoned graveyard and all of those black robes. Then there were the chants. I shall not put them on paper in fear that those who read this will use them for there own games and not for the reason they are here.
Following the chants was the initiations of all of those who were alone. I still have the taste of fresh blood on my lips. I still remember the prick of the blade against the bare skin of my wrist. Then there were the drugs that most did and the drinking. I never did those, I guess part of the rituals was to use them. At least then you didn't know whether what you saw was real or just your own twisted imagination.
Cold winds blew across the bare hillside, rattling the old limbs of the trees. Stones around the fire pit, where the rituals took place. The old stone foundation where a funeral chapel had once set. the stories said that a lot of people had died there one fall morning when the place caught fire. No one ever found out how the fire got started, no one really cared.
All these troubled souls are with me. Their deaths and pain tarnishes my hands and leaves deep unseen scars in my heart. Yet it is for those hat I hurt that I feel the most pain. Those are the ones who had to die. I am still trying to decide whether living with this pain, or dying by the hands of a friend, is worse. At least the way that they went, they didn't have to continue going through the rituals like I did.
All that I can ask is for your forgiveness. I am deeply indebted to you all. I pray that one day I can find forgiveness. Then and only then will I be able to forgive myself.
A contest entry
- Short Shorts by Delfishie.
175 points, ended April 7, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Wow.. I've read a number of beautiful stories with vivid images, and this has to be one of them.
this is amazing for how short and "simple" this is 
Thanks so much for sharing this with us
Greatly enjoyed reading
-
awsome
That was really good. i like the way you put your words so i can see the images in my head.
-
This has a distasteful feel about it, whether hallucination or psychotic ranting. The use of drugs seems to be a way to blur the line between reality and fantasy. There was a least one typo in this write. Rather than forgiveness I would prefer a comment about retribution and accountability.
beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
-
WOW
Well done! Well done indeed! I think that you have a way with words to build images into someone's head...which is sometimes hard to come by for a good amount of authors. Well done!
-
Thanks for the comments. If I get a chance to rewrite it, I will have to work on changing the repetative words.
-
wow
I didn't like this when I started reading it, but by the end of the story I was impressed. I really like the whole idea of it - an ex-satanist, isn't it?
The very concept of such a person would make a wonderful novel.
A note of criticism:
"There is no way to quench the eternal flames that will follow them and their followers to their graves. I myself am doomed to live a life of pain and horror, of all of the unnecessary pain that we have caused"
These two sentences both contain unnecessarily repetitive words. In the first sentence, 'follow' is used twice. In the second sentence, 'pain' is used twice. In a rewrite (if you do a rewrite), I'd suggest you replace one of the extra words.
Ugh. Can't think. So tired.
I did really enjoy the idea by the end. Great job. VERY creative plot idea.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
