Only for a moment did Jason think he had it bad... Then he met Kelly. The invisible wanna be good-at-something. Her parents divorced when she was young. For ten years, ten years she has to put up with different schools and friends trying to get high school by the horns. Nothing made Kelly the NERD, Sure she was attractive and coy you would think a girl like her would know someone and talk to people. No, Kelly wanted to be invisible. The one who is smart and shows it but does not get noticed...
In the Apartment:
"Mom, I just want to be normal!" Kelly yelled across their 2-room apartment. It was all they could afford after the Divorce. Kelly's mom was a waitress of 35 and she still looked lovely enough to be in Vogue magazine.
"Kelly, This is what's best and you know it. Please Kel, pack your things and get ready. We need to leave for the Airport in two hours!!" Jaime, Kelly's mom said with much agitation.
"Come on! You used your PAID vacation money for us to move. Tony has never gave you the money for a vacation!! You must have asked for the payment other than just going on the vacation!I HATE you!!" Kelly screamed slamming their bedroom door with an earsplitting SMACK!
~*~
On the plane:
"Passengers, please turn your cell phones off at this time. Thank you!" Said the automatic voice of the stewardess at the front of the plane.
"Great, I was wanting to get a call from Dad." Kelly cursed from under her breath. Unfortunately, someone heard.
"Really? I was waiting for a TEXT message from my Mom." Jason said interested in her looks.
"Oh, I hate my Mom. I just had to move with her in 'Bama. Now, I am going to Alaska. i used to have just so many friends."Kelly said making sure to give her mom a dirty look.
Still on the plane 3 hours later:
"Passengers, You may now turn on your cellphones and electrical appliances."
"Finally! I got the message in my 'box!" Kelly screamed.
"Hey Kel, just wanted to let you know that your hotel room is booked and ready. They have an indoor swimming pool too!! Well, I guess you can call me when you get this, See you soon Pumpkin! Love Dad" The message rang in Kelly's ears all through the plane ride.
~*~
In the Hotel Best Western:
"Kel, do you like your room?" Jaime asked making sure not to trigger Kelly's bad mood.
" I guess it is all right, can I go to the pool?" Kelly asked making it sound more like a statement than a question.
Author notes
You're Not Alone
A contest entry
- Use one of these songs for Inspiration by Mel-the-Believer.
100 points, ended April 26, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
This ends Episode 1 Please comment and teel me if you want to read more!!!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very jumpy but good if you added a bit more content it would be better
beginning: 3.
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Your story is interesting but it might jump around too quickly for as short as it is. I'm not entirely certain what's going on here, other than they're on a plane and Jason seems to have a crush on Kelly. I assume that's intended to be the main story line.
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Gbanger
Hey!! i was happy that you told me what i should do to fix my story!!
<3 always
Christa -
It seems you have gotten two good reveiws and one not so good, well I'm your third good one!
I liked how you wrote this, it is different and that can be both good or bad, but in this case its good!
I really hope you continue it, I'd love to read more.
Mem
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I like hoqw iiyt ends
i love how it ends and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
its awesomwe -
The way this is written is a bit awkward, though the whole movement and flow about it is quite easy-going, it gives it edge when there is barely any context or depth given in the short segments.
Also, it would benefit you to not capitalise entire words or add more than one exclamation mark. People should be able to recieve the feel and the mood by your writing not you use of letters or punctuation.
Still good work and good luck. -
This seems like it'll be a very interesting story. I'd enjoy reading more of this. Thanks for entering. Good luck. God Bless!
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