An Obvious Case Of Self Defense

Gretchen couldn't believe her fantastic good luck. She had found an affordable apartment located on the outskirts of the city. It was small but freshly painted and a new carpet had been installed. Her meager furnishings were just enough to keep the small space from feeling cramped. After the last rat ridden dump she had lived in she felt as if she had really scored a coup. She wasn't completely settled in yet but didn't feel any need to rush. Sometimes it simply took awhile to get the feel of a place and she would make the finishing touches as the perfect solutions came to her. Gretchen even smiled in the bathroom mirror while taking her medicine and getting ready to go to work. She was beginning to feel tip-top again.

The face staring back at her was pleasant enough though unadorned by make-up. Light brown straight hair, freshly washed and hanging like satin, cut in a practical style that she could comb and forget. Her hazel eyes were her best feature, framed by naturally arched brows. Her mouth was too small and looked a little prissy she thought, so she gave herself another big grin and turned to leave.

"I must remember to smile more" she told the cheerful reflection.

Returning home that afternoon, she sank luxuriously on the couch. It had been a chaotic day and the solitude of her own neat living room comforted her, but not for long. There was a lot of commotion out in the hallway and she tiptoed to the door and peered cautiously through the peephole. There were people moving in right across the hall! Oh mercy, what if they were a fighting couple or some party animals who attended the local University, she fretted. She didn't want her new found haven sullied.

Though she felt like a nosy Nancy, she stayed at her post, determined to find out how this situation was going to affect her life. A bunch of guys, laughing and talking, were carrying furniture and big boxes. Several of them were attractive and she didn't know that she was blushing. She saw a lot of electronic equipment being carried in, a computer, stereo components and things she didn't recognize. Gretchen was beginning to feel headachey and decided a meal was in order.

The next morning as she was locking her door, a young man stepped out of the newly occupied apartment. He looked at her and she looked down at the floor and walked hurriedly towards the elevator with painful shyness flaming her cheeks. Boys had never paid any attention to her anyway, a tongue tied plain Jane was all they saw. She realized she had forgotten to take her medicine but was feeling fine and had no intention of running into electronics guy again. He would think she had come back on purpose just to gawk at his gorgeous bod. A pair of cheeks turned a shade rosier.

When she returned that evening, she was feeling irritable and disjointed, thoughts flew too fast and she had been forgetful all day. Strains of music floated from across the hall and this was annoying. Some people had no consideration for others, a slim lady walking down the hallway looked at her with puzzled eyes as she fumbled for an eternity getting the stupid key in the door. She stalked into the bathroom and threw that morning's dose of pills into the toilet. There was not point in running out too quickly or too late. This would help avoid confusion and explanations to her Doctor, she was confident she would not forget again.

A month passed.

As Gretchen was scurrying down the hall to her apartment, she bumped ~ literally ~ into electronics guy. Carrying two bags of groceries and fishing for her keys had been her undoing and, of course, one of the bags ripped, spilling cans and boxes all over the floor. As she got down on her knees, gathering up her unruly purchases, the cans kept rolling purposely away.

The man bent down and caught a few of them saying, "Here Ma'am, let me give you a hand, after all, it's my own clumsy fault."

She allowed him to help her get her things to the small dinette table and he smiled his way out of her apartment. She decided she didn't really care for him, why hadn't she at least mentioned that he should turn his music down a little? As she put supplies away she grew more and more annoyed with herself. Her supervisor at work was being a witch and had reminded Gretchen of the office dress code. She felt she was wearing proper clothes, why hadn't the old hag talked to that young girl who wore way too much make-up and short tight skirts? She absentmindedly raked her stringy hair away from her face and sat down on the sofa. The next thing she knew, it was morning.

She yawned and then came to her feet in a panic, what time was it? The clock proclaimed 5 A.M. Thankfully, she would not be late at the office. She felt slept out, if a little stiff in the spine and staggered off to a luxuriously long hot shower. She lingered over her coffee and arrived at work 15 minutes early. Her supervisor smiled at her and commented how nice and clean her hair looked. Gretchen forced a reciprocating smile to her lips, she had shampooed and shaved her legs this morning but how did the barracuda know that? Was she being watched? All the eyes in the office were bearing down on her and they had smiles pasted below them. Gretchen sat down like a robot and gradually relaxed her own grimace into it's more natural small, pursed shape. Heart thudding, she persevered through the day, glancing covertly at her coworkers whenever she thought they weren't looking. Often their eyes met and Gretchen felt the weight of those brief looks and the knowing, smirking mouths that tried to suppress the cruel laughter.

By the time she arrived home at 5:30, she was shaking and muttering under her breath from humiliation tinged with anger. She glared at electronics guy's door and next door at noisy family's apartment and farther down at that snooty slim lady's door. Locking her own door she looked around her home warily. He had only been in here a couple of minutes yesterday and she had not let him prowl through her rooms, how did he do it?

She spent the evening and entire night searching for listening devices, hidden cameras and gizmos that would tap the phone. She found nothing but was not to be deterred so easily. She would outwit them all, then she would be the one sneering, yes she would!

Pulling into the parking lot, she realized that she was late for work today. Ms. Supervisor gave her a sour look that turned into something else, but what?

"Are you feeling all right today, Gretchen?" the harpy asked in mock concern.

"Of course I am." Gretchen curtly replied, she was definitely not in the mood for any more shenanigans.

"Your eyes are red and y~you have on the same clothes you were wearing yesterday. I think you should consider taking the d~day off." Wicked Witch stammered.

Gretchen saw the uncertainty in her eyes and considered this an advantage for herself. She wasn't going to be sent home on some flimsy pretext and said so. She began to get loud as the argument intensified. She honestly didn't mean to, didn't even know that she was shouting until the Security Guards came. Then she yelled as loud as she was capable of doing, that is until they threatened to call the police. Her mouth snapped shut with a click of teeth and she scuttled out the door and drove home without remembering how she got there.

Ensconced in her own living quarters that were no longer safe, she dropped her head into her hands and set on the edge of the bed rocking in an attempt to pull herself back together as she had done so many times before. She wanted her mother desperately, breast cancer had taken her away six months ago. Mom had always taken care of her, been there for her when she was sick or out of a job or broke. Mom had put all of the child support checks from Gretchn's errant Father into a trust fund. When she passed, the proceeds from the sale of her home (Gretchen had the car) had also gone into the kitty. Mom had explained carefully that Gretchen could not touch the principle, however she would receive a monthly stipend. The money would be enough to pay the rent and perhaps some basic eats.

"Soup and crackers," she moaned.

Maybe if she had the phone disconnected and turned off the AC, cold water showers and dish-washing. God! How she missed her mother! Forget driving, the cost of gas and insurance were out of the question.

Blam! Blam! The floors shook. "Open up! Police!"

The woman who still looked like a 20 year old whimpered and opened the door to two burly men in uniform. Screaming? Had she been screaming? She didn't remember.....a rat! She had seen a rat and gotten hysterical. No sir, she hadn't heard her neighbors banging on the door. She was so sorry to disturb everyone. Yes, she was O.K., so sorry, just a silly Sally. When they left, she collapsed on the bed and wrapped the quilt around herself. They had called the police anyway, even after she had promised to leave the premises. They had lied!. They were treacherous, even her neighbors were in on it. No one could be trusted, no one on this Earth.

Her Mother would have understood or maybe she wouldn't have. Mom had taken her to the hospital that time and let them lock her up for an extended period of time, 3 months and then 3 months more and 3 months more. It was unfair and she had no place to hide. No place except here, which was not as secure as it should be. She barricaded herself in the closet for 3 days, coming out to use the bathroom and get food which she ate in the dark closet. There was just a sliver of light from under the door and it wasn't enough for people to see inside, she hoped.

She felt torn in two, what to do? Oh! What to do? It had all started with electronics guy, the others were to blame also, but he was the ringleader. He was systematically destroying her life, that was not to be tolerated. No! She stamped her foot for emphasis and went to the door.

She stood there, meek as a Minnie mouse (as if they didn't already know!) with her eye pressed to the tiny circle of magnifying glass. Sure enough, after 3 hours of making her wait, he came out into the hallway and she opened the door.

Paul stepped back involuntarily at the bedraggled sight of a tearful face. It was not her face that bothered him but the powerful stench emanating from such a petite woman was unreal.

He smiled to cover his embarassment and said, "Hi, how are you today Ma'am?"

He didn't know her name and she had an odd habit of not maintaining eye contact. Her eyes would meet his for a bare fraction of a second and then skitter frantically away.

"Oh, the sink, sink. Sinkwater on the f~floor. Everywhere, water everywhere" she mumbled in a distracted way.

"Don't worry, let me grab a few tools and have a look at it right away. If I can't fix it, I'll find the janitor for you" he said with determined cheer.

She was a bit of an odd duck, he thought, she seemed perpetually frightened. Frightened of people in general and himself in particular. He smiled to himself. He was a large man and gentle as they came. He briefly wondered if she had ever been abused in some way by a man. That might explain a lot of things about this drab little wren.

Paul walked in and knelt at the kitchen sink. Opening the cabinet doors he could plainly see there was no leakage.

"Did you mean the kitchen sink or the bathroom......."

Paul didn't see the graceful arc the butcher knife made, but he felt it connect. He fell hard on the floor and flinched in agony when she put her foot on his back and exerted all her strength to pull it back out. As she pushed with her all her might he rolled over quickly to take it away from her. No surprise was felt, reaction was needed now. Something was wrong, his shoulders moved but sinewy arms lay limply on the floor. This time he saw the gentle arc as she shoved the knife down into the hollow of his throat.