Confused Love

I anxiously wander the halls
Looking for her.
The girl that makes my heart leap,
That makes my soul sing.1

I look for her shining face,
That's as bright as the sun.
I long to gaze into her mystical eyes,
That glow like the stars.2

She walks gracefully around the corner
And our eyes meet.
I worked up the courage to speak
But words could not escape my lips.3

We walk by each other
Without a word being spoken.
But I know that my love for her
Is not reflected in the mirror of her heart.4

***5

I anxiously wander the halls
Looking for him.
The guy that fills me with joy,
That makes my life complete.6

I look for his golden smile
That gleams with magnificence.
I listen for his hearty laugh
That's full of cheer.7

And as I walk around the corner,
My eyes meet with his.
I worry frantically about what to say
But I was lost in his presence.8

We walk by each other
Without a word being spoken.
But I know that my love for him
Is not reflected in the mirror of his heart.

Author notes

For Contest: I LOVE TIGERS

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Veritaserum
    May 10, 2008
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    Awww

    This was sweet and sad...

    Reminds me of how often we are too afraid to let our emotions show for fear of rejection from another, and so we continue our lives without ever knowing what could unfold if only we didn't censor ourselves so much.

    Uniquely written. I liked it.


  • IxLovexElphiex
    March 2, 2008

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    definately made me awwwwww! so so sad! very pretty poem.
    thanks so much for entering and good luck!


  • Shiki
    January 8, 2008

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    Okay...thanks for entering the contest Okay talk time is over now I'll explain I will be a bit more harsh/strict during judging so here goes.

    you have instilled the "distance" between them very well. Indeed the quote "The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them " Maybe its not nothing here but If they don't confess then nothing will happen You have created that feeling well And the use of words...well placed Just that I find that some of the sentence doesn't really rthym maybe you can Improve on it Its a good piece but even a good piece can be improved^_^! Good luck in the contest you can edit it and Message me to read it over if you wish Overall This is a good piece but If you wish for the gold throphy, it will take more than this ^_^ the competition is fierce Good luck you could enter 2 more entries


  • angel.of.mine
    December 8, 2007

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    awwww... thats so sad, they love each otha but cant say .. such a sweet emotional poem. thanks for entering an gud luck xo


  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    November 18, 2007

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    That is so sad. They never found out they both liked eachother. If only one of them had the guts to tell. thats the worst thing that can happen. Well not the worst but still pritty bad. That is what you were trying to say right. Im just trying to read between the lines. Well anyways I hope you do good in the contest. I will keep this poem in mind because its good and confusing. The way I like em


  • heartfullofvenom
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OH MY...

    WOW, hey i know what this person(s) is feeling. It's the classic love story and well... i loved it. it was nicely written, and correct in the different view points. I like the repetition of the last stanza and i espically like the verse :"I worry frantically about what to say
    But I was lost in his presence." This really says a lot. And theres a lot of" reading between the lines". But i really loved it.

    Good Luck!
    ♥


  • plurangel silver member
    October 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awwww i loved this immensely!!! very cute. I love the split points of view on the subject. big points for that. although I think you could have used different adjectives when writing the girl's pov instead of repeating yourself. other than that I can't think of anything else to say about this amazing piece. Goodluck in my contest.

  • ZackTruel
    September 27, 2007
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    Very nice poem! I really enjoyed reading it even though it was kinda sad. Good luck.


  • Greeneyes15
    September 14, 2007

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    that was sooo cute. great job and great writting. i think t flowed well and was so ocute! lol! thankyou for entering the contest and good luck!


  • RedHearts
    September 9, 2007
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    oh, another one, I have commented on before!!!!!but hey its okay...good luck in the contest.

  • RedHearts
    August 31, 2007

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    This one is really good, I must say its mind blowing!!!!!The way its written is innovative. Very well done. Excellent!!!!!!!


  • beezy92
    August 22, 2007
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    wow!

    thats so saw and awesome and it gives me hope! lol really clever, witty, unique idea. i like the verse, it has a free, natural, relaxed flow and its still has beautiful imagery even htougrh its about people walking by in a hallway. i love it! (= good job and good luck in the contest


  • Frozen Angel
    July 23, 2007

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    I loved it. Free verse poems always seem to be my favorite type (and I'm a sucker for love stories, lol). Keep on writing like this!

    *Frozen Angel*


  • Sunless Spirit
    July 21, 2007
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    Very nice


  • Taboo Pixie
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol...how cute...two people that don't know about their love for each other. i liked the way this was written and the way it flowed. good job

1 - 15 of 15