One

“No, Johnny! Don’t go!” I said, franticly. He was already in the large field when I said that. He was going to be in the army. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay with me. He couldn’t leave me, his girlfriend, alone again. I loved Johnny so much. 1

Johnny didn’t say a word to me. He only turned around and took a long look at me. A few men were yelling his name. He had to go. Tears streamed down my face. I could tell that he didn’t want to go back to war, but he had to. It was his job. If I lost him, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. 2

“Please don’t go.” I whispered. He turned back around and started to walk through the field. I decided to run after him. As I ran, I yelled his name while crying. He couldn’t leave me again. ‘Johnny, don’t do this to me!’ I thought. ‘I love you!’ 3

All of a sudden, I heard explosions. It happened nearby. Then, I heard gunshots and helicopters. I could also hear the sound of grenades exploding. Johnny took out his gun. He told me to leave. He said that some war broke out. 4

“Callie, I don’t want anything to happen to you. Get away from this place!” Johnny told me. No, I wasn’t going to leave him. All of a sudden, an explosion went off right here in the field. It happened right where Johnny and I were. My world had turned to darkness and I thought that I was dead…5

***
I woke up and I couldn't see. I couldn't even move or tell where I am, but I guess I’m in the hospital. Not only can’t I see and move, I’m losing my hearing. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to hear anything. But right now, I hear machines beeping, nurses and doctors talking, and other things. Not too long ago, I heard a doctor say my name. He was talking about me. What he said about me was that I had no limbs, I’m blind, I’m immobile, and soon, I’ll be deaf. 6

No longer can I speak. I wonder what the world looks like now. ‘This can’t be happening!’ I thought. Why do I have to suffer like this? Maybe no one will know I’m alive, or will they?7

Being in the condition I’m in now, I am cut off from the world, but still alive. I’m only a living conscious. Now, I can’t tell what a dream is or what reality is. How can you tell?8

‘Oh god, please help me! Someone help me!’ I thought. It was useless for me. No one can hear me because I’m talking to myself in my mind. And the only thing I see is darkness. This is a nightmare. Why didn’t I die in that explosion than be alive cut off from the world without limbs?9

Time. What time is it? Is it the morning, afternoon, evening, nighttime? What day is it and what month? How long have I been here? Have I been here for a few days or longer? I wish I knew the answers to all of those questions. I also wish I didn’t loose all of my abilities. Why can’t I just die instead of live?10

That’s when I loose my hearing. No longer can I hear the beeping machines I’m hooked to and people talking. My reclusive life just got worse than it was before. I try to scream inside, but the silence stops me. All I can do is be fed by the tube that sticks in me. All I feel is pain now. Pain is all that makes me real now. 11

Now how can I tell if I’m still alive or what’s going on? I can’t even move, but I think I can move my head. That’s it. Maybe I can feel when someone touches me. All I do is hope that someone knows that I’m not dead-just one person. The doctors better know that, after all, they never said I was dead. 12

I thought about the explosion. I wonder if Johnny is dead or not. If he is alive then, he must be in the same condition as me. I wish I could see his face one more time. ‘Johnny,’ I cry inside. I cannot finish that sentence. It’s too much for me to handle. 13

I can’t live like this.14

After what feels like an hour later or more, I feel a touch. Someone is touching my face. Their hand feels so smooth. Who is it? Johnny? Is it Johnny who’s touching my face? ‘Johnny, if it’s you, help me! Save me! Please know that I’m alive!’ 15

Soon, I feel a something wet drop down on my cheek. I assume it’s a tear. That’s when I realize that the person may be someone that’s in my family or maybe it’s my boyfriend Johnny.16

I move my head and shake it a little. Maybe that will help the person figure out that I’m not dead. Oh god, I hope it does. Only if I could speak or hear…17

***
“She’s going to be like that forever?” Johnny asked the doctor as he stared at Callie. It broke his heart to see her like this. He disturbed him to see his girlfriend without limbs and all of her abilities (like sight, being able to move, hearing, etc…) are gone. He had survived the explosion, but he lost an arm. Luckily, Johnny was giving a prosthetic arm. He was injured, but he’d live. 18

All he cared about was Callie. 19

“I’m afraid so. She’s lucky if she can feel someone touch her. She can move her head though.” The doctor said. “She survived the explosion and now, she’s suffering from massive and irreparable damage.”20

“It’s impossible for her to experience pain, pleasure, and she might not be able to remember what happened to her. She’ll be as unthinking as the dead. I’m not even sure if Callie can think or dream of any kind.” The doctor continued.21

“I wish things were different for her. I want to tell her that I love her. She probably thinks I’m dead.” Johnny replied.
__________________________________________________________22

'If anyone can hear me, end my misery. Kill me so I no longer have to go through this.' I thought. 'Somebody hear me! Kill me now!' 23

It's no use. No one will ever be able to hear me and I'll never see Johnny again. Now, my nightmare has really begun. I'm all alone, lying here, legless and armless and completely helpless. 24

I wish I could talk so I could keep myself company, I wish I had hands so I could kill myself, I want legs and feet so I can get away from this place. It'll never happen. Everyone will leave me here and I'll really be alone. I'll be surrounded by darkness forever. Why can't anyone hear me? 25

I wish I was dead now. 26

I'm just one.