Emily picks up the ripped clothes of the leader of the tribe, who had been impersonated by Arius.
“Is he dead… Our leader I mean, not that fake…” a young girl asks, deep pain in her voice.
“I’m afraid so, and if he weren’t, I’d have to kill him”, Emily says, her voice cold and apathetic.
“But, why?” the little girl asks,” he was all I had, he made the village take me in… he protected me. Now what will I do?!”
“Come with me, leave this behind you. I will protect you, what is your name?”
“Liza, But everyone calls me Lizzy”, She says.
Emily looks closely at the girl observing her. She has pastel green, long, flowing hair and soft purple eyes, skinny to a fault, but seems to have strong arms and legs.
“Okay Lizzy, you can come with me, just don’t get in my way, and do what I tell you, okay?” says a stern looking Emily.
Lizzy nods, knowing that now Emily was going to take care of her, knowing she could trust her, don’t ask how she knew, she just did.
Lizzy grabs a hold of Emily’s hand, Emily nearly pulls it away, slightly uncomfortable with this physical contact. The little girl looks at Emily a little confused and Emily just shrugs.
“Just not used to it, don’t worry about it”
“oh…”
And Emily and Lizzy head to the assassin’s village, to Emily’s home…
Emily stepped into her house only to find a mess of wreckage, her home destroyed on the inside.
“Oh my god, Emily, what happened to your house?”, Lizzy asks in a childish naïve voice.
“I dunno, just help me clean up this shit and we’ll find out later, okay?”, says a irritated Emily, “ If you find any clues, report them to me. Then we’ll set up your room and get you settled in”
Lizzy nods and starts to clean, only to find a trail of blood on the floor.
“…Emily?… is this a clue?”, whispers Lizzy in a frightened voice.
Emily comes over and inspects the trail, nods, and follows it to the spare room… What is to be Lizzy’s room…
“You, stay right here, or I’ll throw you out so fast your head’ll spin, I guarantee you…”, Says Emily in a stern voice, worried for the young girls safety.
Lizzy nods obediently and sits on the torn couch in the living room while Emily follows the trail of blood… Straight to the bedroom closet… She opens it…
Lying in a bloody heap on the closet floor is the ninja leader. Emily bows her head respectively for Lizzy’s ex-guardian and goes to the kitchen.
“What’s in there?”
“Don’t worry about it, kid”, says Emily as she grabs a garbage bag and goes back to the mess. Lizzy quietly gets off the couch and sneaks to the bedroom door. She peers in only to see Emily shoving her dead father figure into a garbage bag.
She screams, loud and heart brokenly, “NOOOOO!!!”
“I told you not to look, I told you to stay in there!”, Emily says slightly angry, “Listen to me when I tell you something girl!”
Lizzy takes off running, hard and fast, unaware of anything except the image of her father figure’s body being shoved into a bag by her new best friend.
Meanwhile Emily sighs deeply,” I told her…”, and takes the old man’s body outside. She goes inside and searches for a box of matches, digging through the mess in her room. As she is digging she cuts her finger on some broken glass from a picture frame.
“Shit!!”, she says as she shoves her finger into her mouth, savoring the warm blood. She finds the matches under one of her thongs under her bed and goes back to the body outside.
“Good bye old man”, she says as she sets the lifeless body on fire.
As she watches the flames dancing on the corpse Lizzy is still running far away, lungs burning, feet bleeding, long hair getting caught on branches of the trees that surround her, but she can’t turn back, she refuses to face the horrific scene. She tears up, her vision blurred, and finally, she collapses from exhaustion. She lays in the dirt where she has fallen, just sobbing, a broken heap of a child long forgotten by the world…
Hours pass and Emily begins to worry about Lizzy, she picks up the trench coat she stole from shank years ago and steps outside.
“Damn kid”, she mutters worriedly and runs full speed, tracking Lizzy to where she lay.
“Lizzy? Kid?”, Emily says in a soft voice, reaching down to stroke the girls hair.
“Yeah?”, sniffles a tear stricken Lizzy.
“It’ll be okay. Kid, you have to keep on living. You’ve lost a father, yes, but you still have me, and I’ll never leave your side.”
“Promise? Promise you won’t leave? Huh, Emily?”
“I promise, Kid, now get up, let’s go home”, says Emily.
Lizzy pulls herself into a sitting position and nods,” You’ll always be here right?”
“Of course, Kid”, she smiles at the tear stained girl,” I’m you’re friend, I’ll always be here for you.”
Lizzy nods.
“It’s time to go home, I’ve set up your room. It’s purple and red, hope you don’t mind”
“Purple’s my favorite color”, says Lizzy, flashing Emily and big toothy grin,” and red’s not all bad either.”
Emily picks up Lizzy, ”your feet are bleeding.”
“I can walk…”, says Lizzy embarrassedly.
Emily shakes her head, “It’s no problem, I’ll wrap your wounds when we get home and then settle you into your room.”
Lizzy nods, and Emily takes off running, and gets home with in a an hour or so. She sets the tired girl on the living room couch and goes to the bathroom to grab the galls and surgical tape. When she returns to the living room Lizzy’s asleep.
Emily leans against the wall.
“Cute Kid,” she says adoringly.
She walks over to the couch and carefully wraps Lizzy’s feet, trying not to wake her up. She then picks up the sleeping child and takes her to her room and tucks her into bed.
“Night Kid”, she says and turns out the light. She goes to her room and slips out of her clothes, then, exhausted she falls into her bed and gets under the covers.
“Damn, what a day…”, are the last words on her lips as she slips into a dream land full of pain and agony.
Author notes
please tell me what you think, i need to know what's good and bad, and where you think my story should go, what should happen next?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'm writing this as I read it::::
Your introduction seems very rushed. Try giving the reader some more time to be introduced to the situation before shoving the two characters together. State your setting a little more. Tell us a little more about what's going on -- it's very muddled.
I'm now at the bit when they arrive at Emily's house. This also is rushed and really needs some descriptive details and imagery to not make the reader feel like their being dragged by their seatbelt hanging out of a car door on the highway.
All I can really say for now. I find this story to be interesting and might keep checking up on it for updates
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The way the two characters react to one another is interesting, It seems to me that you know how to work this story very well on your own, the only part I saw a mistake was before the lines: Emily leans against the wall.
“Cute Kid,” she says adoringly.
you put "a an hour or so." No big, but it threw me off for a sec lol, good job otherwise.


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I'm not sure that there is anything bad or anything that should go. I liked the interaction between the two and that the physical touching would be a problem for Emily. I think that is really a good point to bring up in this story and is very believeable.
It might be wise to bring in a little side note about how Lizzy and her emotions. We can see that she is upset because of the fathers death but you didn't go much into it.
Well that's my suggestion. Hope it helps.
Brooke


