“I love this place,” murmurs Jack, twisting his fingers around his boyfriend’s thin fingers.
“I know,” the other boy giggles, squeezing tighter on their grip. He wants this day to last forever. He wants the sun to stay drifting lazily through the clouds; he wants all their words to hang around their heads for always, memories of that afternoon that would never fade.
But the simple pleasures soon give way to more lively ones, as Jack bounds away, skipping over the grass, laughing and stumbling, calling back for Ryan to follow him, follow soon before the moment drifts away into the seriousness of life.
Jack’s black hair, tousled and displaced, is lit up by the sun for one glorious moment, then he’s out of the light, feet dancing a spontaneous dance of joy, somehow missing the daisies littering the ground beneath him. Stepping into another picture of another nuance.
The autumn sun on his back, Ryan whispered to himself quietly. “Yours is the first face that I saw. Think I was blind before I met you.” As he nears the end of the last word, Jack is far, far ahead of him. Ryan’s voice rises slowly, words twisting into sentences, notes into melodies. “I thought I’d let you know that these things take forever; I especially am slow.” He wants the music to fill up the trees, twist among the branches, settle on the leaves, an everlasting reminder of their day.
He’s so lost in the words, he doesn’t notice that Jack’s stopped, turned so that he can see the boy that is, for him, beauty epitomised. His lips whisper around the words, and Jack knows the song he’s singing. He can see as Ryan breathes the lyrics, heart and mouth working to the same rhythm.
Together, faces mirroring each other, they both find the line that touches them both, that makes their thoughts leap, that makes their minds smile, that makes their hearts sing.
“This is the first day of my life. I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you. But now, I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you, and I’d probably be happy.”
And in this, this one afternoon, they are complete.
Author notes
the song is 'First Day Of My Life' -- Bright Eyes and title credit is from the Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge.
so, yeah, this is a (very) short little fanfictionnnn, cause I felt like writing some random fluffy fanfiction =]. Ryan = Ryan Ross, of Panic! At The Disco, and Jack = Jack Marin, (formerly) of Cute Is What We Aim For.
A contest entry
- "Here's Looking at You Kid" by katiefran.
400 points, ended May 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Watev!! by asthray.heart.
1100 points, ended June 20, 2007, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gay pride!! by HeartSxAnDxStripeS.
315 points, ended June 27, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - What a gay contest. by Springs.
270 points, ended August 23, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Just Enter... by On.Cue.
375 points, ended November 10, 2007, 59 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This was very cute, but I would've enjoyed it very much if you could have expanded and detailed it a bit more. =)
And btw, I think that "amicus" guy is a bastard. -
Aw, cute and sweet =]
Ooo. Not many people write in the tense you have. Intresting.
So yeah, short and adorable. Like Patience said, I'm unfamiliar to these people, so I can't identify with that. I don't know the songs either, and I can't be bothered to look them up -is lazy- sowwy.
Thanks for enteringggg. Good luck. -
I liked it, sweet and sugar coated, so cute, sweet is amazing hehe, one of the best ways to write.
The love really shows deep and I like that the song reminds them of their love, like me and my boyfriend hehe.
I loved it, reminds me of me hehe.
Great writing and good luck.
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this is an amazingly sweet peice of writing. i love the fact that they are so in love!
your writing style is pretty magnificant as well. i could definitely picuter this scene in my head and it made me wish that i could have an interaction like this with someone.
exceedingly soothing to the hopeless romantic soul!
great job, thanks for entering my contest, and good luck! -
Nice story.
Short and fluffy cute. Although one of the contest rules is "Minimum word count 500 maximum 5000. No more, no less."
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It is? Gaah, sorry. I looked really hard for a rule about length but I couldn't find one... I'll remove.
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Seriously...why do my notes hate me? *kicks them* I loved this too...more then loved...adored...is adored more then love in the commenting word?
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This was good, different but good.
idk what else to say...it was short and sweet
Good job.
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Juxtapositions...
I personally find it enlightening to read your association of music and lyrics with prose, interesting indeed.
If your descriptions were of a boy and a girl, I would find reason to applaud and still do, but with a question of sorts.
Had quite a verbal tussle with some Lesbians on another site, who claimed that romantic love between two women was comparable to that between a man and a woman.
I disagreed rather vehemently as male/female relationships, being more as nature intended, have the element of procreation and genetic immortality involved and as such must be viewed as supreme.
That of course does not touch upon the emotional and subjective elements of a love relationship between any two people..
My question for you is somewhat a rhetorical one and you seem to make the assumption that boy/boy love is equally as fulfilling as boy/girl love and wonder if you believe that, are just pushing that viewpoint for a matter of political politeness or correctness, or whether this genre of writing is just an experiment for you?
a curious amicus.....again...as most everything you write, very well done
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I hate closeminded, homophobes like you.
Love is love, which means love does not regard gender. Unless you want to argue that love is gender, I suggest that you don't put "comments" like this for others' writings. -
Okai, sorry but I just have to say this....
Does all what you said truly matter?
I mean...you're supposed to comment THE STORY. Not say crap like that.
That's PRETTY offensive...ecspecially for the gays here.
Why does it matter in what SHE believes?? Or whatev.
You arent God.
What if she's gay....your comment could have hurt her.
So yeah...your comment just made me angry so thats why I'm saying this EVEN WHEN you prob. dont care.
So for the next time you comment someone, dont say all of that stuff that has nothing to do with the story itself, but only your own beliefs. Just comment the damn story.
And yes, I can say this because I am the authors friend...even if I werent I'd STILL say what I want.
Oh, and Omega, I shall read this story laterrr. Kays?
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whether it's gay or straight, it's still love.
it's my decision what I choose to write about.
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You asked me what made this good, let me try to explain
It was short, YET you were able to make it deep - the short interaction, the short words.. you put everything here for a purpose, and they all summed up into this obra maestra of sorts
You used your words carefully. THe descriptions were beautiful (You not only described things, you made the whole thing come alive, Omega)
Even the conversation they had was... wow. I'd love to have this moment with THE ONE
and maybe, I'd be complete too
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with us I greatly enjoyed
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my pleasure =] glad you liked it.
...i seriously need a boyfriend. a sweet, romantic one. one who'll take me these places, say these things, give me everything i want without me even telling him that it's what i always dreamed for.
life sucks being lovesick.
meggxx -
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Omega
I believe.. that the right guy would come along and sweep you off your feet may your first boyfriend be a great guy - because you deserve that!!!!!
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haha. i've had a first. he was okay. i finished it though. didn't feel right.
felt bad for ages afterwards. still do. but oh well. life moves on. life never stops.
meggxx
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