Elven Lullaby

Sleep my child
Find refuge in dream,
For only there
Are things as they seem.1

Sleep my child
Escape while you can,
Sleep now,
Lay down your head2

Sleep my child
Untill morning's light,
Close your eyes,
Don't try to fight3

Sleep my child
Escape while you can,
Sleep now,
Lay down your head4

Author notes

This was one of those things that just pops into your head, fully formed, and you just write it down. Everything, including the melody (which we ended up changing a bit) came with the package. Hope you like it!

A lullaby, sung by the elves to their children. It might end up being used in one of my stories...maybe not.

I have music for it. It's a simple, minor, haunting melody that goes like this:

This is a very simple tune, written from memory, as my friend kept the original music. H=half note, F=fermata, Q=quarter note, DH=dotted half note. Note names are written beside their rhythms and the words in () next to them.

H-B (Sleep) Q-Db (my) Q-D (chi) H-F (ild)
Q-B (Find) Q-C (ref-) Q-D (-uge) Q-Eb (in) F-D (dream)
Q-B (For) H-C (on-) Q-F# (-ly) H-D# (there)
Q-D (Are) Q-C# (things) Q-C (as) Q-B (they) F-Bb (seem)

H-B (Sleep) Q-Db (my) Q-D (chi-) H-F (-ild)
Q-B (Es-) Q-C (-cape) Q-D (while) Q-Eb (you) F-G (can)
DH-G (Sleep) DH-C (now)
Q-F (Lay) H-Eb (down) Q-F (your) F-Db (head)

This is written for piano and voice and takes place (on the piano) right above middle C.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Forgotten Anomaly
    May 24, 2008
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    As a poem this is a very simple peice. As a song you seem to have it well developed in all standings. I'm not all that impressed with the poem since I've writen something simalar myself but your ability to fully develope it into a song impresses me. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Midnightmare
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How interesting. a sweet little write you have here.
    Good job and I encourage you to keep up your great work ! =]


  • Xtclozer-
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I lovved the flow of this poem, and it was indeed a great lulaby.
    It was short, but catchy.

    Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck


  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    February 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh yeah forgot to give u some of these

  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    February 1, 2008

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    This is a very good lulliby. I havnt heard one created by someone on sw before. Its very beautiful. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • HeatherRoseBrown
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful lullaby. I liked the way you showed the music. I usually have music in my head to go with the lyrics of songs to write, but I never thought of doing it like you did. I may give it a try some time.

  • ZackTruel
    November 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good poem! It is very simple and short, but the mood is captivating, and it has good rhyme. I wish it was longer because I was just getting into it before it ended, but I guess I will have to settle for short and sweet.

    Good luck on the contest!


  • Asfand
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Elven Melodies To Haunt Me ~

    Without any punctuation the flow was distorted actually, as I never got to know when you began another thought ~

    Loose the extra lines 'go edit and unclick fix line spacing, then use a different format' ~

    The words were soft and I liked the theme you chose, very nice and actuallt, very unique for poetry -- extra credit because it is Elven ~

    The title is spelled wrong according to modern English as the correct word if 'Elfin' ~


    Good luck and thanks for entering ~

    Title ~ 4/10
    Depth ~ 6.7/10
    Imagery ~ 10.6/15
    Format ~ 7.2/10
    Feeling ~ 8.4/10
    Theme ~ 17.6/20
    Flow ~ 12/15
    Understanding ~ 10/10

    Total ~*~ 76.5/100


    • Nesa Lyrel
      September 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the critique. I've fixed the formatting...phew...I didn't even realize that it was really that bad!! Sorry about that.

      As for the title...I know the correct spelling, I just think that the word "elven" has something special to it...I can't put my finger on it, but it just sounds better to me.


  • sport-gurl-101
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    It may be short but sounds like it comes from a true elven mom. It must sound beautiful when it is sung. P.S. it was really hard to rate this in SW categories.

    beginning: 5, language: 2, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.

  • Yume no Megami
    July 18, 2007

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    Wow...you have music to it.

    I never would've thought to music to my songs(cause it's too hard for me)but this is a haunting,maybe(yawn)put me to sleep(yawn)a little!
    I just used to my imagination for the music.


  • FadeToBlack Again
    July 5, 2007

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    NICE!

    I like this alot. If I ever have kids...this will be really cool to sing and play for them. I have a piano along with guitars, and I think I can manage to play this. Thanks for adding the music notes, that was very cool!


  • Embitter
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, I adore elves. I actually remember a few scattered quenya and sindarin phrases from years past.. Unfortutunetly most of them are insults..
    Lovely lullaby, and its cool you have music with it..

1 - 13 of 13