Irrelevance and Lies

My name is irrelevant. Greetings are irrelevant. If you are here, there is no need to add words. You either read and learn, or you go, and wonder what is so important to me that I would tell you.

Still here? I'm suprised to be honest. I am going to tell you a story. No, not a story. Because stories are nice. This could never be described as nice. Are you ready? No, of course not. You just think you are. I know I'm not.

It starts with a stone. A very ordinary stone, round, grey and thoroughly non-moving. The ordinary stone falls just short of a window, which has been broken so many times, it would be pointless to count. Through the window is a room. It is not a warm or welcoming room. There is no fire. There are no curtains. There is just a woman, who now has no other name than the Hag. She did have another name. Her other name isn't relevent, but I'll tell you anyway. Her name was - 1

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Helena was a girl. She wasn't a different girl. She had no deformities, no contagious diseases. She wasn't a murderer, or a thief. She was a law-abiding, not uncommonly pretty young girl. So why was she behind a high, high wall, separated from seemingly the same young girls? All the other young people? No - she exagerates. There were other people in the walled enclosour as well, other normal people. Her family, other people. Some people, she didn't know, some people she did know. People also separated for some unobvious reason. This was normal life. 3

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That was then.5

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Five years later. Helena is running. Why is she running? For the same unobvious reason why she was even behind the walls. Nobody knows - I don't, and I bet you don't either. Who is she running from? That's irrelevant. You won't know them if I tell you, so what's the point? Just pray you never have cause to know them...7

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Five minutes later. Helena is caught. They're holding onto her arms so tight it hurts. She's twisting, turning, searching for a way out. Any way out. And then they provide her with one. 9

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Two years earlier. Helena is fiddling with an engagement ring on her finger. It burns her but leaves no mark on her finger. This is because the mark is on her mind. The ring is scorching her mind. This is because it is a lie. If it was true, the ring would be from someone else. As it happens, the ring is from a man called Ben.
She turns the corner at the end of the street into an alley furnished with a rubbish bin and meets the man she arranged to meet secretly. His name is Tom and Tom is Ben's brother. Confused? Not half as much as she is, I bet. And now she's kissing him and he's kissing back and they're both thinking, if only... if only. But they can't be together because of a mistake. A mistake and a miracle. The mistake and the miracle that grows bigger and bigger everyday in her belly. Mistake or miracle? Loved one or hated one? She wishes she could make up her mind.11

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Two years and two seconds later. Helena is still held in their arms. She's remembered the cyanide pill, her ticket out. The cyanide pill which was handed out to everyone in the ghetto. The cyanide pill which everyone has to take in case of capture. The cyanide pill which everyone will take. And then her concentration is whisked away. It is directed towards Ben, her husband who she does not love and never has done, the man who bought her two rings, both of which are lies, meaningless lies. And a voice speaks. It says, as far as her terrified brain can interpret,
"Leave the cyanide pill. Join us." And she shakes her head because Ben is nothing. He is a barrier. That is all he is. And barriers are removed. Ben turns red. This is probably linked to the man holding a gun which he has just lowered, and a loud bang. Ben falls and despite herself Helena feels a joy. Ben dies looking at Helena's smile. Ben dies in the dirt. Ben dies hearing the laughs of the men.
Helena again tries to get the cyanide pill. She could still die an honourable death... But then a new man is brought to the spot where Ben stood, in the puddle of Ben's blood. And this man is calm. This man is Tom.
"Give me the cyanide pill and he'll live." Helena knows that she can't. She can't kill him even if she'll never know, even if she'll dissolve into nothing seconds afterwards. And so the cyanide pill is transfered into their hands. They take it and throw it to the ground for some bird to eat. The men let go of her arms and she joyfully reaches out for Tom but he recoiles.
"We can live together now. We're free!" Her voice is all there is spoken aloud. But it doesn't speak as much as his eyes. The eyes say
"Murderer. Traitor." And as she shakes her head, Tom turns red. The bang has struck again, the gun is so casually lowered. Tom says one word. One name. You might think it the wrong name. Helena would agree with you. The name was 13

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Ben15

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It finishes with a pill. The pill that should have been taken by Helena, but ends up being taken by the Hag. The Hag walks back to the place where, long ago, the bodies of Tom and Ben could be found. Their skeletons are all that lie there now. Never cleared up, because there was no one left. Helena died with Tom. The Hag has born. 17

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But look! Is that Helena now? Could Helena finally be returning? 19

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I told you before my name was irrelevent. I lied, like the rings. The rings that are now, with any luck, mingled with the bones of, with any luck, three skeletons. My name is, was and still is Helena.21