Her silky flesh was just as alluring as her eyes. He longed to touch her, to run his hand along her body, to touch those beautiful lips. He wanted to kiss her, to feel her body pressed against his. He dreamt of her in his bed, waking up from sleep. Only once he had gained the courage to grab her hand, only to have her turn to him, her lips turned into a smirk and her long, glowing blonde hair bouncing as she moved. Why she kept it up, he had no clue. He wanted to take out the ponytail that kept her hair restrained and run his fingers through it. No other woman had made him feel this way, not even his ex-girlfriend. He was willing to give up anything for this girl.
Ethan found it hard to concentrate in math class with Kira in front of him. He was mesmerized by her beauty and had to hold himself back from touching her. She was sitting straight in her seat and passing notes with her best friend, Alissa. Every once in a while, one of the two girls would giggle quietly. Kira was very graceful and unnaturally beautiful. How could someone be born so beautiful?
"Uh, Do you have a problem or something?" Alissa's voice broke him from his trance. He blinked a few times before realizing she was talking to him. "Oh, uh...No." Ethan answered, going red. Alissa rolled her eyes and turned away, whispering something to her boyfriend who sat on the other side of her. Typical Alissa. Typical high school. The bell rang and his time next to Kira was over.
At first, Ethan was afraid of talking to Kira when she came to him after school. First, she was alone, second...Well...he was just plain weirded out by the situation. He could barely listen to her words as he stared into the deep blue abyss he knew as her eyes. Her pupils were large, even in the sunlight. "So, do you want to?" Ethan was once again snapped out of his thoughts to see her watching him, her eyes showing she was concerned with his behavior. "Uh...Yea, where do you live?" He asked. Kira's smile reached her eyes when he accepted her invitation to her home. "I'll drive us," she said excitedly, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward her Eclipse.
"Where is your house?" Ethan asked curiously as they walked through the trees. "I was just kidding. I don't want to go home. I know you watch me in class." Ethan blushed as she turned to see his reaction. "I think it's cute!" she giggled. Ethan noticed that when she smiled, two teeth stood out among the others. Her two canines were very well pointed. "I want to spend time with you." she said softly, eyes seductive.
Her teeth grazed his neck, causing him to gasp. Thoughts ran through his mind, but he refused to see them. He just wanted to be with her. Even her smell was seductive. His eyes held a glazed, drunken look. Kira was slowly taking over his mind. He knew he would be hers. He would be devoted to her. Her sharp teeth sank in, causing him to squirm. Blood drained into her mouth and she drank it, but she was not ready to kill him. She didn't want him dead, only to devote himself to her entirely. "I love you," Ethan whispered to the darkness. She only smiled and held him close.
Author notes
Now people, meet my new babies, Ethan and Kira...Maybe even Alissa! They are adorable! ^.^ -huggles her new characters- Anyway, I wrote this..for no reason whatsoever besides being bored. Hope ya like it.
A contest entry
- A Vampire Contest... With a twist. by Xineph.
600 points, ended June 19, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Just Come and Take a Look by LadyLionnir.
500 points, ended July 18, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Just Enter... by On.Cue.
375 points, ended November 10, 2007, 59 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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amazing!
OMG! this was amazing! I wish you would add more to it. this could really end up a great novel if you were willing to spend that much time with it. Again, AMAZING story.
Keep it up! ~LV~ -
I wish you could have expanded a bit more in the middle/end. Made it a bit more detailed and descriptive. Give a bit of foreshadowing...
I'm a sucker for vampire-related stories. =/
Hehe, so I must say that I liked this =D -
i love thime more
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I want more
Such wonderful descriptions I felt as if I was reading a novel Please even though this is a contest entry add more to it, I want to hear more of the Adventures of Ethan and our little vampress I'm gonna recommend this to my friends.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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wow omfg it s...
lets just say wtf -
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Well how in hell did you find your way to this particular story....oh....lol....seductful vampress...cute, eh?
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Wow, love the ending! It sounds as if it could be continued, too. Good job, thank you for entering and good luck!
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i love your characters... my only only problem with this- the name ethan. wow you had to pick that name.... geeze i almost didnt read it, but i made myself and i love it! im just glad his name is the title so i wouldnt be totally startled. wow im done cause this is just me ranting lol!
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I love the name Ethan lol
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Very good.
I actually liked this a lot. You have some very good writing in only 500 words, and your descriptions of Ethan's longing stood out particularly well. And again, even in that space, the characters all felt real and genuine. Nice work, and good luck.
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Thanks!
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I really like the part were you say typical alissa. Typical highschool. I really like this story and i want to read more! I think you use great discription, and word choice. I read it twice just in case their was something i missed that i
could give you advice on, but no it's great the way it is. Good Job it's very original.
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Awwww, thanks.
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4th para. "..she was concerned with him behavior." him should be his. oh and hey... in your notes you say Elissa... but in the story there's an Alissa... are they the same person, or different people? and this was great
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Huh, this was very interesting. I enjoyed reading it. Thought you wrote it well. Good job. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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