Gregory

The young boy awoke in an excited frenzy, bustling about in an attempt to locate his knightly attire. With widened eyes, he frantically searched the room. His small, yet intricately carved sword lay propped up against a corner. He slid it into the sheath on his belt and began searching for his armor.1

The helmet fit loosely on his tiny head allowing very minimal visual capabilities. Tufts of sandy brown hair poked through holes in what appeared to be a logo entitled “Folgers.” He pulled his sword and swung around in a full circle, knocking a toy soldier off the top of a pine dresser. 2

“Take that you…slimy goblin!” he bellowed in triumph. 3

He caught a glimpse of himself in the tall, glass mirrors of his closet doors, and even through the misshapen punctures of his headdress, a grin missing two front teeth could be seen beaming from ear-to-ear. 4

“I am King Gregory, master of…my kingdom.”5

He sheathed his sword once more, placed his cardboard shield on his arm and raced out his bedroom door. As he charged down the stairs, his shield rattled down the railing like a stick dragging down a washboard. By the time he reached the bottom, his helmet was completely turned around on his head and he ran straight into the wall ahead of him. With a loud “THUMP” he hit the floor as a heap of cardboard and tin. He quickly stood, situated his helmet, and proceeded with the journey to the back door.6

The door flung open in a fury, and King Gregory charged, sword in hand, to the middle of the yard where a tall oak tree stood looming over a small garden of marigolds.7

“Prepare to meet your doom!” Gregory cried, positioning himself in a fighting stance. “I may be seven, but I’m strong…and tough, too!” Gregory yelled at the tree.8

No response.9

“Are you too chicken?”10

Silence.11

Gregory frowned and lowered his sword. A slight breeze rustled the yellowing leaves on the branch just behind him. His left eyebrow rose as he flicked his eyes from right to left in suspicion. A wilted leaf broke from its stem and wisped the back of Gregory’s ear. He smirked, whipped around, and swung his mighty weapon at the swaying branch. 12

“Hi-yah! You thought you’d be sneaky, eh?”13

He whacked the tree over and over again as a thin curtain of bark, dirt and once whole leaves rained down on him.14

Tromping away from his victory, he approached a large boulder and sat upon it, staring at the array of color scattered on the ground. He sighed as if he were proud of himself and debated which adventure to pursue next. Before he could decide, a slobbering beast came up beside him and leaped into his lap. He jumped to his feet, waving his sword and holding up his guard with his shield. The creature stood before him yipping and barking in high-pitched squeaks.15

“Stand back, Beast” he commanded, but the creature just stood there wagging its tail with its ears cocked and its head tilted sideways in confusion.16

“Ah, you’re no fun, Rusty.”17

Gregory patted the dog on the head and threw the fuzzy, green tennis ball that lay at his feet.18

He quickly tired of playing catch and retreated back to the boulder. He slumped down, cupping his chin in two grubby hands. A look of boredom streamed across his face. His melancholy gaze suddenly sprang to alertness as he noticed a gathering of birds beneath a bird feeder hanging on the right side of the house. A toothless grin once more appeared on his face as he slowly, quietly raised his sword and shield. 19

A massive gust of air sent stray grass and dead leaves flying about as a battle cry echoed through the wind. Gregory charged across the mounds, swinging his sword to and fro.20

“Take THAT you dirty rats!” he bellowed. 21

The birds flew every which way in a frantic panic as a shiny cardboard box bearing weaponry and legs pushed itself into their flock.  Within seconds the birds were airborne, and all became silent again. Gregory heard something hit the top of his helmet with a slight “tink.” He slowly pulled his cap off and examined the outer casing. A great big goop of white and brown lay splattered on the top of his headwear. 22

Gregory gasped in disgust as he silently said to himself, “It actually pooped on me. That dirty rat dropped doo-doo right on my head!”23

He had had it. Gregory no longer found his profession suitable for his tastes. He quickly hurled the coffee can to his side as he removed his cardboard armor and once trusty sword. 24

“Greg, honey, lunch is ready! Come eat your sandwich, dear!”25

Gregory, defeated, slowly made his way to the back door as his mother beckoned him. As he sauntered through the doorway pouting, his mother asked, “Why the long face?”26

He breathed deeply and said, “I’m just not right for this job. I can’t BE a knight in shining armor. I’m just a kid again, Mom.”27

“That’s not such a bad thing, Greg. I love you just as you are.” She smiled. “Why don’t you eat your lunch? It’s your favorite – peanut butter and jelly.”28

He sat at the table with his sandwich and a tall glass of milk. He felt horrible, but he did love peanut butter and jelly so he grabbed the sandwich and took a huge bite out of it. He chewed for a second, and then stopped suddenly.29

“Mom! How come there’s no nuts?!”30

She popped her head around the corner and said, “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I could have sworn I bought chunky.” 31

He sighed loudly, resting one hand on the side of his head. Globs of purple and brown hung from the corners of his mouth and smeared across one side of his face. 32

“Not enough evil to fight, birds pooping on my head, no nuts in the peanut butter…Mom, it’s my first day and already I’ve decided I quit!” he said sadly.33

He sat and stared at his sandwich, peeling open the two slices of bread to examine its contents. 34

“Yep, smooth alright.” He thought out loud. 35

“No nuts” he muttered while tapping his chin.36

A smirk grew from his lips and turned into a full-blown smile.37

“Who took the nuts out of the peanut butter? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out because I’m Detective Gregory – chief of the peanut thief case!”38

With that he dashed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to acquire his new outfit. 39

A lone sandwich and glass of milk lay on the table as a ruckus clamored on upstairs. A new adventure had just begun…40